La Lettera
by mcpidy
Summary: Italy, being too afraid to tell Germany his true feelings decides to write them down in a letter. Unfortunately for Italy someone else happens to come across the letter...
1. Clove

**The letter - la lettera**

**Chapter 1 - Clove**

**Inner thought are in _Italics_.**

* * *

'Meow'

The brown tabby on my lap purred contently as he continued to knead my thigh. The kitty turned around on my lap about a dozen more times before finally settling down with a content 'purrr'.

"If only Germany were as loveable as you, il mio piccolo gattino." I said to the happy kitten as I scratched behinds its tiny ear. Today was a perfect day to just lie around and watch the clouds go by. I had been sitting against this rock for who knows how long, thinking about this and that and everything in between.

But mostly my thoughts revolved around Germany.

Yesterday at this very spot, Germany and I had pinkie sweared that we'd never forget about each other. That we would always be BFF's no matter what happened. Germany looked so flustered when he made that promise too. I thought with a small smile.

But then again Germany always looked flustered when we did things like that together. It really was an adorable sight to see the great and powerful Germany become so easily ruffled over any intimate thing. It was certainly charming in a way.

_One of the many things that has always attracted me to Germany._

I knew that Germany considered me to be his good friend but I was unsure of how he would react to my feelings towards him. Would he be angry? Upset? Saddened? Would he put the blame on me or himself?

Would he cease our friendship if I told him I loved him?

I held the little kitty closer to my chest and considered that thought. I really didn't know what Germany would do if I told him. But what I did know was that I would never want to lose him. Germany was my friend even though I loved him more than just that. I would never want to put our friendship in jeopardy because I couldn't keep my feelings to myself.

_But didn't papa Rome always tell you to follow your heart? That if you ever found someone you loved so dearly you would confess to them your heart and soul? Just like when papa Rome told you to do the same thing with Holy Roman Empire._

Yes, but Papa Rome was also a hopeless romantic.

It's true that when I gave my broom to Holy Rome and kissed him, it had been the happiest moment of my life. Never before had I felt so jubilant and alive in that one moment. I was certain that this young boy was my true love and that we would live happily together for all times.

Then my heart was shattered.

Holy Rome never came back from his mission. I had heard that he had been killed but no one was certain what had happened to him. I waited for years for that shy young boy to come running back into my life, but he never did. I had never cried so much in all my life, not even when papa Rome was vanquished.

After many years had passed I was able to pick myself back up and move on with my life. I had to, I was Northern Italy and I could no longer waste my time waiting for a boy that would never come. Romano told me to just forget about him and find someone better. Someone that wasn't a no good lying bastard, as my brother so bluntly put it.

But I could never forget about him. He was my first love, and you never forget your first crush. However I did learn that I could love again when I met Germany.

Germany reminds me so much of Holy Rome that I wouldn't be surprised if the two were related somehow. When I first met Germany I was instantly captivated by those icy blue eyes that reminded me so much of my first love. I only thought of Germany as a friend at first. But as time went by I found myself slowly falling in love with the strong German man.

He was precise and efficient in everything he did. He never backed down from anything or anyone. He loved beer and wurst with the same passion I had for pasta. He too had a brother that was almost the complete opposite of him. He talked in such a loud and commanding voice that it could send shackles up the devil's spine. He cared deeply for his country and would do anything to protect it. He was a strong, hardworking man that believed in getting the job done right.

Basically, Germany was my everything. _Everything except my lover._

I sighed and looked back up at the sky.

"Vee~ Gattino look! That cloud looks like a bowl of pasta!" I said excitedly as I pointed at the pasta shaped cloud.

The brown tabby looked up at me with sleepy amber eyes before yawning and stretching its back legs in a lazy manner.

"I guess it is getting kind of late huh?"

I picked ourselves up off the ground while patting the bits of grass off my blue military uniform pants as I walked down the grassy hill.

"Come on! Let's go see what Japan is up to."

* * *

"Japan! Buona sera!"I yelled happily as I ran up to where Japan was walking on the dirt road. I instantly spotted his clean white uniform and bowl shaped haircut walking up the road. The little tabby was still fast asleep in my arms as I ran up to Japan.

"Herro Itaria-san." Japan said politely as he stopped to let me catch up to him. I took a minute to catch my breath before I spoke.

"Bella serata, don't you think?" I asked as we continued down the empty road together.

"Yes, it is a beautiful night."

"Meraviglioso! You're getting really good at Italian, Japan!"

"Arigatō Itaria-san."

Japan and I talked about today's events and the status of the war as we walked to Germany's house. Training had gone well today, I wouldn't know since I skipped out on training again. But that wasn't my fault! It was just too beautiful of a day to waste training! That grassy hill was just screaming for me to come laze about.

I contemplated telling Japan I was going to spend the night with by brother at Spain's house to avoid a scolding from Germany when we got to his place. I knew Germany would not be happy to see me when we got there, and I didn't feel like getting yelled at tonight.

"You know Mr. Germany will only be more cross with you if you skip out on dinner as well." Japan said as if reading my thoughts.

"But Japan he's already going to be angry with me! What if he makes me go to bed without pasta?" I asked on the near to hysteria.

"Well that is the price you pay when you take the day off without permission." Japan said methodically as we neared Germany's house.

_Well he does have a point. I guess I'll just have to face Germany head-on and deal with the consequences like an adult._

I was about to make a mad dash to Spain's house when I felt Japan grab onto my arm and continue to drag me to Germany's doorstop.

"Please Japan! Germany's going to be so..."

Before I could finish the door slammed open with the force of bull revealing an angry looking Germany on the other side. He was still dressed in his training uniform and still equipped with his hat and whistle.

"PISSED OFF!" The large German yelled as he stood rigidly on the back steps.

"Yes I believe that is the phrase you were looking for Itaria-san." Japan chimed in, seemingly unaffected by Germany's rage.

_Thank you Japan, I think I'm fully aware of that now._

"So you decided to skip out on training again, iz that right?" Germany asked with agitation clear in his loud voice.

"I'm sorry Germa-"

"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!"

"Ahh! Yes that's right!" I answered frantically, trying to hide behind the sleeping cat in my arms.

"Japan, take zat cat inside." Germany told Japan who was still standing there quietly.

Japan gently grabbed the cat from my arms while giving me an apologetic look before going inside and shutting the door behind him.

Germany proceeded to walk down the back steps and grab my arm roughly, dragging me over to where the training grounds were.

"You are going to do today's training if it takes all night Italy." Germany said in his commanding voice.

"But Germany its dinner time!"

Germany stopped walking to give a heated look.

"And you vill go to bed hungry if you do not finish your training, understand!"

"Yes…" I said pathetically with my head down and my shoulders sagged.

"Yes, vhat Italy?"

"Uhh Yes sir!" I said with my back straitened and my right arm saluting him.

Germany nodded his head at me as we continued over to where the training grounds were. It was nearing sunset so the training field was cast in an orange hue, Germany's shadow loomed over me like an intimidating figure.

"But Germany it's going to be dark soon..."

Germany's answer was to pull out a small flashlight from his pants-pocket.

"You have 1 minute to give me 40 pushups! Starting now!" Germany said with authority as he started his stopwatch.

I dropped to the ground and immediately struggled with trying to do my first pushup.

"Eine, zwei, drei...I did not ask for drie! I said vierzig! Start over!"

I fell onto the ground with a groan as I started my pushups over again.

_I should have just went straight to Spain's house._

* * *

It was nearing midnight when we walked into Germany's house, finally finished with training.

My body was sore all over, my joints screamed from the aching pain of doing all that work. Pushups, sit-ups, crunches, laps around the house and target practice. You name it, I did it. I was utterly exhausted and if I wasn't so motivated by pasta I would have just passed out by now.

"But at least I can have pasta now..." I said to myself as I walked into Germany's kitchen. I was interrupted however by Germany's gloved hand on my shoulder.

"No pasta. Consider it an added punishment for skipping training again. Instead you vill have potatoes. And no, I am not giving you a choice." Germany said in a gruff, unquestioning voice.

The devastation on my face was unmistakable. _No pasta? I'd rather go to bed hungry than eat Germany's bland potatoes!_

But I suppose this is what I get for skipping training...again.

I sat down at Germany's kitchen table while Germany prepared the potatoes. While he was busy peeling them, the brown kitty from earlier trotted into the kitchen and hopped onto the table.

"Buona sera Gattino." I said to the little tabby cat as I scratched his furry head.

"Vhen are you going to give zat cat a proper name?" Germany asked while peeling the skin off the potatoes.

"Mmmm I haven't really thought about it. Maybe I should go to Greece! He's an expert at naming cats!" I said while petting the brown cat.

"You don't need to ask that dummkopf anything. If you can't think of a name I'll name za cat for you."

Germany placed the plate of potatoes down on the table and picked the brown up cat to closely inspect it.

Said cat opened its sleepy ocher eyes and gave a soft 'mew' to Germany.

"How about Clove?"

"Clove?"

"Yes, it means spice in German."

I thought about it for a moment, the little cat's eyes did remind me of a certain spice. It was a perfect name for the young tabby.

"I think it fits him perfectly. Clove it is then." I smiled at Germany while grabbing a potato.

Germany blushed profoundly and quickly set the cat on the floor as he pulled up a chair next to me and took a bite out of one of the potatoes.

"Do you have any butter Germany?"

"No butter. You vill eat zem plain like every other German."

"But I'm Italian!"

"An Italian that's living under a German's roof and eating his food mind you."

I sheepishly looked back down at my potato and took a bite with a grimace. _How can Germany eat plain potatoes like it's nothing! There's absolutely no flavor!_

I didn't notice Germany looking at me from the corner of his eye while chewing my raw potato.

I was about to take another dreadful bite of the plain vegetable when Germany got up and walked over to the cupboards. I heard him move some things around before he came back and handed me a small thing of butter with some salt.

I could feel the butterflies in my stomach flutter as I smiled warmly at the love of my life.

"Grazie Germania."

"Gern geschehen Italien."

* * *

**Well there's the first chapter.**

**What do you guys think, should I continue it or not?**

**Let me know!**

**mcpidy**

* * *

**Translations**:

**Italian**

il mio piccolo gattino- my little kitten

Buona sera- Good evening

Bella serata- Beautiful night

Meraviglioso- Wonderful

Grazie Germania- Thank you Germany

**German**

Eine, zwei, drei- 1, 2, 3

Vierzig- 40

Dummkopf- idiot

Gern geschehen Italien- You're welcome Italy

**Japanese**

Itaria- Italy

Arigatō (Casual/pretty informal) - Thank you


	2. How it all started

**Chapter 2 – How it all started**

**Inner thoughts are in **_Italics_

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. **

* * *

I woke up unbelievably sore the next morning. I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed all day and relax but I knew Germany had another training session for today. _And there's no way he'd let me skip out again this time._

I begrudgingly got out of bed and got dressed in my clean military outfit which Japan had laid out for me. Making my way down the stairs I caught the tantalizing smell of bacon and eggs being cooked in the kitchen. My stomach rumbled as I hurried down to Germany's kitchen to get some breakfast.

Prussia was wearing a cooking apron and humming a German tune as he cooked some bacon and eggs on the stove burner.

"Buongiorno Prussia!" I said while walking into kitchen and sitting down at the table.

"Guten Morgen Ita-chan! You want some bacon and eggs I take it?" Prussia asked as he turned around and waved his spatula.

"Si! You are an amazing cook Prussia! I would love to have some of your bacon and eggs. But I can't stay too long; I've got to get to Germany's training session here pretty soon." I said, looking out the window to see if I could spot any of Germany's troops.

"Oh? Did Japan and West not tell you? Germany had to cancel his training session for today because his boss called him in for an emergency meeting." Prussia said as he turned back towards the stove to scramble the eggs some more.

"Was it something serious?"

"Probably just the same old bullshit. You know Germany's boss, za guy is kind of nuts."

I was glad to have the day off from training but I didn't like the thought of Germany's boss calling him in for an emergency meeting. That couldn't be good. Plus Germany always came back in a sour mood after talking with his boss so I didn't look forward to that.

I was broke out of my thoughts as Prussia put a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs in front of me. It smelled delicious but the thought of Germany having to put up with his boss's nonsense was still making me uneasy and derailing my appetite.

"Something wrong Ita-chan?" Prussia asked nervously.

"I'm just worried about Germany. I mean an emergency meeting sounds like something has gone wrong doesn't it? And Germany never likes talking to his boss so he always comes back in a bad mood. And I don't like it when he's upset like that."

Prussia smiled at me fondly before grabbing his own plate and sitting down next to me.

"I'm sure everything will be fine mein Italien. Besides you vorry too much! You're going to get stress wrinkles here pretty soon kid!" Prussia cackled while pulling on my cheek.

"But aren't you worried? He is your little brother after all."

"I've never had to vorry about West. He's always been able to take care of himself. Ze German blood runs strong him!" Prussia proclaimed loudly while thrusting his fork in the air.

I couldn't help but smile at Prussia's exuberance as he thrusted his fork up proudly. He was always so carefree, so much unlike his brother. I wish Germany could be as easygoing as Prussia was every once in a while. Germany deserved to just kick back and relax with how hard he always worked. But getting that man to relax was like trying to get a horse to swim across a lake, very difficult.

I slowly ate the breakfast that Prussia cooked for me as I silently listened to him prattle on about how his own awesome training was going.

* * *

After breakfast I went back up to my room to relax a bit. I opened the window to let the cool air into my room and refresh it. Looking out onto the countryside I couldn't help but remark how beautiful Germany's country was, the land was robust and stunning. _Much like Germany himself._

I sighed as I continued to look out the window and remark the landscapes. But every hilltop, every deep-rooted building, every glistening lake, every busy town reminded me of Germany. Reminded me of how much I was in love with that man. How every little thing I looked upon brought him into my mind.

"I can't keep thinking like this, it's going to drive me nuts." I said to myself with a long sigh as I ran my hand through my auburn hair.

But what was I to do? I could never date another person; I would feel like I was betraying Germany even though we weren't really seeing each other. Besides the only one I could ever want is Germany. The only person in the world who truly makes me happy just to be alive.

But I can never tell him that.

_What did papa Rome always tell me? If you're ever having trouble saying something just write it down._ _Turn your feelings into poetry and let the words flow._ Papa Rome always did comment on how exquisitely skilled I was with the pen.

I pulled out a pen and paper from my desk and sat down in the wooden chair. _How could I even begin to express my feelings for Germany? I could write a whole book about how I feel about him._ I looked out into the countryside again before I began to write down how I felt.

I love you.

Since the first day we met, I was instantly captivated by you.

You were strong, intimidating, and yet shy.

I had felt like I had already met you somewhere before.

I felt like I could trust you.

At first I only thought of you as my friend, but that has long since changed.

Ti amo.

I think I have always loved you, my friend.

I have cherished every moment we've spent together.

The good and the bad.

I do not know how you feel about me but please know this.

I would never want to lose you; you are the most cherished person to ever grace my life.

Even if you never return my feelings I still want to be with you as your friend and comrade.

Even if you were to think less of me because of how I feel, I would still think you were the most beautiful person I had ever met.

Tio amo.

Mio amico

Mio compagno

Mio capo

Mio amore.

I hope someday I can hear these words fall from your lips:

Ich Liebe Dich mein Italien.

Forever yours,

Feliciano Vargas

"Magnifico." I whispered before planting a kiss onto the paper. Papa Rome would be proud of such a genuine letter. _But I can't let Germany ever find this._

I was so lost in my thoughts I neglected to hear the sound of loud footsteps approaching my room and the door being opened.

"Italy, there you are." A gruff voice said from behind me.

I nearly jumped out of my chair as I turned around to find the love of my life standing in the doorway.

"Germany! I thought you were having a meeting with your boss." I said while quickly rolling up the love letter.

"It got cut short, gott sei dank. Vhat have you got zhere?" Germany asked while walking up towards me.

My heart felt like it had dropped into my stomach. I was clutching onto the paper for dear life, praying that Germany wouldn't ask to see it. I contemplated eating the parchment if it came to that.

"Oh this? It's just a letter, nothing special." I said trying my best to sound casual and not stutter.

"Well you can mail it later. Right now we are running laps." Germany said as he grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me out of my chair.

"But I thought you cancelled training for today!" I whined as I left the letter sitting on the desk.

"I already sent my troops home for the day but that still doesn't mean we can't train. Not quit your vhining and come along. We've got a long day of training ahead of us." Germany said agitatedly as he dragged me out the door and down the steps.

_I'll have to get rid of that letter later today._

* * *

While Italy was being forcefully dragged out the front door it completely slipped his mind that he forgot to shut the window in his room.

A strong breeze blew in from the window, scattering the letter into the hallway and in front of a certain yellow bird's path. The small bird looked at the rolled up parchment puzzled for a moment before grabbing the letter with its feet and carrying it off to his beloved owner.

Said man was busy looking through the fridge and mumbling about the lack of beer when the tiny, yellow bird chirped its arrival as it flew in front of the albino's head.

"Oh, what's zis? A letter for the awesome me? Probably just some poor sap telling me how awesome I am and how dey is not. Kesesese!" Prussia cackled loudly before unraveling the letter.

The look on Prussia's face slowly went from smug satisfaction to one of utter disbelief. The man was so taken back from the contents of the letter he fell back into the nearest chair, having lost the strength to stand. The old nation re-read the letter dozens of times to make sure his eyes weren't playing tricks on him and that the letter really did say what he thought it said.

"I don't believe it..." Prussia whispered to the empty kitchen as he finally set the paper down on his lap. Prussia stared off into nothing for what seemed like hours. The man just couldn't wrap his mind around what he had just read moments ago.

"Ita-chan...is this true?" Prussia asked the loved filled paper. The man was so overcome by the emotion put into the letter he didn't know what to think. No one had ever done something like this for him before. Ever.

Never in his long life had someone even told him that they loved him. That had always left a bitter hole of loneliness inside Prussia that no amount of beer or wurst could fill. It's true he came off as a goofy and care-free ex-nation but inside he was a man dying to have someone he could call his own. Someone he could love unconditionally and return the feelings back to him. He wanted to have someone like Austria had Hungary and vice versa. He wanted that special feeling two people get when they're in love.

He wanted Italy.

Prussia had always been attracted to the little Italian. Everything about him was captivating. Italy was so loving and charismatic that it was hard not to fall in love him. But it happened.

Prussia only realized a few years ago that he was in love with the wenig Italienisch. But he held back on those feelings because he always thought Italy was in love with his little brother, Ludwig.

And now Prussia came here to find that Italy had loved him all along. It was like a dream come true.

"Italy..." Prussia smiled lovingly at the paper before placing a chaste kiss on top of it.

* * *

Germany and I had been running laps for nearly two hours. I couldn't understand where Germany got all of his stamina from, it was insane! _Maybe it's in their beer?_

"No slowing down Italy! Or do you vant to stop and do crunches again!" Germany yelled from behind me.

"Can we please stop to take a quick break? My legs feel like jello!"

"They only feel like zat because you don't exercise enough! Now keeping moving!"

I picked up my pace and kept on running. I got distracted by Germany's yelling again however and didn't see the large stone in front of me. I stumbled but didn't fall on my face, surprisingly. I could have caught myself from falling if the large German behind me didn't trip as well and fall on top of me. Now under normal circumstances I would have been very pleased with this position, but seeing as I scraped my face with Germany's heavy weight on top of that, I was very uncomfortable.

"Scheiße...Italy are you ok?" Germany asked while pushing his large frame off of me.

"Uhh I think so." I said exhaustedly as I rubbed my scraped forehead.

"Here let me see." Germany lifted me onto my feet with ease as he inspected my forehead.

"Vell you're not bleeding, but you do have a big scratch on your forehead. Here hold still a moment." Germany pulled out a small tin of Band-Aids from his pants pocket and carefully put one over the scratch on my head.

"Zhere, now vatch where you're going next time. You could have lost an eye just then Italy!" Germany scolded as he poked the Band-Aid on my forehead.

"Si, Grazie Germany."

"And I'm sorry I fell on you too. I should have been more vigilant." Germany said while blushing and looking the other way.

"Vell I think we both trained hard enough for today. How about we take the rest of the day off ja?" Germany asked while walking back towards his home.

"Yaaa! Race you to the house Germany! The loser doesn't get any pasta tonight!" I took off in my fastest sprint to get to my room and get rid of that letter as quickly as possible.

I caught Germany off guard so I was a few steps ahead of him. As soon as he recovered from his shock though he straightened his hat and yelled back at me.

"Very well, I accept your challenge!" And with that Germany charged after me.

Now I may be a lazy bumpkin but that doesn't mean I'm not quick on my feet. I always beat Romano and big brother France whenever we raced each other as kids. I was very confident that I was going to win. I also wanted to prove to Germany that I did have strong attributes and that even I could beat him in something.

I was nearing the front of the house and gaining speed. I was about to touch the front door and declare myself the victor when a massive weight attacked me from behind and tackled me to the ground. Germany lifted his gloved hand and touched the wooden door.

"I vin."

"Hey no fair! I didn't say you could tackle me!" I whined from underneath Germany.

"And you didn't say I couldn't tackle you either. I just did vhat I had to do in order to achieve victory. You should have intercepted my tackle and dodged it." Germany said while helping me up and brushing the dirt off my uniform.

"Now ve vill have wurst und potatoes for supper. Since you lost, no pasta." Germany said strictly while walking through the front door.

_No pasta again! What bad luck!_

I put those thoughts aside for a moment as I ran up to my room to dispose of that letter. The door was still open so I walked right inside and straight for the desk. My face paled and my heart skipped when I saw that the letter was gone. I completely tore apart my room as I frantically searched for the damnable letter.

* * *

"Bruder do ve have any wurst left or should I just leave for the store now?" Germany asked his older brother who was still sitting in the kitchen.

Prussia was busy looking over his letter with a dream-like expression on his face. Apparently not having heard Germany at all.

"Bruder? Are you even listening? And vat is zat you're reading?" Germany asked curiously as he turned around to look at his brother.

"It's a letter. A letter that Italy wrote for me...do you vant to read it West?"

* * *

**Well there is the second chapter.**

**Review and let me know how this story is going.**

**I got the idea for this story the other day and wanted to see if anyone would enjoy it.**

**Let me know if I should keep going with this or not. I have another story I'm in the midst of writing and I'll probably just drop this one to focus on the other if no one's into it.**

**mcpidy**

* * *

**Translations:**

**Italian**:

Buongiorno- Good morning

Ti amo- I love you

Mio amico- My friend

Mio compagno- My comrade

Mio capo- My leader

Mio amore- My love

Magnifico- Magnificent

**German**:

Guten Morgen- Good morning

mein Italien- my Italy

Ich Liebe Dich mein Italien- I love you, my Italy

gott sei dank- Thank god

wenig Italienisch- little Italian

Scheiße- shit

und- and

Bruder- brother


	3. A storm approaches

**Chapter 3 - A storm approaches**

**A special thank you to pandy334, Moonlight Mile, LittleMissDarkling, karmamantra and sanemadness who left awesome reviews. I'm really glad you guys like this story!**

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters**

* * *

"Where is it! Where is it! Piacere a Dio lasciatemi trovare quella lettera!" I prayed to God hoping I could find that letter before somebody else did. I looked everywhere in my room but there was still no sign of that letter. _I should have never written it in the first place!_ _Idiota!_

The wind suddenly wafted into my room, ruffling my hair and clothes before dying down. A storm was brewing outside, a nasty one from the look of it. I quickly shut the window before I remembered that I had left the paper on my desk when I had left with Germany. _What if the wind took it somewhere? If it flew out the window I'll never find it in a storm!_

I quickly threw on my coat and ran downstairs to look for the letter. _I should tell Germany I'm going out to get some milk or something._

I hurried down to the kitchen to tell Germany where I was going when I bumped into Prussia.

"Oh! Excuse me Prussia, I didn't see you there." I said quickly while trying to go around him.

"Italy! There you are! I was wondering when you were going to come down, West and I have been waiting for you." Prussia said while wrapping his arm around my shoulders and leading me into the kitchen.

"What do you mea-" I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw what was in Germany's hands. His back was to me so I couldn't see his face but his hand that held onto the paper was shaking. He was reading what looked to be a rolled up letter.

_No please god, don't let that be my letter._

I felt like I was going to faint right there. My breathing became uneven as I started to hyperventilate. My vision even stared to blur slightly as I wobbled in Prussia's grip.

_No...no no no no! This can't be happening!_

"I got your letter Italy. I must say I never knew you felt zis way. Why didn't you say something sooner mein Italien?" Prussia whispered into my ear.

Germany refused to turn around as his empty hand clenched into a tight fist, the leather from his glove making a threatening sound. _He's angry, he hates me. I knew this would happen! Germany's going to kick me out and never let me come back!_

"How did you come across that letter, no one was supposed to see it!" I asked my voice raising as I turned to look at Prussia with hysteric eyes.

"Gilbird gave it to me earlier this afternoon while you and West were out training." Prussia said while the little bird on his shoulder chirped in response and flew into the other room.

_Accidenti quell'uccello all'inferno. _I thought bitterly as I glared at the retreating bird.

"I almost can't believe it Italy. All zis time I never could have guessed you felt zis way." Prussia said from beside me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't take my eyes off Germany's form. He looked so rigid, like he was going to explode at any moment. I could always tell when Germany was angry, and right now all I could feel in the room was cold hate.

"German-"

"Is zis true." Germany said in a harsh whisper, holding up the letter.

His voice was filled with such an animosity. I have never in all my years heard Germany speak like that before, it was unnerving.

"Now West don't get upset. You can't blame Italy for how he truly feels." Prussia said while placing his hands on my quivering shoulders.

I took a tentative step towards Germany to try and explain the letter and calm his rising fury.

"Please Germany I never meant for you to read that letter! I didn't want to tell you because I didn't know how you would react. Please just let me explain..."

"What iz there left to explain Italien! It's all here, black und white in zis verdammten brief!" Germany bellowed loudly, crushing the letter in his hand and throwing it on the ground.

I flinched at Germany's voice and watched him turn around to face me. His eyes were a mixture of wild emotions while his face stayed impassive, save for the clenching of his jaw.

"How long have you felt zis way Italy?" Germany asked timidly in that soft whisper again.

I didn't know what to say. The man I loved so dearly was looking at me with such utter revulsion in his icy blue eyes. It was like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from.

"I've always felt this way Germany." I said quietly as tears started to form in my eyes.

A look of hurt flashed in Germany's eyes before his face became filled with unbridled anger. Germany stomped his way out of the kitchen and slammed the door on his way out with a deafening bang.

I slumped into the nearest kitchen chair, unable to keep myself up any longer.

"He hates me..." I said while tears began to fall from my eyes.

Prussia came around in front me and pulled me into a strong hug. I grabbed onto Prussia's black shirt and buried my head into his shoulder.

"Sshhh Italien. West does not hate you. He just needs time to cool off and think about all of this. It is a lot to take in at once after all." Prussia said soothingly as he stroked my back.

I just silently cried into Prussia's shoulder while grabbing onto his shirt for dear life. Right now I wanted to die; I had never felt such crushing misery before in my entire life.

"West just needs time to get used to the thought of you and me being together that's all. He'll come around eventually Ita-chan."

...

_What?_

"What did you say Prussia?" I asked inaudibly, almost too afraid to hear his answer.

"West just needs some time to get used to **us** Ita-chan. You know, as a couple."

I was so confused at that moment. I really did feel like I was in a horrible nightmare that just kept getting worse and worse.

"Oh right! How rude of me, I haven't even told you what I thought of your letter Ita-chan." Prussia said as he walked over to the crumpled up letter and picked it up. He smoothed it out onto the table before turning to look at me with a loving expression.

"I want you to know that your fears of rejection are nothing to fret about. I've always wanted to tell you this Italy but I never got the courage until now."

Prussia pulled up a chair in front of me and took a deep breath before taking my hands into his own and sitting down.

"I have always loved you Italy. Since the first day we met, you instantly captivated me with your Italian charm. I'm sorry I kept my feelings from you for all these years, if I had known you felt the same way I would have swooped you off your feet a lot sooner."

I sat there with an unreadable look on my face. _This can't be happening._

"Italy, you have no idea how happy your letter made me. No one has ever done such a kind and loving act for me before. Your letter almost brought tears to my eyes with how much emotion you put into it. I know I may seem like West's goofy older brother, but just between you and me, I've been depressed for many years."

Prussia squeezed my hands tighter before he continued.

"I very often have thoughts about suicide. I never saw much point in living since I was no longer considered a nation. I mean, I was once known as the great and powerful Prussia and now I am reduced to being the ex-nation that lives in his little brother's basement. For years I felt like shit. Like I was less than shit. But then I read your letter and everything changed, I found a reason to live Italy. To find out that you feel the same way as I do was indescribable. I've never known the feeling of being loved until I read your letter Italy."

Prussia grabbed my face in his large hands and brushed away my tears with his thumbs. He brought my face to his mouth as he kissed my forehead and pecked his way down to my ear before he stopped.

"Ich Liebe Dich mein Italien." Prussia whispered into my ear before kissing me on the lips and holding me close to his chest.

I was in utter disbelief. _Is this some kind of joke? Is the universe playing some kind of trick on me? Am I being punished for something I did?_

_Please let this all be a dream. Please let me wake up in my warm bed and be thankful none of this really happened. _

_Per favore signore, per una volta per favore ascolta la mia preghieres. _I desperately begged my lord, hoping he would take pity and wake me from this bad dream.

But when I opened my eyes I was still in Prussia's arms.

"Prussia we can't do this." I said tensely as I pulled myself from his embrace and stood up, nearly knocking my chair over.

"What do you mean? If you're worried about West..."

"Of course I'm worried about Germany, one of has to be! And since you never seem to give a shit about him I guess it has to be me!" I stopped suddenly, shocked by my own words. I never swore at people in anger. Papa Rome would have me over his knee in less than a second if he heard me talking like that, especially to an elder.

Prussia was just as shocked as I was as he stared at me with wide red eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to swear and yell at you. But in case you didn't notice my best friend just stormed out the door with hate brimming in his eyes at me. I cannot be with you if it means hurting Germany. Prussia, I do care for you and will always be there for you but this relationship could never work. I think its best you just forgot all about this letter." I said forlornly as I looked down at the floor with exhaustion.

I still couldn't believe how messed up everything had become. _I can't believe Prussia had thought that letter was for him. This day is turning into a complete disaster._

**'CRACK!'**

I jumped as the sound of thunder shook the room and announced the beginnings of the storm.

I was broke out of my thoughts when Prussia stood up then with a serious look on his face. He aggressively grabbed my wrists and pulled me towards him with a deadly look in his eerie red eyes.

"Now you listen to me and you listen good. I did not pour my heart and soul out to you just to have you tell me it could never verk. That is unacceptable, do you hear me! I don't care what West thinks he vill not come between us Italien. I will not stand for it. Now you are going to accept this relationship one way or another, do I make myself clear?" Prussia asked with heated conviction as he squeezed my wrists to the point of bruises.

"Prussia that hurts..."

"I believe I asked you a question Italien. And I expect an immediate answer." Prussia narrowed his eyes at me as he continued to abuse my wrists.

"Yes! Please let go!"

Prussia smiled at my answer but did not release my wrists; he merely stopped clutching them in his iron grip.

"That's what I wanted to hear Italien." Prussia said fondly as he caressed the side of my face with the back of his fingers.

"Now tell me mein Italien, who do you love?" Prussia asked as he leaned toward my face, his hot breath caressing my cheek.

"Y-you Prussia..." I said hoping he would buy it. I didn't want to upset the Prussian any further with how unstable his mood was at the moment.

"Call me Gilbert from now on Italien."

"S-si Gilb-bert." I couldn't help but stutter; Prussia was really starting to scare me.

Prussia smiled warmly at me before bringing me in for another heated kiss. One of Prussia's arms wrapped around my lower back while his other hand cupped the back of my head, clutching my hair.

_God what have I done? _

* * *

I had been sitting in my jeep on the deserted dirt road for god knows how long. Being shitfaced, I had completely lost track of time.

After leaving the house and going straight down to the bar I only had one thing in mind, to get myself so drunk I would completely forget this night.

_Why? Why him out of everyone else in the world? Why my bruder?_

I gripped the steering wheel harder as I thought back to that **fucking** **letter**. That little piece of paper shattered my life in less than a minute. I remembered thinking that this has to be a joke. There's no way Italy would write such a thing to Prussia of all people.

But I'd recognize that exquisite handwriting anywhere. It was indeed Feli's, and he indeed wrote that letter. _I just didn't want to believe it._

"Gott verdammt noch mal!" I whispered bitterly as I rested my head against the steering wheel. My head pounded from how irate I still was. I was mad at Italy for being in love with my bruder. I was mad at Prussia for accepting Italy's love so easily. I was mad at myself for not telling Italy my feelings sooner.

_But would it have even made a difference? Italy's letter said he has always been in love with Prussia, since the day they first met. _I growled as I remembered that I had been the one to first introduce the two.

_Maybe if I had never introduced Italy to Prussia he would be mine right now and not my idiot bruder's._

I could feel the jealously making my blood boil once again. I wanted to beat the shit out of Prussia and tear that letter to shreds. If it wasn't for Italy's quivering form blocking my path to Prussia I probably would have earlier.

_Italy..._

_He looked so scared for Prussia back there; he must really care for the man. Does he think of me as some sort of mongrel for the way I acted? I didn't mean to shout and slam the door but I was in such a blind rage I couldn't control myself. _

"Italy...mein Italien. Wie konntest du mir das antun?" I said with a wretched sob as I tried to fight back the tears trying to make their way down my face.

All of a sudden I sensed the familiar churning sensation in my gullet as I felt bile rise in my throat. I opened the door and fell out of my jeep as I threw up the night's beer all over the road. I could feel tiny droplets of water come falling from the sky as I was abruptly immersed in the rain.

I continued to drive heave on the road as the rain muffled my miserable sobs.

* * *

**I'm really glad those of you that reviewed enjoy this story! This plot is really fun to work with so I enjoy writing this story very much. Now just a heads up, this story might get a little dark as it goes along so be aware of that.**

**Thanks again for the reviews.**

**Until next time readers**

**mcpidy**

* * *

**Translations**:

**Italian**:

Piacere a Dio lasciatemi trovare quella lettera- Please god let me find that letter

Idiota- Idiot

Accidenti quell'uccello all'inferno- Damn that bird to hell

Per favore signore, per una volta per favore ascolta la mia preghieres- Please god, please just this once hear my prayers

**German**:

verdammten brief- damn letter

Gott verdammt noch mal- God dammit

Wie konntest du mir das antun- How could you do this to me?


	4. False pretense

**Chapter 4 – False pretense **

**Warnings: Some sexual content in this chapter**

* * *

Germany never came back last night. I waited up late into the night to see when he'd be coming back, but he never did. Prussia eventually told me to go to bed and wait for Germany in the morning. As usual, he wasn't even the least bit concerned for his brother's well-being.

_I know Germany is strong, but I can't help but worry about him._

I didn't get any sleep that night; my mind was still reeling from last night's events. How one little letter changed everything in an instant. Things were never going to be the same between Prussia, Germany and me. I may have also permanently damaged their brotherly relationship by setting them against one another.

I let out another sigh as I rolled over on my bed to face the ceiling.

I still didn't know what I was going to say to Germany when I did see him. I didn't know if I should tell him the truth or apologize for writing the letter in the first place. Germany was so infuriated when he left I doubt he even wants to look at me. _Would Germany kick me out of the Axis for this?_ I couldn't be certain. He would have every right to since he is pretty much our commander and all.

I don't know what I would do if that were to happen. _Join the Allies like Romano says we should, I suppose._ But it would break my heart to be pitted against Germany. I want Germany to succeed and be happy; I can't help him achieve that if I'm on the other side fighting against him.

I didn't know how I could possibly fix things between me and Germany. I had no idea what to say or what to do. I knew Germany never liked to talk about his feelings so getting him to talk to me about it would be nearly impossible. But I couldn't just leave things the way they were with everything as screwed up as it was now.

Especially my situation with Prussia.

I never knew the ex-nation was so lonely. It never occurred to me that the Prussian longingly desired for a relationship. He seemed perfectly content with being by himself most of the time. But I guess that shows how much I know. The longing in the Prussian's eyes was almost painful to look at. The man had been craving for any kind of love and affection and he wanted it from me.

I felt bad for Prussia. If I had known he'd been suffering by himself for so long I would have helped him out. I would have done everything I possibly could to help him find someone. Maybe introduced him to some pretty women or something. But now I see no way of doing any of that. The Prussian was so starved for love he jumped at the first opportunity presented to him, which unfortunately happened to be my letter.

And now he has been fooled into thinking I've been in love him this whole time. And Germany thinks so too.

_But I can't keep up this charade with Prussia forever. Sooner or later the truth will come out and then what will happen?_

I pulled up my sleeves to look at the dark bruises on my wrist from where Prussia grabbed me. I should count myself lucky he didn't shatter the bones considering how strong he is.

'_Now you are going to accept this relationship one way or another, do I make myself clear?'_

Prussia's words rang in my head as I remembered the threat laced in that sentence. I rubbed my wrist as I considered that telling Prussia the truth was not going to be so easy. The man was totally bipolar last night, going from uncontrollable joy to emotionless wrath and back in less than a minute. Prussia was undoubtedly hell bent on continuing this so-called relationship we began, whether I wanted to or not.

_Even for a retired nation, Prussia is as dangerous as ever. _

I jumped in my bed when I heard a knocking at my door. I was hesitant to answer since it could only be one of the three people that stayed here, two of which I did NOT want to see right now.

I eventually got up and timidly opened the door. It was Japan with Clove in his arms.

"Oh Japan, Buongiorno. What brings you here on this fine bella mattina?" I asked relieved to only see my friend at the door.

"Ohayōgozaimasu Itaria-san. Your cat was rorring around outside my door and making odd cat noises. It was starting to annoy me." Japan said almost apologetically.

"Le mie scuse, Japan. Clove does that a lot sometimes." I said sheepishly as I took the cat and held him to my chest. I then noticed that Clove had a nice looking collar around his neck with a shiny nametag attached to it.

"Japan did you get Clove a collar?"

"No Mr. Germany got it for him the other day. He told me it was a gift for you."

The guilt that washed over me was almost unbearable. Germany was always doing such nice things for me, would all of that change now because of the letter?

"Japan have you seen Germany at all this morning?" I asked fretfully.

"Yes he just got home a few minutes ago. He told me he was sick with the stomach fru so he has cancelled all training sessions for today."

_That doesn't sound like Germany at all._ I already knew that he wasn't sick with a bug; it didn't take a genius to figure out that he had been drinking all night and was probably just very hung-over.

But cancelling the training session for the troops two days in a row? His soldiers are going to become restless and edgy at this rate. Something we cannot afford at this stage in the war. Those soldiers need to stay active or they will become lazy and unfit for battle.

"Japan do you think we could train Germany's troops today? Since Germany is sick with the flu we could take over just until he gets better." I asked my friend.

"I don't know if that is a good idea Itaria-san. Those are Germany's troops and they onry follow his orders. Prus Germany might be angry with us if he found out we were ordering his troops around without his permission." Japan said in his usual robotic tone.

"What if we got Prussia to help us? They would follow him like they would Germany right?"

"I suppose so..."

"Molto buona! I'll go get Prussia and you get the troops to the training field pronto!" I said as I set Clove down on my bed as headed down the stairs with Japan.

"May I ask where this sudden enthusiasm for training came from Itaria-san?"

_I am doing this for Germany; it's my fault he spent the whole night drinking and got himself sick. This is the least I can do for him._

"We can't allow Germany's troops to get used to these numerous days off. They will become slothful and uncoordinated if left to their own devices all day long." I said as we stood in the kitchen.

"That is a good point, Itaria-san. I will bring the troops here immediately." Japan said as he hurried out the door.

I took a deep breath to steady my nerves as I made my down to Germany's basement.

Prussia was fast asleep on his bed when I walked into his room. His bedroom and clean and organized, much like Germany's. One of the very few traits they actually shared. I walked up to the side of his bed and gently shook his shoulder.

"Prus...I mean Gilbert! Wake up; I need to speak with you per favore!" I said in a loud whisper.

Prussia rolled onto his side, opening his dreary eyes while scratching his package. He smiled when he saw it was me.

"Guten Morgen mein Italien. What brings you down here?" Prussia asked with a sleepy grin.

"I came to ask if..."

Before I could finish Prussia grabbed my arm and pulled me into bed underneath him. Prussia leaned down with his hands on both sides of my head and whispered against my lips.

"If you wanted to help me take care of my morning wood?" Prussia whispered seductively as he ground his hips into mine. It was then that I realized Prussia was completely naked underneath the sheets. His hard member insistently poked me in the gut, demanding attention.

I gave out a shrill yelp as I pushed my hands onto Prussia's shoulders to put some much needed distance between us.

"What! No, I came to ask if you would help me and Japan train Germany's troops for today. He's not feeling well and someone needs to command the troops." I said trying my best to push Prussia off of me, which was like trying to move a freight train on my part.

"Of course I can help you Ita-chan. But that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun first." Prussia said while kissing my neck.

"Please Prussia we need to-"

**'SMACK!'**

"I thought I told you to stop calling me zat!"

I was stunned. I had never been smacked across the face before in such anger, not even by Romano. I could feel the stinging sensation on my cheek as tears began to prickle my eyes.

"I'm sorry Feli. Here let me kiss it better." Prussia said as he grabbed my face and kissed the redness on my cheek where he had slapped it.

"But you should know better than to go against any of my requests Italien. See that you don't make that mistake again." Prussia said while looking directly into my eyes, the intimidation evident in his red irises.

"Mi dispiace Gilbert, but I'm just so used to calling you Prussia that's all." I said fearfully while Prussia looked down at me with cold indifference.

He smiled affectionately then before he responded.

"Like I said Ita-chan, **don't make that mistake again**." His smile was warm but his eyes spelled trouble should I cross him again.

"Si." I said compliantly, not wanting to quell the Prussian's wrath any further.

"Sehr gut. Now let's continue where we left off, shall we?"

Prussia attacked my mouth with vigor as he ran his hands all over body. I timidly kissed him back to prevent another outburst from the unreasonable man.

"Berühre mich. Hol mir einen runter." Prussia demanded between feverish kisses.

I did not want to touch Prussia in that way. I was never attracted to Prussia in this sense so I wasn't even the least bit turned on. But I knew to stop his actions now would have dire consequences.

_You could close your eyes and pretend he's Germany._

It was a shameful and degrading thing to do but my mind couldn't stop itself. I pictured Germany on top of me, touching me with loving caresses. I imagined Germany kissing me with such fiery passion that I thought I was going to melt from the desire. I thought of Germany's strong hands running through my hair and up my shirt.

I thought of Germany's broad chest as I ran my hands down his body. I imagined it was Germany's member I was stroking. I imagined it was his grunts of approval I heard in my ear, begging me to keep going. I imagined his blue eyes full of want and desire. His face beaming with love and adoration. His deep voice saying he loved me.

"Gottverdammte" Prussia said with a groan as he came in my hand.

Prussia was breathing heavily on shaky arms as he leaned down to give a chaste kiss on the lips before getting up to go to his closet.

I discreetly wiped my hand on his bed sheets as I got up to fix the ruffles in my uniform. Prussia quickly got dressed and was soon standing in his military outfit. He smoothed down in hair in the mirror before turning to face me.

"Gute let's get going."

* * *

"Das Tempo und rechts halten!" I ordered the troops as they ran the obstacle course.

It felt good to be giving orders; it was like I was a nation all over again. My chest filled with pride as the troops made great progress today. I was glad I could show off my leadership skills to mein little Italy as well. To prove to him how awesome I really am.

I looked over to find Italy trying to teach Japan proper Western military etiquette. My heart raced as I watched Italy from where I stood. The young man was everything I could have ever hoped for in a lover. Yes it is true, he does try my patience at times but I can forgive Feli for his discrepancies because I love him.

_I just wish he would stop constantly fretting over my brother; his thoughts should be solely on me. _

West should not be moping around the house like a sorry sad sack. He should be out here training his own troops, not locked away in his room somewhere.

West is going to have to get used to the idea of Italy and I being together sooner or later. His little temper tantrums aren't going to change anything. He needs to get over himself and figure out that losing Italy to me is not the end of the world. There are plenty of other fishes in the sea.

But I shouldn't need to worry much about it too much. West is a tough kid and will pick himself back up and move on with his life in no time. I'm sure of it.

"Schneller! Ich habe dir nicht gesagt zu verlangsamen!" I yelled to the troops as their pace began to slacken.

I looked back over to see if Italy was watching my awesome display of leadership, but he was no longer there with Japan.

_Where the hell did he go? I did not say he could leave yet! _

I stomped over to the small Japanese man to demand answer.

"Vhere is Italy? Training is not yet over." I asked; agitation clear in my gruff voice.

"He said he had to go use the restroom and that he would be back in a moment." Japan said with his thick oriental accent.

"Vell why did he not ask **me** for permission first?

Japan stiffened at my harsh tone before he answered.

"I was not aware he needed to ask you for permission, Prussia-san."

"Vell now you are. Continue on wis your training zen."

Japan bowed slightly before excusing himself and returning to his own training.

_That boy has got 2 minutes before I'm going in after him. _

I watched the troops hustle through the obstacle course while I tried to wait patiently for Italy's return.

* * *

**Yes things just seem to be getting worse and worse for Italy. Unfortunately for him it's only downhill from here. **

**Thanks again to those who have left a review, I love hearing what readers have to say. **

**Also if you find any mistranslations in the story, I apologize. I'm not fluent in Italian or German so all I have to work with is Google translate. **

**Until next time**

**mcpidy**

* * *

**Translations**:

**Italian**:

bella mattina – beautiful morning

Le mie scuse – my apologies

Molto buona – very good

Pronto – quick

per favore – please

Mi dispiace – I'm sorry

**German**:

Sehr gut – very good

Berühre mich. Hol mir einen runter – Touch me. Jack me off.

Gottverdammte – goddamn

Gute – good

Das Tempo und rechts halten – Pick up the pace and stay to the right

Schneller! Ich habe dir nicht gesagt zu verlangsamen! – Faster! I did not tell you to slow down!

**Japanese**:

Ohayōgozaimasu – Good morning


	5. Spite

**Chapter 5 – Spite**

* * *

I looked through the medicine cabinets trying to find the headache medicine for Germany. It was almost noon and Germany was still passed out in his room. I wanted him to get up so he could take over the troops for the rest of the day. Prussia was doing an excellent job but Germany was their real commander and he is the one that should be out there, not his older brother.

I finally located the bottle of headache medicine as I walked up the stairs to Germany's bedroom. _I just feel like telling Germany the truth right now and ending this messed up fiasco once and for all._ _I should just tell everyone the truth so we can all move on with our lives._

But Prussia's words the other night…

'_I very often have thoughts about suicide. I never saw much point in living since I was no longer considered a nation.'_

I stopped walking as I remembered Prussia's wretched words from that night. I could see the Prussian's face in my head, his eyes so full of shame and embarrassment at what he was confessing.

'_But then I read your letter and everything changed, I found a reason to live Italy.'_

My letter gave him a reason to live? So then what would happen if I told him the truth?

I shuddered as I quickly banished the thought from my mind. _No. I cannot allow that to happen. I still deeply care for Prussia as my friend, and I could never hurt him like that._

Then what am I to do? I hated lying to Prussia but if I told him the truth it would break his heart. But it's these lies that are hurting Germany as well. It's like there was no way out of this mess. I didn't know who I could turn to for help. I didn't want to tell anyone of my predicament and risk Prussia and Germany finding out the truth.

I gripped the bottle of aspirin as I continued on to Germany's bedroom door. I was about to knock when the door suddenly flew open, revealing a disheveled looking Germany. His hair was a mess as was his uniform, the bags under his eyes indicating he'd been out the whole night. Germany's face was one of sorrow for a moment before it was quickly masked with irritation.

"Vhat do you want Italy." Germany asked with disdain.

"I came up here to give you some aspirin; Japan said you weren't feeling so good." I said as I handed him the bottle.

Germany quickly snatched it from my hand and tore off the cap, dry swallowing half the bottle. He walked down the hallway before stopping and looking out one of the windows.

"Vhy are my troops here? I sent zem home for za day." He asked, rage and confusion slowly building around him.

"Well you were still in bed and I thought it would be good for your troops if they got some training done for today so I asked Prussia if he would…"

"YOU VHAT!"

Germany stomped over to where I was and grabbed me by the collar lifting me off the ground. I immediately froze in his grasp, too afraid to say or do anything.

"You mean to tell me you asked my Bruder to train **my** troops when I had already dismissed them for today?" Germany asked with an icy vehemence.

"I-I just t-thought your troops…"

"You deliberately went against one of my orders in favor of mein Bruder?"

"No! I was only thinking of…"

"DON'T LIE TO ME!"

I promptly shut up. Germany grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me down the stairs in a hurried fashion. I hissed as he clutched my already bruising wrists, the pain nearly bringing me to tears.

I was drug outside where Prussia was still commanding the troops. Germany growled as he caught sight of his brother and ushered both of us over to him.

"Vhat the hell is zis Bruder! These are not your troops to command! I order you cease your command and go back to your basement zis instant!" Germany yelled as Prussia turned his head to look at his enraged brother.

"Aww West, there you are. I vas wondering vhen you were gonna drag your sorry ass out of bed."

Germany released my arm and stood directly in front of Prussia, glaring down at him with intense hatred. Prussia surprisingly stood his ground. If it were anyone else in Prussia's place they would have ran for the hills by now. The two brothers stared each other off before Prussia let out his usual cackle and dismissed himself.

"Very well. Come along Italy; let's go have some breakfast together." Prussia said as he tugged on my uniform.

"I have not dismissed Italy, Bruder."

Prussia stopped and turned to glare at his little brother. He glanced at me for a moment before smirking at Germany.

"Fein, wie du willst kleine Bruder."

I then felt Prussia's large hands cupping my face as he pulled me in for a kiss. This kiss was not an innocent either; Prussia prolonged it by dipping his tongue into my mouth and prompting me to do the same.

We basically made out in front of Germany.

This was the worst thing that could have happened. I was making out with the brother of the man I loved right in front of him. Prussia only made matters worse when he ran one hand down my back to cup my butt and pull me flush against him.

_I think I'm going to throw up._

After what felt like an eternity of kissing the Prussian he finally let me go but not before giving me one last peck on the lips.

"I'll see you when you're done with training mein Italien." Prussia said as he walked back to the house.

I watched him leave, too afraid to turn around and look at Germany. I could only imagine what was going through his head at the moment. I could practically feel the bitter rage coming off the large German man.

"VHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT! GET BACK TO VERK!"

I whipped around to find Germany shouting at his troops who had stopped to watch us. The men jumped at Germany's booming voice and quickly returned to their training to avoid the German's wrath.

Germany quickly marched over to where I was standing and threw me to the ground with a loud 'thud'. My hands were able to catch myself in time from slamming my face into the dirt but the hard shove still hurt. I could see Germany's black boots directly in front of me as I lay on the ground and tried to recover from the shock of the hurtful action.

"Vone hundred push-ups Italy. Now." Germany said as he glared down at me with cold intimidation.

I slowly tried to begin my first push-up when Germany's boot harshly stomped on my left hand, crushing my fingers. I fell onto the ground again as I cried and struggled under Germany's boot, my fingers screaming in pain.

"With one hand Italy." Germany said as he lifted his boot off my bruised hand.

"But Germany I can't do one-handed push-ups." I complained as I clutched my throbbing hand to my chest.

Germany's lip turned up in a sneer as he brought his leg back and kicked me square in the gut. I felt all the air rush out of me as I struggled to breathe while holding onto my gut. Germany grabbed me by the hair and started to drag me over to one of his storage sheds across the field.

As we approached the shed Germany unlocked the door and roughly pushed me inside. This was the shed that stored all of the troops' food supply, which were potatoes. It was dark and musty inside, you could barely breathe from the lack of fresh air in the shed. I even noticed a couple of mice scampering across the floorboards.

"Since you refuse to follow any of my orders you can spend the rest of the day in here peeling potatoes." Germany said angrily as he stood in the doorway.

I looked around the shed; there must have been at least a hundred sacks of potatoes in here.

"You are not leaving zis shed until all of zem are peeled, do you understand? And if I come back to find that you've eaten any of them I vill break your jaw." And with that Germany closed and locked the door behind him.

The only light I had in the shed was a small window near the ceiling. Other than that I practically stumbled around in the dark. I tripped over one of the sacks and scraped my head on a crate. I shrieked when I felt some of the mice scamper across my arms. I quickly got up and tried to brush the mice germs off my uniform. I groaned as I looked around the shed again, there were so many sacks it would take all night just to peel half of them.

_What am I supposed to peel these all with? Germany didn't leave me with anything. _

I looked around the dark shed until I spotted something sitting on one of the crates. It was a small rusted potato peeler, the blade long since dulled. I picked it up and looked at the dozens of sacks of potatoes. I flexed my left hand to make sure none of the fingers were sprained and flinched at the intense pain.

_Well they're not broken but it's going to be painful to peel all of these potatoes with my fingers all bruised up._

I sat down on one of the crates and slowly started to peel my first potato. My left hand ached as I applied pressure on it, the fingers still red and swollen. It took much longer than it should have to peel just one potato.

When I was halfway done peeling my third one, I clutched my stomach where Germany had kicked me and began to cry.

* * *

I still couldn't believe it.

I thought I was seeing a horrible illusion when I saw Italy kiss my Bruder in front of me. And an open-mouthed kiss none the less.

I couldn't breathe as I watched my Bruder run his hand down Italy's back and grab his behind despicably. I was frozen on the spot as I watched Italy, mein Italien, French kiss my older brother with passion. I felt like I was going to vomit.

I continued to watch my troops as I remembered that horrible kiss from earlier. My Bruder is lucky, if I hadn't been so shocked at that moment I would have broken his front teeth. It didn't really surprise me that Prussia would do something like that, what did surprise me was that Italy returned the kiss.

My jaw clenched along with my fists as I remembered how flushed Italy looked in my Bruder's arms. How his hands bunched the front of my Bruder's uniform, holding on for dear life. How his lithe body pressed into my Bruder's, begging him for more. How his mouth opened, inviting my Bruder's tongue to explore his moist cavern.

I wanted to beat the shit out of both of them for that little stunt they pulled.

Italy was **my** friend first. He was the one that wanted to join **me** in the beginning. Italy was the one that always came back to **me** no matter how many times I sent him away. Italy was the one that wanted to be with **me** when we first met.

'_Come on Mr. Germany, you can be my friend can't you?'_

'_We'll be an alliance!'_

That was the day Italy and I officially became allies, or friends as Italy put it. I would never admit it to anyone but that was one of the happiest moments of my life. There was something about Italy that drew me to him, almost like I had met him someplace before. Although he annoyed me to no end I couldn't help but want to always be around him. I hated and loved his company at the same time.

But most of all I loved it. I loved listening to him prattle on about nothing. The way he always tried to stay optimistic even in dire situations. How that wunderschön smile always adorned his face. I even liked that he was not very strong.

I liked that he always ran to me for help, knowing that I was there for him. I liked that he looked to me to save him from danger. I liked rescuing him from trouble just so I could listen to him praise me afterwards. I liked that he depended on me because it made me feel like he needed me. That he would have to always be with me.

_But I guess he doesn't need you now, does he Bruder?_

Prussia's mocking voice rang in my head as I felt my anger come to a boil. I hated that Italy chose my Bruder over me. Wasn't Italy the one that wanted to be with me in the first place? He was always clinging to me, always doing friendly things with me. Did all of that mean nothing? Was all of that just a game to Italy?

_Or was he just using me so he could get close to Prussia?_

"Germany sir?"

I was snapped out of my thoughts as I looked over to find one of my senior officers, his back straightened and his right arm saluting me.

"Vhat is it soldier?" I asked tiredly.

"May we be dismissed for today sir? It is getting close to lights out."

I hadn't realized how late in the day it had gotten. My soldiers looked exhausted as well, having been running most of the day.

"Ja you are all dismissed."

"Danke schön sir!" The senior officer thanked me before walking back to the rest of the soldiers. The troops saluted me in perfect unison before marching back to the barracks.

I was exhausted myself, and still a bit hung-over. I rubbed my temples to try and alleviate my pounding headache as I let out an exasperated sigh. I was tired mentally and physically and just wanted to sleep. I started walking back towards the house when I remembered that Italy was still in the potato shed.

"I suppose I should go let him out…" I said to myself as I turned around.

_Why? So he can go spend another night with Prussia down in the basement, doing god knows what? Because you know as soon as you let him out of there he's going to go running to Prussia. I mean it's not like he will run to you anymore, now that he has your brother…_

"Gottverdammt!"

I shouted and punched the side of a nearby tree, making a large dent in the bark. Italy can spend the night in there. If he wants to carelessly trample my heart and play with my emotions then this is what he deserves! I will not allow Italy to continuously break my heart like this; he's got to learn that those actions have consequences.

I walked up to my house and into the kitchen to find my Bruder raiding the fridge.

"Vhere is Italy kleinen Bruder?" Prussia asked as he grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"He left earlier to spend za night at Spain's place with Romano. He said he'd be back in za morning." I told my Bruder as I grabbed myself a beer as well.

"Italy didn't tell me he was leaving to go to Spain's."

"Maybe he didn't want to tell you Bruder. Did zat thought ever cross your mind?"

Prussia narrowed his eyes at my implication as he took another swig of his beer. The thought had obviously upset him. _Gute._

"Gute Nacht West." Prussia said as he made his decent down the basement, shoulders stiff with agitation.

"Gute Nacht Bruder."

* * *

**Poor Germany, he has no idea that Italy was actually appalled by Prussia's kiss. **

**I'm really glad you're all enjoying the story. I do have a question though, mainly out of curiosity. If you could pick, who would you want Italy to end up with? Germany? Prussia? Both? Or maybe neither? **

**This isn't a vote for the story, I'm just curious is all. **

**Until next time**

**mcpidy **

* * *

**Translations**:

**German**:

Fein, wie du willst kleine Bruder – Fine, have it your way little brother

Wunderschön – Beautiful

Danke schön – Thank you

kleinen Bruder – little brother

Gute Nacht – Goodnight


	6. Torn

**Chapter 6 – Torn**

**Thanks for all the reviews everybody. **

**It was interesting to read your answers from the question I asked in the last chapter. It wasn't a huge surprise to find that nobody said Italy should be with Prussia; he is kind of a dick in this story. But then again so is Germany and he got a lot of the votes. **

**Now I did notice a few of you said neither should be with Italy and I really liked the reasons behind them. They spoke very true to the story. **

**I also noticed some of you gave some suggestions on how the story should end. I really liked the different scenarios that some of you thought up. Having Italy end up with Japan certainly would be interesting, but I can't say how this story will end.**

**Anyways thanks again and enjoy the new chapter. **

* * *

I woke up the next morning painstakingly stiff from falling asleep on the floorboards. My clothes were still stuck to me from how muggy it was in the shed. There was no ventilation in here so my body became slick with perspiration within an hour of being stuck in here. I wiped a bead of sweat off my brow and licked my chapped lips, I was so thirsty.

As well as being almost dehydrated, the palms of my hands were covered in blisters. Using that old peeler for hours on end caused my hands to be riddled with sores. I hissed as I touched my fingers to the blisters on my palm, a trickle of blood ran down from one of them. I sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time this morning as I stared at the door, waiting to be let out.

_I hope Germany didn't forget that I'm still in here._

I pounded on the door for hours last night, hoping someone would hear my pleas and take pity on me. Either no one heard me or no one cared to check. I spent the rest of the night peeling potatoes until my hands were too blistered to peel any more. I was only able to peel about a fourth of the potatoes in the shed, there was just too many for one person to do.

So I just sat and waited. Being in here had me thinking of Germany and how he treated me yesterday. I knew the German was stern and had a bit of a temper but I never thought in a millions years that Germany would kick me like a dog. Germany always tried to be tolerant with me and never shout in anger, but yesterday he threw me to the ground, stomped on my hand and kicked me right in the stomach. It's like Germany was a completely different person, not the Germany I knew.

_The Germany I loved. _

I knew right now Germany hated me, but for what reason exactly, I didn't know. I had been trying to think of a rational reason why Germany would be so angry at me, enough to cause me physical pain. Was Germany mad that I was seeing his brother? Was he mad that he had to find out via letter? That I kept it a secret from him?

_He couldn't possibly be jealous…._

Could he?

It was then that I heard the rustling of a lock as Germany flung open the door. The German sounded out of breath; as if he ran all the way down here. I couldn't see his face because of the sunlight casting him in a shadow but I could have sworn I heard him breathe a sigh of relief.

"Let's go Italy." I heard Germany say when he finally caught his breath.

I slowly got myself up and cracked my back, stretching my arms as I did so. My joints were killing me from sleeping in such an awkward place for the night; I couldn't wait to get back to my own bed. I shambled my way out the door and followed Germany back up to the house. We both walked in an uncomfortable silence before Germany slowed his pace and spoke up.

"If Prussia asks vhere you were, you will tell him you were at Spain's visiting your Bruder. Got it?" Germany asked as he turned to give me a hard look.

"I don't want to lie to Prussia, Germany."

Germany stopped walking, his hands balled into fists and shaking slightly.

"You are going to tell him what I told you Italy. Or do you want me to throw you back in that shed again!" Germany threatened as he turned his body to face me directly.

I flinched as Germany took an intimidating step towards me, his blue eyes on the brink of fury.

"N-no, Germany."

"Gute."

I hated the way Germany was treating me. It hurt to have him threaten and yell at me for things that weren't my fault. I didn't want to lose my friendship with Germany but I'm starting to feel like it's already lost. I still loved Germany dearly but it was getting hard to hold onto that love when he was treating me like dirt.

I walked into the kitchen behind Germany to find Prussia sitting at the table, looking irritable and drumming his fingers on the counter. When his eyes came upon me they narrowed before he stood up and walked over to me.

"Vhere have you been Italy? And vhy are your clothes covered in sweat?" Prussia asked as he pinched my clothes between his fingers.

I noticed Germany give me a warning look before I answered.

"I was at Spain's house. And my clothes are sweaty because I was working in the kitchen with Romano before I left this morning." I said nervously as the two German's were both giving me harsh looks.

"Very well, come now Italy." Prussia said as he grabbed my arm and tugged me alongside him. I was dragged down into the basement and into the Prussian's spotless room.

"Ve~ Gilbert, I'm very tired right now so would it be alright if I…"

I wasn't given a chance to finish my sentence as Prussia grabbed my arms and slammed me into the wall, knocking the air out of me.

"Vhen did I say you could just take off and leave me like zat? Do you think you can just do vhatever the hell you vant without telling me first? AND LOOK AT ME VHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Prussia screamed; grabbing my face with one hand and forcing me to look him in the eyes.

Prussia's insane crimson eyes bored into my own terrified amber ones. His pale hand tightened on my face as I cowered in his grasp, too afraid to utter a single word. His teeth bared up in a snarl as he drew back his hand and cracked me in the jaw. I would have flown into the ground if he hadn't kept his strong hold on my other arm.

I tasted blood in my mouth as my head swirled from the punch. The room swayed and became fuzzy as I tried my best to focus on standing upright. I just wanted to curl up and cry. I was tired of being hit and pushed around that I briefly considered leaving the Axis for good and running home to Northern Italy where I could be safe.

_Germany…please help…come save me!_

But Germany wasn't here to save me, not anymore anyways. Even if I did yell for him, would he come to help? Or would he tell me this is what I get for loving his brother? Would Germany even care that I was constantly being hurt and tormented by the Prussian? Or would he just hit me too for crying out to him?

_But we're supposed to be best friends forever…..and friends are supposed to care for each other even in hard times…._

I guess Germany lied.

"I asked you a question Italien!" Prussia yelled as he picked me up and slammed my back into the wall again.

"W-w-wha-at?" I said through chattering teeth.

"Vhy did you leave without telling me? Huh! I vhant an answer!"

"I d-don't know! I didn't t-think you b-be so ups-set."

"You didn't think I'd be upset! Do you even use that dummkopf brain of yours!"

Tears began to swell in my eyes as Prussia became an angry distortion in front of me.

"Please Gilbert, I w-wasn't thinking!"

"So you just left without any consideration of how I might have felt with you ditching me! Is zat it! Du dumme schlampe!"

"I'm sorry! I'm s-sorry!"

Prussia stopped his livid tirade and gazed at me silently as I broke down and cried in is grasp. I bawled my eyes out as my body shook terribly from the wretched sobs. Prussia released his iron hold on my arms after a moment and pulled me to his strong chest, rubbing my back soothingly. I cried and held onto his dress-shirt as my emotions got the best of me. Prussia continued to hold onto me as he stoked my hair and whispered for me to 'hush'.

"Don't cry Ita-chan. I'm sorry that I hit you, so please stop crying. I don't like seeing you like this." Prussia whispered soothingly as he held me tight in his arms.

"Now I don't like hitting you Italy…"

Prussia took my face in his hands as he looked me square in the eye.

"But sometimes you don't leave me any choice. Do you understand? I only do this because I love you Feli." Prussia said lovingly as he lightly kissed my forehead.

He pulled me back into another hug as he kissed the top of my head repeatedly. I let out shaky sobs as I tried to calm back down. The tears still ran down my cheeks but I stopped my insistent bawling, for the moment at least. I could still feel the sharp sting from where Prussia had cracked me and I wondered if it would leave a bad bruise.

"You love me too, right Italy?" Prussia whispered into my ear, a slight edge to his voice.

"Of course G-gilbert." I said while slightly shaking in his arms.

Prussia smiled and gave me an avid kiss on the lips. I timidly returned the kiss, hoping the ordeal was over and that I could finally go back to my room and pass out.

"Uhh Gilbert, I'd like t-to go up to my room now and c-change into a new pair of clothes so…"

"Don't worry about that Italien; I already moved all of your stuff down here with me." Prussia said as he walked over to the closet and opened the sliding doors. All of the belongings from my old room were sitting there, neatly organized and separated from Prussia's things in the closet.

"Since ve are already seeing each other it only makes sense that ve live in the same room ja?"

"S-si." I mumbled; a familiar sense of oppression washing over me as I stared into the impeccable closet.

"Gute, now vhy don't you go take a quick shower? Ze bathroom's over there and towels are on ze hanger. And then afterwards you can lay in bed with me for a vhile, you look quite tired Italien." The Prussian said sympathetically as he stroked my face with his thumbs.

I forced a fake smile before quickly walking into the bathroom and closing the door. I listened from the other side of the door, to see if Prussia would leave or stay in the room. I heard the bedsprings squeak as the Prussian laid back down on the bed. I frowned and ran a shaking hand through my greasy hair, hissing as my blisters screamed from the action. I turned on the shower to let Prussia know I was following his orders and fell back against the bathroom wall.

I slid down to the tiled floor and brought my shaking knees up to my chest. I let the sound of running water drown out my sobs as I tried to hold myself together.

* * *

I sat on my bed, staring emotionlessly at the floor while I took another long swig of my bottle of Steinhaeger. I hadn't slept so well again, having been kept up with my thoughts of Italy and Bruder. I hated that Italy was with him but I also hated myself for the way I was acting. I didn't like to see Italy cower in fear of me, that isn't what I wanted at all.

And yet I tormented him yesterday, all because I was jealous and hurt. It crushed me to see Italy with my Bruder and the fact that Italy wanted Prussia all along. I felt like Italy betrayed me for wanting to be with mein Bruder instead of me. I always thought that Italy's friendly gestures toward me were signs that he wanted me like I wanted him. I had hoped that one day Italy would tell me the reason he was so kind to me all this time was because he loved me.

_But I guess that was all bullshit._

Italy should be with me, not my fucking Bruder. Why would Italy want a retired nation that lived in a damn basement when he's got me? I'm the powerful nation of Germany. I'm strong and hardworking with years of military experience. I have some of the most powerful soldiers in Europe and what does Prussia have? Nothing but memories of his days as a nation.

_It's almost insulting that Italy would choose Prussia over me. _

Why wouldn't Italy want to be with me? The young Italian seemed to crave my company like an addiction when we first met. Always following me around and trying to start conversations. So why would he not want me?

I have always been patient with him, never wanting to hurt his feelings. I always dropped whatever I was doing to help Italy out whenever he needed me. I have always protected him from enemies, never allowing anyone to hurt him. So why? Why did Italy not give that letter to me? It was rightfully mine!

_It's funny when you say you'd never allow anyone to hurt him and yet you kicked him in the gut yesterday..._

"Zat wasn't my fault."

_Was it because you thought he deserved it?_

"Yes...no...verdammt I don't know!"

_Do you want the little Italian to be all yours and no one else's? _

"Shut up."

_Do you think that Italy belongs to you? Because he promised to be __**your**__ best friend forever?_

"That's not it at all..."

_Are you upset that your brother took away what was rightfully yours?_

"Halt deine fresse!"

_And are you mad at Italy for thinking he could have anyone else but you?_

"_No zats not true!"_

_I wonder what Italy and Prussia are doing down in the basement right at this moment…_

"Gottverdammte sheisse!" I shouted as I violently threw my bottle onto the ground, shattering it into pieces. I got off the bed and began to pace my room back and forth, running my hands through my messy blonde hair. I just wanted things back the way they used to be. I didn't want to hurt Italy anymore or make him afraid of me.

"Italy's my friend..."

_Is that why you hit him?_

"No I didn't mean to!"

_So you didn't mean to kick him in the stomach, crush his hand or lock him in a sweltering shed all night?_

"I didn't mean to hurt him like that, I was just angry..."

_So that makes it ok?_

"SHUT UP!"

I punched the wall, putting my large fist through the drywall. My chest heaved with anger as I rested my forehead against the wall and tried to calm down. I wanted Italy to be with me, not Prussia. But is that why I hurt him yesterday? I was in such a rage that I couldn't control my thoughts or actions. I remember wanting to punish Italy for hurting me like he did. I knew locking him in that shed was very severe but at the time I only wanted him to suffer and learn a lesson.

When I came back here I instantly regretted it. I didn't want Italy to end up hating me because I couldn't control my temper. I wanted him to love me like I loved him.

_But that's never going to happen now is it Ludwig?_

I hung my head and choked back another sob as I sat down on the bed. I hated this feeling. I hated being away from Italy. I hated the aching sensation I got in my heart whenever I saw Italy with Prussia. I just wanted to drown it all out.

I walked back over to my liquor cabinet and cracked open another bottle of Steinhaeger.

* * *

I held Italy closer to my chest as he slept in our bed. The poor Italian was completely exhausted when he came to bed, passing out as soon as laid down next to me. I don't think I want him going over to Spain's anymore, not if Spain is going to be so careless as to spill hot water on my Ita-chan. My little Italien had to wrap his hands up from the blisters on his palms.

I watched him sleep as I studied his face; so young and innocent. I lightly brushed my fingers against the bruise on his jaw; it was probably going to look worse later today.

"I'm sorry Italy." I whispered to him as I stroked his hair and watched him mumble in his sleep.

You'd think the little Italian would learn by now so I wouldn't have to keep correcting him. It was never my intention to bring the poor boy to tears but I can't allow myself to coddle him when he continues to make mistakes. As his partner, it's my job to look out for him and keep his best interests in mind. If I let him do whatever the hell he wants I might lose him, and I will never allow that to happen.

Italy is far too precious to me and I can't risk losing him. I lived a long time and I've seen it happen to other couples. One person in the relationship gets too careless and let's their partner run wild, doing whatever they please without any thought of consequence. And not long after their wayward partner decides they want someone else, someone new and fresh. And they leave just like that.

I refuse to let that happen to me and Italy. Mein Italien just needs to learn his place and know that his place is to stay by my side and not wander off. I know Italy can be a bit careless at times so it might take longer for Italy to understand he can never leave me. But that is perfectly fine; I have all the time in the world to teach Italy that lesson. He will learn it eventually; I'll make sure of it.

I do love him after all.

* * *

**Looks like Germany's hitting the bottle again. And no, he's not going crazy; he's just VERY stressed, aggravated and confused right now. So he's just sorta talking/arguing with himself. **

**I wonder what Japan would think of this whole ordeal? He hasn't found out yet but he will here pretty soon, and he'll notice something isn't right. **

**Thanks for reviewing and if you happen to change your mind on who Italy should be with let me know, and tell me your reasons why. **

**Until next time**

**mcpidy**

* * *

**Translations**:

**German**:

Du dumme schlampe – you stupid bitch

Halt deine fresse – shut up

Gottverdammte Sheisse – goddamn shit


	7. A walk in the park

**Chapter 7 – A walk in the park**

**Thanks again to everyone that has reviewed. I hope you like the new chapter.**

* * *

I woke up a few hours later, still hazy from the recent events that transpired this morning. I was confused by the unyielding grip that was wrapped around me as I opened my blearily eyes to investigate further. My face was pressed against a strong chest while the steady rhythm of breathing told me the person was fast asleep. I looked up from the black shirt to find Prussia's sleeping face, his mouth ajar and drool at the corner of his lips.

If I wasn't so terrified of the Prussian's presence I would have laughed at the comic look on his serious face. Seeing him like this made me miss the old Prussia, back before this whole mess started. I missed the days when we were just good friends that liked to hang out with each other. Prussia was always so fun to mess around with; we had so much fun together back then. I remember sometimes when I skipped out on training Prussia would lie for me so we could to play card games together.

_I miss those days._

A loud yawn snapped me out of my thoughts as Prussia stretched his legs and ran a hand through his ashen hair.

"Guten morgen Italien. Vhat time is it?" Prussia mumbled into his pillow, eyes still closed.

I looked around the room for a clock until I spotted a bird shaped one on the wall.

"It's 11:45 a.m."

Prussia stretched his legs before opening his tired eyes and looking at me. I was suddenly filled with dread as I briefly wondered if Prussia wanted me to touch him again like last time. _I really hope he doesn't._

Instead the old nation rolled over to give me a quick kiss before sitting up on the bed.

"How vould you like to go into town vith me today Ita-chan? It'll be a date, just ze two of us." Prussia asked as walked over to his closet and started to remove his clothes. I blushed and looked away to give him some privacy as I sputtered out my answer.

"S-si that sounds molto bello Gilbert."

It actually did sound rather nice; it had been a while since I went into town and I missed going to the park. I used to go all the time with Germany but I don't see that happening again in the immediate future.

"Vunderbar, I'll just be a few minutes so I can take a quick shower." Prussia said as he removed the last bit of his clothing and neatly put them in the laundry hamper.

I meanwhile was blushing beat red and trying hard not to look at his manhood. Instead I kept my eyes on the floor as I walked across the room to go upstairs. I was just about to the door when I felt Prussia's arms wrap around me from behind.

"Vhat's vith that red face Ita-chan? Are you embarrassed to see a naked man?" Prussia asked mockingly, his lips grazing my ear.

Yes, I was embarrassed. I have never been this intimate with a person before and I always imagined my first time doing these kinds of things would be with Germany. I never imagined my first time would be with Prussia of all people. I felt my face redden even further when I felt Prussia's erection poking me in the back.

"You should get used to seeing me naked Italien. Because you vill be seeing more it, I assure you." Prussia said as he turned me around to face him. I kept my eyes on his face, refusing to look down at his naked body.

Prussia smirked before grabbing my chin and forcing me to look down at his nether regions.

"Go on; don't be shy Ita-chan take a good look at it. Impressive ja?" Prussia said with pride as he used his other hand to give himself a few good strokes.

Prussia was indeed a large man. His manhood had remarkable length and girth; it was almost scary to look at. _But then again the male anatomy has never been a pleasant thing to look at._

Prussia let go of my chin as he started to unbutton my shirt while staring at me with lusty eyes.

"How about I help you get used to my body, mein Italien. Care to join me in ze shower?" Prussia asked as he began to kiss the exposed skin from under my shirt. I shivered from the Prussian's touch as I tried to think of a way to change his mind.

"But Gilbert I already took a shower this morning." I whined as my breathing became unsteady.

"You can take anothza one." The look in his eyes told me this discussion was not up for debate.

Prussia continued to unbuttoned the rest of my shirt when he stopped and gasped at my stomach.

"Vhat happened to your stomach Italy?" Prussia asked worriedly as he looked at the giant bruise where Germany had kicked me yesterday.

"I…fell down during training the other day." I lied as I looked away from Prussia's troubled gaze. I didn't want a fight to break out between Germany and Prussia so I made up another lie to cover up the truth.

Prussia lightly touched the dark bruise on my stomach which caused me to hiss from the action, the bruise was still very tender.

"I'm sorry." Prussia said as he quickly buttoned my shirt back up.

"You can vait for me upstairs Italien; I'll only be a few minutes." Prussia smiled warmly before kissing me on the cheek and walking over to the bathroom. I quickly opened the door and hurried upstairs before the Prussian decided to change his mind. Walking upstairs I could the clatter of items being tossed around in the kitchen; it sounded like someone was looking for something.

Making my way into the kitchen I was met with a disheveled looking Germany searching through all the cupboards. Germany seemed to be a bit wobbly on his feet as he tore through the kitchen, mumbling things in German.

_Is he drunk?_

Germany had his back to me and was not aware of my presence as I stood and watched him from the doorway. I decided to let my presence be known and do my best to try and be civil with my old friend.

"B-buongiorno Germany." I said with a timid smile as I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

Germany abruptly stopped what he was doing and turned around to glower at me. His only response to my greeting was to give a harsh grunt and resume what he was doing. The smile slowly fell from my face as I looked back down at the table and began to twiddle my fingers. I wanted to ask what he was looking for but thought better against it.

Eventually I heard him stop his search as he stumbled back to the table and sat down with a loud thud. I watched Germany open a bottle of hard liquor that Prussia kept stored away and take a long swig. _That's what he was looking for this whole time? Liquor? But it's morning time, why is he getting drunk?_

Germany swallowed about a fourth of the bottle before setting it on the table with an audible bang. He used the back of his hand to wipe away some of the booze that dribbled down his chin and glowered at the table. Germany looked worse than he did yesterday when I went to wake him up. He looked like he hadn't slept a wink and his clothes were still the same from yesterday as well. Since I've known Germany, I've never seen him to look so shabby and unhygienic. Being the clean freak that he was; Germany always made sure he looked presentable at all times, no matter what he was doing.

_He even looks like a completely different person. _

Germany shifted his dazed blue eyes up to me as he stared at me from across the table. His face had a hardened expression before it softened for a moment and he cleared his throat to speak.

"Vhat happened to your face Italy?" Germany asked as he gazed at the shiner on my jaw.

His speech was a little slurred from all the drinking so I had trouble understanding exactly what he said, but I got the gist of it.

"I tripped going down the stairs this morning and cracked my jaw on one of the steps." I said sadly as I rubbed the bruise on my jaw with my hand. I hated lying like this, papa Rome always taught me never to lie to anyone. He'd be so disappointed in me right now.

Germany stared at me for another minute before getting up and stumbling over to the fridge. I closed my eyes and continued to rub the sore spot on my jaw so as to try and alleviate some of the pain that was still there. I jumped when I felt something cold touch my cheek, opening my eyes I found Germany pressing an icepack to my face.

Germany was looking down at me with a mixture of sadness and confusion, his face contorted from the onslaught of emotions he was going through.

"You...need to be more careful Italy." Germany said slowly as he held the icepack to my face. I stared up at him with an aching need in my heart. I wanted to reach up and put my hand over his, to tell him how I really felt. To tell him how much he really meant to me. I wanted to tell him I loved him.

But I was afraid to at the same time. The memories of yesterday came rushing back to me as I tried to block them out. Of Germany yelling at me, kicking me in the gut and stomping on my hand. Of him threatening to break my jaw if I went against his orders and then locking me in a sweltering shed all night. I remembered how terrified I had been of him at that time.

I was torn between my love for Germany...

...and my fear of him.

Germany took in a large breath then and tightened his hold on the icepack. He looked as though he were about to say something when Prussia came up the stairs.

"Ready to go Italien?" Prussia asked eagerly as he walked into the kitchen. He stopped when he spotted the position Germany and I were in. He narrowed his eyes before stomping over and taking the icepack from Germany's hand.

"I can take care of mein own lover Vest so mind your own business!" Prussia yelled at his brother as he pulled me to my feet and threw the icepack in the sink. Prussia put his arm around my waist as we walked out of the kitchen but not before stopping so he could turn to his brother once more.

"And for Christ sake West! It's not even noon and you're already drunk. You're going to get shit-faced by this afternoon if you keep drinking zat shit. Vhy don't you do something a bit more useful vith your time, huh?" And with that said Prussia walked out of the kitchen with me by the waist. I caught one last look at Germany before we went out the door and I really wished I hadn't.

The look in his eyes screamed one thing:

Kill.

* * *

Prussia and I walked down the city streets as he pointed out his favorite spots and historic landmarks of Germany. He brought my all over town as we walked hand and hand like a couple of lovebirds. I felt that familiar sense of pity rise up in me again as I watched Prussia yammer on about his favorite eating places and how awesome they were. I could tell he'd been waiting for years to be able to visit these places with someone rather than by himself.

Every so often he'd look over at me with such happiness in his eyes that it was hard to keep myself from frowning in shame of myself. I hated that I was being so deceitful to Prussia, no one deserved to be lied to on a regular basis. Especially when they were deluded into thinking that somebody loved them. Even though Prussia had caused me so much harm in our time together, it just wasn't in my nature to hold resentment against someone. That was more of my brother's thing.

I couldn't hate Prussia no matter how much I tried; I just couldn't bear to hold any hostility in my heart. Especially to someone whom I had been such good friends with over the years.

But knowing how lonely Prussia had been before he read my letter had me thinking if he even truly loved me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if he just jumped at the first chance of love he got. _There must have been someone before me that Prussia actually had feelings for, but I'm too afraid to ask._

Prussia and I soon came upon an ice-cream vender on our sidewalk. Prussia giddily tugged me over to the vender while telling me all of his favorite flavors with child-like enthusiasm. Prussia ordered us both our cones and tugged me along to the park where we could sit and eat them.

"Za park really is ze best place to eat ice-cream if you ask me. And I know ze perfect bench vhere we can sit! It has ze best view of the garden and you can even see the watchtower from there, it's beautiful." Prussia said blissfully as we made our way across the park. We walked until we reached the spot Prussia had been talking about and sat down on the bench. I had to hand it to him, the spot was perfect. We were secluded right in the shade of the trees with a wonderful view of the garden and the town's watchtower.

I was actually very familiar with this particular park; Germany and I used to play football here all the time. I felt a smile dawn my face as I remembered the first time Germany and I had played football here. I was surprised to find out that the German man had never actually 'played' before and I was eager to get him to try.

_I can remember that day perfectly, it's one of my most cherished memories….._

**_XxxxxxxX_**

"_Come on Germany! Let's go play football today!" I said excitedly as I ran up behind the German. _

_It had been a pretty slow day for everyone. Not much was going on at the time so the Axis basically had the day off that afternoon. Germany spent most of the day going over battle strategies and organizing his troops. He had been working hard all day and I thought he could use some time off to have some fun. _

"_I don't have time to lollygag around like you Italy; I have more important matters to attend to." Germany said sternly as he looked through his strategy book. Germany had been looking in that same book for the past two hours without even so much as a pasta break. Knowing this I was determined to get him to put down that book and play some football. _

_It was then that I remembered a little trick I learned from big-brother Spain when he wanted to get Romano to do something. I think he called it reverse-psychology. _

"_Well if you think you can't handle playing a bit of football today Germany that's ok. It's nothing to be embarrassed about and I understand if you don't have the energy to keep up with me." I said sweetly while kicking the ball back and forth on my knees with my back to Germany. _

_I could almost hear the German grinding his teeth from frustration as he gripped the book tighter in his hands. I could tell he was debating in his mind whether he should just ignore me or give into his pride and play some football with me. A moment later I heard him slam the book shut and turn around to march in front of me. _

"_Fine! I vill play some stupid football vith you!" Germany said loudly as he finally gave in to my request._

"_Yay! I know the perfect spot where we can play too, come on!" I yelled excitedly as I grabbed onto his hand and led him to the park. I didn't know at the time but Germany had been blushing the whole way to the park as we held hands. Even though he must have been incredibly embarrassed he never once let go of my hand as we walked to the park. _

"_So have you ever played before Germany?"_

"_Played? You mean compete? Yes I have." _

"_No I mean just played, like for fun!"_

"_Fun? I don't have time for fun. Zat is for sissy's that don't know how to contend."_

"_You mean you've never had fun before Germany?"_

"_Nein! It is unnecessary!" _

"_But you'll like it! Here watch me." _

_I rolled the ball onto the top of my foot before tossing it in the air and kicking it on my knees. I kicked it up and into my head as I used my chest to catch it and bounce it back onto my knees again. I repeated this action, laughing all the while until I looked at Germany and passed the ball over to him. _

_Germany, in all his seriousness, quickly intercepted the action and kicked the ball as I hard as he could back to me. The ball whizzed past my head at an alarming rate before it flew through the park and into the next town. I turned around to see the damage done to the park by Germany's intense kick; the ball had put a hole through one of the poor trees. _

"_Uhh it's ok; I think I have some spare balls with me." _

_I brought back another ball as I tried to get Germany to loosen up and not take the game so seriously. It was a lot harder than I thought; the German was determined to turn the game into a competition. After a few more tries of trying to get Germany to tone down his kick he eventually got the hang of it and loosened up a bit. _

"_How about we play a quick game now Germany? It'll be fun!" I said as I ran to the middle of the field and dropped the ball to my feet. Germany straitened his back and walked into the middle of park as well, all the while tightening his gloves. _

"_Ser gut. As my opponent I vill show you no mercy!" Germany said with fortitude as he towered in front of me. I was a little intimidated to play against Germany, considering how strong he was and his well-known ruthlessness in battle._

"_J-just remember that it's not the point of the game to maim your opponent Germany." I said as I recalled the kick that nearly took my head off earlier._

"_I vill make no promises." _

_I almost felt like chickening out right then and calling it a day but I was keen on having fun with Germany, even if it meant losing my head. _

"_Ok ready? On the count of three." I got into position as I placed the ball in front of us and took a step back, Germany doing the same._

"_uno" _

_I bent my knees and got ready to sprint for the ball._

"_due" _

_Germany looked like a bull ready to charge. _

"_tre!" _

_My quick sprint must have caught Germany off guard because I was able to take the ball with ease and make it down the field. I heard Germany curse and try to catch up to me as I kicked the ball down the park. I heard Germany come up behind me but he was too late as I brought my leg back and kicked the ball between the trees we agreed to use as goal posts. _

"_Yay! Score one for Italy!" I ran around with my hands in the air as I laughed merrily. Germany on the other hand was in utter disbelief before he ran back to retrieve the ball and came up in front of me, his blue eyes full of resolve. _

"_You may have won this round Italien but I will come out of this on top! I vill not be defeated!" Germany said with his hands clenched and his chest puffed out in manly fashion. _

"_Good for you Germany! Are you having fun yet?" _

"_Nein!"_

"_Then we'll have to keep trying!"_

_Germany and I played for what felt like hours, running back and forth, trying to kick the ball to victory. Germany, no surprise, played better than a professional football player. His only weakness was in his lack of gracefulness. Germany was all muscle and steel which caused his movements to be more stiff. He had the kick of a ram but was as nimble as a cow. Because of that I was able to steal the ball from him on many occasions, being swift and agile myself. This irked Germany to no end and I found myself laughing at his frustration of having the ball stolen from him. _

_It was the most fun I ever had playing football. _

_By the end of our playful game the score was all tied up. I was a bit out of breath from playing so hard while Germany looked like he hadn't even broken a sweat. I smiled at the strong determination to win that shined in his icy eyes. Germany looked his best when he had that look on his face, it was marvelous. _

"_Ready Germany? Looks like I might beat you!" I said with my brightest smile. I was having so much fun. _

"_Zis game is not over yet Italien." Germany said with the faintest of smirks on his lips. _

_I grinned as I put my leg behind me and got ready for the last round. On the count of three we both ran for the ball, with me slightly ahead of Germany. I was able to maneuver past him but the German was right on my tail as I ran across the field. He was somehow able to side-sweep me and steal the ball as we both tried to take the ball from one another. I was almost able to kick the ball over to my field goal when Germany kicked the ball into the air and went for a running kick. He was able to kick the ball clear across the field and into his own field goal. _

_I stood there, amazed at the power behind the kick and the man who delivered it. _

_Germany stood tall and proud as he smiled at his handiwork. "I vin." The proud German said as he turned around to face me. _

_I smiled and ran up to hug him, throwing my lithe arms around his muscled waist. Germany immediately blushed and looked down at me with confusion and irritation clear on his handsome face. _

"_Yes you did! Great job Germany! You're a pretty good football player, almost as good as me!" _

"_Vhat do you mean almost? Did you forget that I'm za victor here?"_

"_Of course not, but you're still not as good as me. Did you have fun today?" I asked brightly as I looked up at him with shining amber eyes. _

_Germany blushed even more and continued to look embarrassed as he turned his head away and thought for a moment. _

"_I'm not sure...I've never had fun before...but I think I did today. It was...kind of nice actually." Germany said with a small smile as he looked back down at me. _

_I bathed in the warmth of his smile as I put it to memory; it was rare to see Germany smile so I made it my mission to memorize it whenever I happened to see it. _

"_I'm glad."_

**_XxxxxxxX_**

Prussia and I finished up the rest of our ice-cream cones as we walked back into town. We came across a certain part of town that had little knick-knack shops up and down the street. I looked through the windows and gazed at the little ornaments that sat in the windowsills, they were all so cute. I didn't think German's were capable of making such charming little ornaments and such. Prussia told me all about the shop owners on this street. He talked all about the ones he liked and the ones he thought were total 'pricks' as the Prussian so rudely put it.

We were both so enamored with our window shopping that we didn't notice the small Japanese man approach us on the sidewalk.

"Herro Itaria-san, Prussia-san. How are you two today?" Japan asked with a curt bow. I noticed after Japan bowed to us his eyes lingered on our linked hands for a moment. _That's right; Japan doesn't know about the little incident the happened back at the house. He doesn't even know that Prussia and I are technically dating._

"Italy and I are on a date, which is going awesome by the way. Right Ita-chan?" Prussia turned to ask me as his grip on my hand tightened slightly.

It was hard not to catch the threat in that tiny gesture.

"Si! It's going magnifico!" I said with forced enthusiasm.

Japan didn't say anything as he glanced at Prussia and then back to me. His gaze lingered on the bruise below my jaw as his brown eyes narrowed slightly. I couldn't tell what the man was thinking since Japan had one of the best poker faces out of all the nations but I could tell he was upset by something.

"Yoshi, I will see you two back at the house then." Japan said curtly as he walked past us but not before sparing one more anxious glance in my direction.

_Does he know what's going on between me and Prussia?_

"Come on Italy let's head down this way, these shops have some really neat stuff." Prussia pointed to the other side of the street as he drug me along by the wrist.

I heard Prussia chatter on about something but I wasn't listening. My mind was too focused on the worried look my friend gave me before he left. I didn't want Japan to get involved in this disaster; it was bad enough that Germany was involved. I didn't want my other good friend to get hurt from this mess as well.

_And knowing Japan, if he sees someone harming one of his friends he won't hesitate to step in and stop it. _

I was grateful and worried at the same time.

* * *

**Whew, I didn't expect this chapter to be this long. **

**Do you think Japan will intervene later or not? Or do you think Italy will just string up another thing of lies to keep Japan out of it? The plot thickens…..**

**On another note, I find myself curious again. If you were in Italy's shoes, in that exact same situation, what would you do? Would you tell the truth and risk hurting one of your friends or keep telling lies to protect yourself and others from being hurt? Or would you do something else entirely? **

**Let me know, I'm very curious to hear what you all would do. **

**Until next time**

**mcpidy**

* * *

**Translations**:

**Italian**:

molto bello – very nice

uno – 1

due – 2

tre – 3

magnifico – magnificent

**German**:

Vunderbar – wonderful

Nein – no

**Japanese**:

Yoshi – Alright


	8. Schlaf' ein kleine Monster

**Chapter 8 - Schlaf' ein kleine Monster **

* * *

Prussia and I had spent the entire day walking around the city. We decided to head back to the house when the sun began to set and the shops began to close down for the day. It had been a nice day overall, I've always liked visiting the shops here in Germany and window-shopping. I just wish the visit was under better circumstances.

As I was walking hand in hand with Prussia something caught my eye in the windowsill. It was a beautiful little ornament that appeared to be hand-crafted. It was a small, golden birdcage with a little red bird sitting inside it. The bars on the cage were crafted with eloquent design patterns as was the bottom half of the cage. I don't know why this little ornament in particular caught my eye but I couldn't look away from it.

Prussia caught my stare and stopped to look into the window as well. He smiled before wrapping his arm around my waist and holding me against him.

"See something you like Ita-chan?" He asked sweetly.

"Ve~ I was just looking at that little birdcage. It's very exquisite." I replied back, not taking my eyes off the cage.

Prussia grinned as he pulled me inside the store and up to counter where the shopkeeper was. I followed alongside him, curious all the way.

"How much for zat little ornament in za vindow?" Prussia pointed at the window and asked the man excitedly.

"Ah, you vant zat little birdcage ja?" The shopkeeper asked from behind the counter.

I began to frown when it became clear that Prussia wanted to buy that little birdcage for me. I wanted him to do no such thing; the gift would only make me feel even guiltier about our fake relationship.

"Gilbert you don't have to buy that for me. I was just admiring it that's all." I whined while trying to tug him towards the door. The man would not budge however and continued to talk to the shopkeeper as if he hadn't even heard me.

"I want to get this for you Feli so stop fussing. Besides I can tell you really like it."

I actually wasn't sure if I liked the ornament or not. Yes it was beautiful but there was something about it that seemed eerily familiar.

"That vill be 40 marks herr. Would you like me to gift wrap it for you?" The shopkeeper asked as he ran up the total.

"No zat vill be fine; the gift is for my lover here." Prussia said fished the money out of his pocket and paid the man.

The shop owner handed me the tiny birdcage and bid us both a goodnight. Prussia and I both thanked the man as we walked out of the shop, with Prussia's arm securely around my waist.

Walking down the street I held the birdcage tightly in both hands, staring at it in wonder. I stroked the sides of the metal bars with my thumbs as I stared at the little red bird inside the cage. Something about the bird drew me to him as if we were somehow connected. I couldn't think a reason why I was so captivated by this ornament; it vexed me.

I felt around the underside of the cage when I felt a little nob, it was a windup turner. I twisted the nob to see if it would really play some music. I cranked it until it stopped and I let it go, the little bird started to turn around as if it were trying to escape. A soothing melody came from the cage as the music played, it sounded like a lullaby.

"I know zis song, I used to sing it to West vhen he was a kid." Prussia said fondly as old memories from the past came back to him.

Prussia started to hum along to the music before he began to sing the lyrics.

"Schlaf, mein Kindchen, schlafe ein

Die Nacht, sie schaut zum Fenster rein

Der runde Mond, er hat dich gerne

Und es leuchten dir die Sterne

Schlaf mein Kindchen, träume süß

Bald bist du im Paradies"

Prussia's deep voice sang out, a small smile playing at his lips. Prussia sang quite beautifully to my surprise, considering how odd his talking voice was. I relaxed more in his hold as we walked back to the house, the cool air running past us. The song was definitely a lullaby judging by the lyrics. The sound of Prussia's baritone voice and the cool night air made my eyes droop a little. I held the cage against my chest as I listened to Prussia sing.

"Denn gleich öffnet sich die Tür,

Und ein Monster kommt zu dir!

Mit seinen elf Augen schaut es dich an,

Und schleicht sich an dein Bettchen ran!

Du liegst still da, bewegst dich nicht,

Das Monster zerkratzt dir dein Gesicht!"

My eyes widened at the dramatic turn the song had taken. It started off like a peaceful lullaby and now it's about a monster coming into your room and scratching your face? My face scrunched in confusion as I listened to Prussia's singing and paid close attention to the lyrics. The tune remained calm and tranquil but the song itself was starting to sound very scary.

"Seine Finger sind lang und dünn,

Wehr dich nicht, 's hat keinen Sinn!

Und es kichert wie verrückt,

Als es deinen Hals zudrückt! - Du schreist,

Doch du bist allein zu Haus',

Das Monster sticht dir die Augen aus!"

_Mio Dio! What kind of song is this? How can Prussia sing this so pleasantly when the lyrics are so horrible? This song can't really be intended for children, it's more like a scary bedtime story. If I sang this to my own children they'd be weeping at this point._

I watched the little red bird turn around in the cage as the song played on, a chill suddenly running up my spine.

"Dann bist du still, und das ist gut

Es beisst dir in den Hals und trinkt dein Blut

Ohne Blut bist du bleich wie Kreide

Dann frisst es deine Eingeweide

Dein kleines Bettchen vom Blut ganz rot

Die Sonne geht auf und du bist tot."

As if the song couldn't get any more disturbing. I didn't want to imagine what a young Germany thought of this song as Prussia sang it to him. The song is giving me chills so I can't even imagine what a child-like Germany felt as he listened to this song. The lullaby was basically about a monster that sneaks into your room and brutally kills you; not exactly a pleasant bedtime song.

A fleeting thought passed through my mind at that moment, I glanced at Prussia as he continued to sing the demonic lullaby.

_A monster that sneaks into your room and kills you..._

_But why did the monster sneak into your room and kill you? What reason did it have? Or was this the type of monster that didn't need reason, it just did what it wanted. Was the monster even regretful for his hurtful actions? Did it feel no remorse? _

I looked at Prussia again while he sang with that peculiar smile on his face.

_Somehow I feel like the monster didn't think it was doing anything wrong, so it had no need to feel regret or guilt. _

"Schlaf, mein Kindchen, schlaf jetzt ein

Am Himmel stehn die Sternelein

Schlaf, mein Kleines, schlafe schnell

Dein Bettchen ist ein Karussell

Schlaf, mein Kindchen, schlafe ein

Sonst kann das Monster nicht hinein"

Prussia hummed the last bit of the song as the music finally came to an end. The little red bird became still in the cage as the music stopped. I felt bad for the little bird, doomed to spend the rest of its life in a cage. Never again to feel the wind under its wings or feel the sweet taste of freedom.

_Maybe the bird was trapped by the monster and could not get out. _

I wanted to break the cage right then. To tear open the tiny metal bars and hold the little red bird in my palm. No bird should be caged like this, to be forever imprisoned behind cold metal bars. I felt like the cage was mocking me, showing me exactly how I felt.

A bird trapped in a cage with no way out.

I hadn't even noticed that my hands were shaking at this point. I felt like I was going to collapse and pass out from this overwhelming realization. Because it was true, I felt trapped. I felt like there was no way out of this mess. Like there was no way I could escape without bringing some sort of doom upon myself. That I could not escape the cage without running into the monster. It wasn't until we stopped walking that I noticed Prussia lightly shaking me.

"Italy! I said are you ok? You're shaking like a leaf." Prussia said worriedly as he used his other hand to turn my face towards him.

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked into Prussia's worried red eyes. I took a deep breathe to try and calm myself before speaking.

"Si Gilbert, I'm ok. Grazie for asking but I'm just a bit cold that's all." I said through chattering teeth.

"Here take my jacket; I don't vant you catching a cold." Prussia said as he held out his jacket for me to slip on. The jacket was nice and warm and it had Prussia's musky scent too. My body had stopped quivering but my mind was still troubled. I knew at some point this whole mess was going to end badly. I knew full well that lies eventually became exposed in the end and at some point the truth would be uncovered. When the truth is revealed, someone's going to get one way or another. I knew that was unavoidable.

_The only thing I can do is hold off that oncoming storm for as long as I can. _

When we came up to the house I was surprised to find that the house was dark. Prussia and I walked into the kitchen and turned on the lights, confusion evident on our faces. We looked around the house to see where Germany and Japan were but neither could be found.

"Hey Ita-chan! I found a note from Japan!" Prussia yelled from the kitchen.

I walked up beside Prussia and took the note as he handed it to me. It was indeed from Japan, I'd recognize that kooky handwriting anywhere.

**Dear Itaria-san,**

**I'm sorry I cannot be there to have dinner with you and Prussia-san. I'm afraid I got into an argument with Mr. Germany earlier and he told me to get out. I will be staying someplace else for the night so we can both cool off and regain our thoughts. I will be back in the morning.**

**Japan**

**p.s. If you happen to run into Mr. Germany please be wary, he's been drinking the whole day and his temper is worse than usual. **

"Dass verdammter dummkopf." Prussia muttered as he paced the kitchen.

I couldn't believe that Japan and Germany had actually gotten into an argument; Japan never argued with anyone let alone our leader. I felt uneasy as I thought about the last part of Japan's note. If Germany had been drinking that hard liquor all day he would definitely be wasted at this point. I know all too well how Germany gets when he's had a few too many; his temper becomes even more unruly.

_What on earth could they have been fighting over?_

"I'm going to go look for him." Prussia said as he hastily walked over to the kitchen door.

Just then we both jumped at the sound of the living room door being slammed open and a large weight falling inside. From the German curse words coming out of the intruder's mouth I knew exactly who it was. I walked into the living room behind Prussia to find Germany trying to pick himself back up from falling onto the floorboards.

"Was zur Hölle West!" Prussia scolded his little brother as he walked over to help him up.

Germany snarled and pushed Prussia back as he stumbled back onto his feet. His blue eyes were bloodshot and glossy while his normally kempt blonde hair was a tousled mess on top of his head. Germany swayed on his feet as he looked back and forth between Prussia and I, the anger on his face slowly growing.

"Vhere za hell were you two all day?" Germany snarled as his glare landed upon me.

Prussia narrowed his eyes and took a step towards his brother and in front of me. I was grateful for Prussia's protectiveness but I knew it would only spur on Germany's growing rage.

"Ve were on a date, Bruder." Prussia said calmly as he eyed his brother carefully.

Germany's fell face as he took in that information; his expression looked almost lost. I hated seeing such a pitiful look on Germany's face, someone as strong as him should never have to look like that. And I hated knowing I was the cause for his sorrow; that I was the one that continued to hurt him.

"A...date?" Germany whispered almost to himself.

I shrunk back in fear when his face quickly became one of pure hatred. His lips curved back in a sneer as he picked up a nearby lamp and threw it across the room. The resulting crash caused me to flinch and cover my ears. Prussia gasped at his brother's wild behavior and stared at him with shocked eyes. Germany turned back towards us and stomped over to where Prussia and I were standing.

"A date! Don't make me laugh Bruder! I know damn vell vhat you two were up to all day! Answer me this Bruder; how many times did you two fuck today mmm?" Germany ranted as glared at us accusingly.

"Excuse me? You better watch your mouth kleinen Bruder or did you forget who you're speaking to!" Prussia yelled back as he took an intimidating step towards his brother.

I knew any second these two were going to start fighting and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was nowhere near strong enough to break them up should a fight ensue. I clutched my shirt in fear as I watched the two brothers argue.

_If these two start fighting I have no doubt in my mind that it would escalate and get out of hand. Germany and Prussia are both perfectly capable of killing each other._

"I've had it up to here vith zis attitude West! You are vay out of line!"

"Fick Dich! Vhat do you know about anything Bruder! Vhy don't you just admit that you were fucking my Italy all day!"

"Your Italy? He is not yours West, he is mine!"

"He was mine before you came along! He vas my friend first!"

"Well he's mine now kleinen Bruder. And ve were not having sex while ve were out; ve really were out on a date! And you'd know that if you had been paying attention to us zis morning instead of drinking your brain cells away!" Prussia yelled as he got in his brother's face.

"Bullshit! Don't lie to me Bruder! I know what you two do while you're down in that basement! Do you think I'm blind?" Germany yelled as he pushed his brother, knocking him back a few steps.

I acted before thinking just then, all I knew was that I didn't want a fight to break out between these two. I jumped in between the two brothers and held my hands up in a defensive posture hoping to calm them down. I looked up at Germany with pleading eyes, praying he'd take pity and just go to his room and pass out.

"P-please don't fight you two! Let's just go b-back to our rooms so we can sleep this off." I said meekly as I cowered in front of the two angry Germans.

"You mean so you can go back and fuck your little boyfriend! Is zat vhat you vant?" Germany yelled as he grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me towards him. Germany glared down at me with reproachful eyes as his grip on my arm tightened to a very painful degree.

"Let go of him West!" Prussia yelled as he grabbed my other arm and tried to tug me back over to him.

Germany however kept his grip strong as he held onto me.

"No! Not until he admits to be being za little Hure that he is! Tell me Italy, did you like the feeling of mein älteren Bruder inside you? Did you cum like a little Hündin?" Germany asked with a hiss as he bent down to my eye level, his alcohol covered breath flooding my senses.

I don't know what came over me at that moment. Maybe it was the angry Italian inside of me or the growing frustration at this whole disaster, but right at that moment I had had enough. The man yelling in my face right now was not the man I had fallen in love with. I felt no remorse for what I did next.

I spit right in Germany's face.

It felt like everything froze right then, like even the world stopped turning. I felt both German's loosen their grips on me as shock overcame them both. I hated to admit it, but I felt a sick sense of satisfaction at having silenced the large German. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to fight back instead of run. It felt good.

_Romano would be so proud of me right now. _

Then like a bolt of lightning, I remembered exactly why I always ran instead of fighting.

I was not very strong.

I watched as the large German straitened back to his full height and towered over me. Compared to Germany, I was just like a tiny rabbit that pissed off a rabid dog. And I just spit in this rabid dog's face.

Germany used his other hand to wipe the spit off his eyes, all the while his body shaking with rage. His jaw was clenched as he stared into my frightened eyes, pinning me on the spot. I could practically feel the waves of fury coming off of the man in front of me. I was scared, more scared than I had ever been in my life. With one swing Germany could easily put me in a coma or kill me.

Germany lifted me off my feet in an instant and flung me over to the living room door, my back hitting the doorknob painfully. I rolled onto my side and groaned in pain at hitting the doorknob; that was definitely going to leave a bruise. Everything happened so fast it took me a second to realize what just happened.

Prussia snapped out of his shock just then as he grabbed Germany from behind and threw him into a headlock, trying his best to subdue him. Germany of course put up quite a fight, yelling and swearing in German all the while. I watched terrified as Prussia tried to wrangle his brother into submission while Germany tried to throw his brother off. It was scary to watch the two German's wrestle like this; it was a true testament to thier strength that's for sure.

My heart stopped as Germany managed to grab his brother by the hair and throw him off. He cracked Prussia across the face and sent him to the floor before stumbling back over to me. I felt all the color drain from my face as Germany lifted me back up and slammed me into the door. I looked behind the large German to see Prussia lying on the floor and grabbing at his face, blood pouring from his mouth and nose.

"I thought you were **my** friend Italy..." Germany whispered as he kept his eyes to the floor.

I looked back to Germany; my heart clenched as I watched the stream of tears run down his face. Germany lowered me back onto the floor but kept his strong grip on my arms. He lowered his head onto my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist in a tight hug. My body shook from the wretched sobs coming from Germany.

"I thought you loved me..." Germany sobbed as he squeezed me tighter.

I couldn't think of a word to say. I wasn't sure if Germany was even aware of what he was saying seeing as how drunk he was. But the sorrow and longing in his voice was unmistakable; Germany sounded heartbroken. I stood there unsure of what to do as Germany cried onto my shoulder and held me tight. I didn't even know the German was capable of tears.

"I thought...I thought that...you..."

'**CRACK!'**

I yelped as the glass vase hit the back of Germany's head and he fell unconscious onto the floor. Prussia stood behind him, panting and holding his bleeding nose. He knelt down and checked his brother's pulse to make sure he was still alive and breathed a sigh of relief. Prussia fell back onto the floor as he sat there and clutched his shirt to his bleeding face.

"G-gilbert..."

'**RING!'**

I jumped again at the alarming noise, my nerves still on high alert. I looked back at Prussia as he nodded his head and motioned for me to answer it. I bristly walked into the kitchen and picked up the telephone with shaky hands.

"Ciao, t-this is Italy speaking."

"Well no shit dumbass how many other Italy's live in that house?" A gruff voice said from the other line.

"Fratello...it's just you." I said with an exhale of relief.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Romano asked angrily.

"N-nothing Fratello it's...just been a long day that's all." I said with exhaustion.

"Whatever I'm just calling to ask what the crappolla is going on over there."

My heart skipped a beat as I looked over to Prussia and Germany.

"What do you mean Fratello?" I asked nervously.

"I mean, why the hell has it been storming in Northern Italy these past few days? It never storms in the Northern part of our country so what is going on over there? I bet those potato bastards are behind this!" Romano yelled into the phone, cynicism clear in his voice.

I sighed as I ran my hand down my face; I had almost forgotten about that. Being a nation, sometimes our mood affected the weather of our country. I'm not surprised to hear that it's been storming in Northern Italy with everything that's been happening over here the past couple of days. I should have known that Romano would call about that sooner or later.

"It's nothing Fratello; it's just been really stressful over here. The war has been taking its toll on everyone so we've all been in a bad mood lately." I didn't bother trying to make up a lie; Romano can always tell when I'm lying.

"..."

"Fratello? Hello?"

"You're keeping something from me..."

My heart rate quickened.

"W-What? No I'm not..."

"FELICIANO ALONZA VARGAS! DON'T YOU **DARE** LIE TO ME!"

I nearly dropped the phone from hearing my brother yell at the top of his lungs. I knew at this point it would be in my best interests to stay quiet. When Romano went into protective big-brother mode there was no arguing with him.

"Do you think I'm stupid? I know when you're lying to me little brother and I know when you're keeping secrets from me! Now you are going to tell me what's been going on or I will come over there and see for myself! Do you hear me!" Romano yelled frantically.

I could hear Spain in the background trying to calm Romano down with soothing Spanish words but It had no effect on my brother.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell Romano the truth; that would be a disaster. I knew that as soon as I told Romano the truth he would come down here and try to take me home, making me leave the Axis for good. I also knew that a certain Prussian would not stand for that.

I shuddered to think of my brother getting into a fight with Prussia; there was just no way he'd survive that. But I needed to tell him something or else he was going to come over anyways.

"Prussia and Germany got into a fight."

I could almost hear my brother's surprise from the other line.

"They've been arguing and fighting a lot these past couple days and it's been stressful. And then just a few minutes ago they got into a bad fight. I sort of got caught in the middle of it." I said hoping my brother wouldn't push the subject as to why they were fighting.

"Those stupid bastards, what the hell is wrong with them? Are you ok? Did they hurt you!" Romano asked, anger and worry clear in his voice.

"I...got thrown into the door...but I'm ok! Prussia was able to stop the fight from escalating any further."

"Quei figli di puttana! I knew I should have never let you stay there! You're coming home right now Feli! Go pack your stuff; I want you here in Italy by morning."

"But Fratello I-"

"I AM NOT ASKING YOU FELICIANO! I'M TELLING YOU! PACK YOUR STUFF **NOW**!"

"Fratello..."

"If you're not here by tomorrow morning I'm coming over there to get you myself."

'**CLICK' **

...

I stared at the phone in my hands as the dial tone rang out from the speaker. There was just too much going on at once for me to handle. My stomach churned from all the stress and I felt acid in the back of my throat. I hurried over to the sink and splashed some cold water on my face. The cool water felt good but my stomach was still churning.

I thought of Prussia's lullaby just then, about the monster that snuck into your room and killed you in your sleep. I wondered when the monster would come and do the same to me. I knew my cage of lies couldn't protect me forever. It was only a matter of time before the monster got me.

I walked back into the living room and stared at Prussia and Germany lying on the floor both covered in blood.

_But which monster will it be?_

* * *

**The song that Prussia sings is called Schlaflied by Die ärzt; you can also find it on YouTube.  
**

**If you want to see a picture of Italy's birdcage that Prussia got for him: **

**Just Google image German music box and the little birdcage should be in the fourth line of pictures.  
**

** Also I made up Italy's middle name so I don't know if he really has one or not. **

**Hope you all liked this chapter. I'm sorry for the late update but with school about to start my updates will take longer than usual. But don't worry, I won't stop writing nor will I put any of my stories on hiatus and then forget about them. (I hate it when authors do that)**

**Until next time **

**mcpidy**

* * *

**Translations**:

**Italian**:

Ciao – Hello

Mio Dio – My God

Fratello – brother

Quei figli di puttana – Those motherfuckers

**German**:

Herr – Sir

Dass verdammter dummkopf – That fucking idiot

Was zur Hölle – what the hell

Fick Dich – fuck you

Hure – whore

mein älteren Bruder – My older brother

Hündin – bitch

**English lyrics to Schlaflied**

Sleep, my dear child, go to sleep

the night is looking through the window

the round moon, he likes you

and the stars are shining for you

Sleep, my dear child, go to sleep

soon you'll be in paradise

Because in a moment the door opens

and a monster is coming to you

with his eleven Eyes is stares at you

and it's creeping towards your bed

You're keeping still, you're not moving a bit

the monster is scratching your face

His fingers are long and thin

Don't try to fight it's futile

And it's giggling like it's insane

as it chokes your throat

You scream, but you're alone at home

The monster picks out your eyes

Then you are silent and this is good

it bits you in the throat and drinks your blood

Without blood you're pale-faced like chalk

then it eats your guts

Your small bed all red from blood

the sun is coming up and you're dead

Sleep, my dear child, go to sleep

at the sky there are the stars

Sleep, my dear child, sleep fast

your bed is a merry-go-round

Sleep, my dear child, go to sleep

or else the monster can't come in


	9. Tired as fuck

**Chapter 9 – Tired as fuck**

**I'd like to give a special thanks to Nelniel for being the official German translator for this story. Seeing as how I'm only fluent in English, this is a big help to me especially since Google translate really does suck….**

**Anyway I hope you enjoy the new chapter and thanks again to Nel for translating.**

**The German used in this chapter was translated by: Nelniel**

* * *

"Well Ludvig needed some stiches vhere za vase hit him and Gilbert has a broken nose but other than zat zey are fine." The grumpy doctor told me as he slipped on his coat; preparing to leave.

The two brothers were currently passed out in the living room with Germany on the couch and Gilbert on the love seat. I used the emergency contacts Germany leaves by the phone and called up the local house doctor. He was a bit agitated at being called so late but from what he told me this wasn't the first time he had to patch the brothers up after a fight.

"I gave Gilbert some sleeping medicine so he'll be out for the night. It will be a few days before the swelling in his nose goes down. As for Ludvig, give him zese painkillers when he gets up. The pills should also help vith za swelling on his head." The doctor said tiredly as he handed me the bottle of painkillers.

I thanked the doctor again and bid him a good night. I looked up at the clock as I felt my own waves of sleepiness hit me; it was almost midnight. I wanted nothing more than to take some of the sleeping pills and pass out myself but I knew I had more important things to do. Like what to do about the situation with my brother for example.

"Dio…" I groaned tiredly as I rubbed my throbbing temples and sat down in a nearby chair.

I still had no idea what do about my brother. If I stayed here, Romano would just come over and drag me back home in a fit. However if I were to leave and one of the Germans happens to wake up and see I'm not here that would be a disaster as well. But I had to do something, sitting on my butt all night wasn't going to fix anything either.

The only thing I could think to do was talk Romano into letting me stay with the Axis for just a little while longer. Military speaking; that would be the smart thing to do. If we were to disband from the Axis now while Germany still had most of its army and supplies in full that could mean trouble for Italy. I'm not certain but Germany could invade our country for betraying him to the Allies. If that were to happen our army could not fight them back and our people would be at the mercy of those awful death camps I've heard about.

_That's the only thing I can think of to convince my fratello to let me stay here._

As much as I would love to go home and stay with the safety of my brother and Spain, I knew very well that I couldn't. Prussia would not stand for having me leave if the tantrum he had last time was anything to go by. _I__f he found out I left again without his permission…._

I rubbed the bruise under my jaw and sighed in defeat. I had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

I jumped in the chair I had been sitting in as I felt something soft rub between my legs in a lazy fashion. I looked down to find Clove; mewling and begging for attention. I smiled and lifted the purring cat onto my lap; grateful for his loving affection. I held Clove close to my chest as I felt myself relax from his purring frame. The soft vibrations from the loveable cat were sending little tickles through my own body. I planted a small kiss on his head and silently thanked him for calming me during this stressful time.

"Grazie Clove. Grazie molte." I whispered against his soft fur before lifting him up and carrying him into the kitchen. I set Clove onto the counter and poured him some new cat food with some fresh water. I pet the sleepy tabby once more before going down to the basement to pack a quick bag.

If I leave now I should be in Italy by early morning.

* * *

My fatigue stricken face stared back at me as I looked into the bathroom mirror. I picked up some liquid foundation at the town drug store and brought it with me inside the stores bathroom. I was very fortunate to have remembered the bruise under my jaw. If Romano saw that he would have surly had a meltdown and demanded the German's head on a stick.

I opened the little bottle and applied the makeup to the bruise. I hissed at the contact; the bruise still very sensitive to the touch. I smeared the foundation in to match my own skin tone and carefully hide the bruise. I tilted my chin up to check my handiwork and was satisfied at the results. You could barely see the bruise now.

I suddenly felt very ashamed of myself for having to go to such lengths to hide my own weakness. I didn't deserve to be treated this way; to be beaten and pushed around. I just wanted things back the way they used to be. I wanted to goof around in the kitchen with Prussia and play football with Germany like we used to. I even missed training with the old Germany.

I watched as a few droplets of tears fell into the sink. I gripped the porcelain as I tried to calm myself back down and not have another breakdown. If I show up at Romano's with a tear stained face he'll be convinced that Germany and Prussia were the cause of it. Even though they actually were.

I quickly wiped away my tears with my sleeve and checked the makeup on my bruise to make sure I hadn't smeared it off. With one last look in the mirror, I fixed my hair to look more presentable and headed out the door.

I slung the small tote bag over my shoulder and made my way to Romano's house. His place wasn't too far from the drug store so it was a short walk. Still, I couldn't help but take my time and bask in the glow of the country. I hadn't realized how homesick I was till I got back here. I missed the beauty of Italy that couldn't be found anywhere else. I thanked my lord for having spared my country from the atrocities of the war. Although there were a few outbreaks from my boss's police force; the country and its people were otherwise ok.

Although it did unnerve me to have German troops still occupying the northern half of the country. Those odd flags of theirs never ceased to send a grim chill up my spine; as they did to most people. I was happy to find none of those flags in southern Italy; my brother still not technically a part of the Axis. The southern part of Italy was fortunate enough not to be occupied by German troops like the upper half of the country was. I thought back to when I first joined the Axis and how happy I had been to help Germany succeed in this war. Now I wasn't so sure what I wanted.

As I neared my brother's house I took in a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves. I already knew my brother was going to make this very difficult.

As I reached for the door it was pulled open for me by my always-pissed-off looking brother. Romano was already dressed for the day and he seemed to have been literally waiting by the door for me to arrive.

"It's about time crotch-breath! I've been waiting all morning for your sorry ass! Now get in here." Romano yelled as he pulled me inside and slammed the door behind him. I picked up the faint smell of coffee as I walked into the kitchen. Spain was already sitting at the kitchen table and drinking a big cup of our famous Italian coffee. My mouth watered at the delectable smell; I hadn't had Italian brewed coffee since I've been living at Germany's.

"Where is the rest of your stuff little brother? Did those German assholes get rid of your things! I knew they would pull some shit like this!" Romano shouted as he threw his arms in the air and paced the kitchen.

"Buenos dias Italy. How have you been mi buen amigo?" Spain asked politely as he poured another cup of coffee and handed it to me.

"I've been fine Spain, grazie. I'm just tired from the trip." I said before taking a big gulp of the delicious coffee. I sighed in content as the mouthwatering liquid warmed my stomach.

"Are you even listening to me dickhead? I'm trying to talk to you here!" Romano growled as he walked up to me; his golden eyes brimming with anger.

"Mi dispiace, I heard you fratello. And no they didn't get rid of my stuff; I just left it all back at Germany's place. I came here because I need to talk to you about staying with the Axis." I said with my eyes cast down and my hands gripping the coffee mug.

"Excuse me? Are you fucking kidding me right now! You are not staying with those German bastards for another minute! I forbid it Feli!" Romano once again waved his hands in the air as he continued to pace the kitchen in anger like he always did when he was upset.

"Why don't you hear him out Romano? It must be important if Feli came all the way done here to tell you." Spain said while trying to place his hands on Romano's shoulders. Romano in turn simply growled and shrugged off his touch. I knew Spain was trying to be the practical one here and I was grateful for his help. He knew just as well as I did that Romano was not an easy person to talk to.

"Please fratello just listen to me. I cannot just up and leave the Axis right now; it would jeopardize our country and its people." My voice taking on a soft plea as I looked at my brother from across the kitchen.

"Screw the country and its people! I won't stand to have my little brother be thrown into doors by some German assholes! We are going to permanently cut our ties from that damn Axis and join the Allies like we should have done in the beginning. So you can forgot about returning to Germany because you're never going back there Feli and that's final!" My brother got right in my face as he tried to stare me down.

Normally I would never argue with Romano since I knew fighting with him was pointless but this time I could not allow myself to back down.

"Fratello you're being unreasonable. Please think about what you're saying! What do you think would happen if I were to declare my allegiance with the Allies while Northern Italy was still being occupied by hundreds of German troops?"

Romano didn't have a response to that as he clenched his fists in anger. We both knew exactly what would happen but Romano was just too hot-headed to admit it. Spain rubbed the sides of Romano's arms soothingly as he whispered something into his ear.

I couldn't help but feel jealous of Romano's relationship with Spain. He was so lucky to have someone that cared for him so deeply. It was obvious that Spain loved my brother dearly and that my brother loved him right back. Even though he would sooner hug Germany than admit it.

_I wonder...if I had just told Germany about my feelings in the first place, could we have had a relationship like Spain and Romano's? I had always wanted to have a relationship like that with Germany but now I can't help but wonder if that's even possible now._

"He's right and you know it Romano." Spain said as he spoke to Romano in a serious tone.

"The Northern part of the country is still crawling with German troops. If Italy were to switch sides now it could be disastrous for the country and for your brother. I know you don't want your hermanito pequeño to get hurt but you don't have a lot of other options right now amor." Spain said as wrapped his arms around Romano in a comforting hug.

Romano was tense in Spain's grip as his face became one of crushing defeat. I could tell he finally came to the realization that both of us were right. I knew he hated the thought of me going back to Germany but at that moment neither of us had any choice. I had to go back regardless of what any of us thought.

"Mi dispiace fratello; veramente io sono. Tu sai che io ti amo, ma devo fare questo per tenerci al sicuro. Mi dispiace." Spain excused himself so I could walk up and wrap my brother in my own hug. Romano returned the hug with force as he squeezed me tightly.

"Questa è tutta colpa tuo stupido." Romano whispered bitterly as he clutched onto my shirt in frustration.

I sucked in a gasp as I tried to hold back the guilty tears that threatened my eyes. I knew Romano was only being his usual blaming self but the words still cut me deep.

"I know it is fratello. I know it is." I whispered back as I held onto my big brother as if for dear life.

We both held on to each other for what felt like years as the minutes slowly passed us by.

"You don't need to worry though Romano. There is no way Germany is going to win this war; he doesn't have nearly enough troops or supplies to beat the Allies. As soon as his provisions began to dwindle then it will be safer for Italy to disband from the Axis." Spain came up behind Romano and rubbed his back to calm his quivering frame.

Romano looked up at Spain with frustrated eyes as he wiped away the angry tears that threatened to fall from his face. I looked at my brother's fuming and irritated face as he bit his lip from frustration. I hated upsetting my brother like this but I knew I didn't have a choice at the moment.

Romano suddenly gripped my shoulders as he looked me dead in the eye with burning intensity.

"If I find out that either one of them hurt you again I'm going to take you home, consequences be damned!" Romano shouted as his eyes became filled with angry tears.

I smiled at my brother's protectiveness. It was comforting to know Romano would always be there to look after me. It filled my heart with joy to know I meant so much to him; I just wished he would show it more often. I didn't want to leave the comfort of my brother's hug but I knew I had to get going soon before Prussia or Germany woke up.

"I would love to stay and have breakfast with you fratello but I have to get back to Germany's house." I said while trying to break my brother's hold on me.

"Why are you in such a hurry to get back there huh? Why don't you just stay here for a while; you haven't been home in months for Christ sake!" Romano said agitatedly as he took a sip of the coffee I had set down.

"I don't want anyone to get suspicious of my absence. If you still want to side with the Allies in the end then we can't let on to Germany in any way. I have to stay there in order to keep face and not arouse suspicion."

Romano turned away in agitation as he swore up a storm in our native language and kicked at the ground. Once again he knew I was right and it pissed him off to no end. I tried to suppress a chuckle at my brother's antics; I would never say it out loud but Romano always looked so cute when he threw a tantrum.

"You can at least stay for breakfast stronzo. Spain, make us something to eat!" Romano said in a huff as he sat down at the kitchen table. Spain in turn came up and pinched Romano's cheek as the two began to argue.

I checked the clock and figured I had some time before the two German brothers awoke from their slumber. I just prayed I could get back there before that happened.

* * *

It was about mid-afternoon when I finally made it back to Germany's. I pretty much had to drag myself out of Romano's house as he did not want to let me go. Eventually I was able to pull myself out of his death-grip and say my goodbyes. I didn't want to leave my homeland so soon but I knew I had to get back before the Germans woke up.

I was completely drained of energy at this point. Not only was the trip exhausting but having to fight with my brother took a lot out of me as well. Not to mention I was still sore from yesterday's little bout. All I wanted to do was take some headache medicine and go right to sleep. Unfortunately I knew what was waiting for me when I walked through the door. Or should I say whom.

I felt the creeping sense of dread run through me as I neared Germany's house. _What if Prussia's already up? What could I tell him to explain myself? I don't want him to d__rag me down into the basement again so he can beat me. Please let them still be asleep…_

I timidly opened the door to find Prussia and Germany still passed out in the living room. I let out a shaky breath and quickly closed the door behind me as I walked inside. I was utterly exhausted from being up all night with no sleep so I wanted to get to bed as soon as possible. I set my small tote bag on the kitchen table as I plopped down in one of the chairs.

"Dio, my heads killing me." I rubbed my temples to help with the stress.

_I wonder where Japan is? He said in his note that he would be back in the morning so where on earth could he be? It's not like him to be late so..._

'**THUMP'**

I was startled out of my thoughts from the loud bang that came from the living room. I quickly walked back there and stopped when I saw it was Germany. The man had apparently tried to roll over in his sleep and rolled off the couch because of it. Germany was groaning and rubbing his head as he I tried to sit back up but failed miserably.

"I-italy? Verflucht...what am I doing here?" Germany asked while squinting his tired blue eyes at me.

I walked over to Germany and helped him back onto the couch; trying to be mindful of his stitches. The German was holding his head and groaning in pain as he looked around the living room in confusion.

"Vhat am I doing in za living room? And vhat time iz it?"

"Prussia hit you in the back of the head with a vase last night so you passed out down here. And it's the middle of the afternoon." I said while carefully checking the bandages around Germany's head.

Germany's eyes widen at my words as he continued to look around the room; as if trying to remember the events from last night. His eyes finally landed on Prussia as he stared at his bruised brother's face. Prussia had two black eyes and a slightly swollen nose from the punch he received last night.

Germany stared at his brother in shock before grabbing onto his stomach and leaning forward.

"Scheiße..."

That was all Germany had time to say before leaning over the couch and emptying his stomach of all the contents he drank the day before. He vomited at least twice; getting it all over the floor and on his own pants. I had no time to run and get him a basket before he finally stopped throwing up. Germany dry heaved a few times but his stomach had already emptied itself of everything it just threw up. The rancid smell was starting to make me gag as I quickly opened the living room window to get some fresh air inside.

I looked back at Germany's pitiful state and walked over to help him onto his feet.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs." I said while holding my hand out to him.

Germany looked up at me with an unreadable expression before taking my hand and slowly getting off the couch. The man almost fell back down as he stood up; the hangover and head-trauma causing him to be a bit wobbly on his feet.

Germany threw his arm around me as I tried to keep him balanced and make it to his room. The task was easier said than done. With all of Germany's weight being pushed onto me; I did my best to half-drag him to the stairs. Once there it took me nearly an hour to get the bumbling German all the way up the steps. We kept having to stop from either him falling over or me not being able to support his heavy weight.

"Zur Hölle; it shouldn't be taking us zis long to climb za damn stairs." Germany grumbled as we neared the top of the steps.

"It's not my fault you're so heavy." I said while trying to keep the man steady and not fall over again.

"I'm not heavy you just have no upper body strength."

"No, you're heavy."

When we finally reached the top and made it to Germany's room I was beyond thankful. Not only was the man heavier than a truck full of bricks but he smelled worse than a rotten tomato. Germany, I'm sure, hasn't bathed in at least a few days so add in the smell of vomit and you've got his stench at the moment.

Germany sat down on the bed as I went to his dresser drawer and picked out some fresh clothes for him. I placed them on the bed next to Germany before going into his bathroom and running a nice bath for the smelly man. While letting the bathtub fill up with warm water, I walked back into the other room to help Germany out of his shirt.

"Now just be careful, you have stitches in the back of your head." I said while trying to lift his shirt over his head without touching the stitches. After getting the grungy shirt off, I was stuck in the awkward position of standing in front of a shirtless Germany. I quickly turned my head away as I felt my face start to heat up from embarrassment.

I walked back into the bathroom before I could mortify myself any further and shut off the running water from the tub. The water was just right. I grabbed a clean towel and walked back to give it to Germany when I unexpectedly yelped in a not-so-manly way. Germany was still sitting in the same spot I left him except now he was completely naked.

I hastily handed him the towel which he swiftly wrapped around himself to cover his privates. Both of our faces were beat red from embarrassment as we looked anywhere but each other.

"Um w-well the baths ready so..." I didn't finish my sentence as I turned to leave the bedroom.

"Vait!" Germany yelled as he reached out and grabbed my arm. The man almost stumbled off the bed as he held onto my forearm. I turned back to Germany as he looked towards the bathroom and then back to me with that unreadable expression of his.

It took me a second to figure out what he was trying to say but eventually I got it. My face blushed even more as I realized Germany's silent request. I scratched the back of my neck and looked away as I contemplated talking myself out of this. At seeing the desperate plea in Germany's eyes, however, my resolve broke and I decided to just help the man.

I once again lifted Germany back onto his feet with his arm around my shoulders. I carefully carried the man to the bathroom as I tried not to think about the fact that I was pressed against his near naked body. When we reached the tub I held Germany steady as he stepped into the water. I almost lost my grip on him when he tossed the towel into the sink and slowly tried to sit down. I instantly screwed my eyes shut as I helped Germany sit down in the bath tub and tried desperately not to look at his naked body.

"Must you have zat face? You act as if I have a snake down there." Germany grumbled as he got settled in the tub.

"No, it's not that! It's j-just...virgin oil remember?" I said with a shrug of my shoulders as I handed him a wash cloth while still looking the other way.

Germany glanced up at me with wide eyes. "You mean...you and Prussia never..." Germany trailed off as he stared up at me with a hopeful gaze.

"No, we've never done anything like that." _Unless you count the forced hand-job he made me do a few day__s ago._

Germany rubbed some water up his arms as he used the soap to wash himself up. I couldn't tell for sure, but Germany looked relieved at hearing that Prussia and I had never had sex. But _why would he..._

'_I thought you loved you me.'_

His words from the other night passed through my head; my eyes slowly widening at my own assumptions. Germany has been acting like a scorned lover ever since he found out about that letter. Could it be that he's jealous of Prussia? Of our fake relationship? _Does that mean tha__t he…_

I needed to get out of the room and clear my head for a moment. I felt as if I were about to start hyperventilating.

"Well I'll be downstairs if you need me Germany." I said sharply as I turned again to leave.

"Vait! Don't leave." Germany said the last part almost quietly. I stopped and looked at him once again; confusion evident on my tired face.

"You can stay up here if you vant. You don't have to go." Germany said while looking away and twisting the wash cloth in his hands. His dejected look tugged at my heart strings. It was rare to see Germany look so vulnerable; it reminded me of Holy Rome in a weird way.

"I'm just going to go clean that mess downstairs and then I'll be back up here ok?" I said with a small smile. I had no idea what suddenly brought this on. The other day Germany wanted nothing to do with me and now he wants me by him.

"Ja...Danke by the way."

I forced another smile before leaving the room to head downstairs; my stomach doing flips all the way.

* * *

It felt unbelievably good to be taking a bath. I hadn't washed in god knows how long so the warm water felt amazing on my tired body. I cupped some more water in my hands as I brought it up to splash over my face. I ran my hands through my dirty blonde hair as I lathered it with some more soap.

I looked down at my body again as I counted the number of bruises that adorned my chest and torso. Prussia and I had apparently gotten into a fight last night, and a pretty bad one from the looks of it. My head was still pounding as I tried to be mindful of the stitches that Italy told me about while washing my hair. The fight must have been intense if we both passed out in the living room.

I couldn't remember a thing from last night. The only thing I could seem to recall is drinking Prussia's secret stash of liquor yesterday. _Is that why we got into a fight? Because I had been drinking his liquor all day?_ I suppose I can ask Italy about the specifics of the fight when he gets back here.

I felt slightly ashamed of myself for making him help me to the bath tub. I knew damn well that the boy was beyond embarrassed at having to be so close to me with no clothes on. Yes, I was a little shaky on my feet but I've been through worse than this. I was perfectly capable of walking up the stairs and into my room to draw myself a bath. I just wanted Italy to be near me.

When he helped me off the couch, I didn't want to let him go. I liked being so close to him and knowing that he was trying so hard to help me sent a warm feeling through my chest. So I accepted his help without question and allowed him to carry me up the stairs and into my room. I knew I was taking it too far by getting him to help me to the tub; what with me being naked and all. But I didn't want to lose that feeling of being so intimately close to him.

And then to find out that he is still...a virgin; that he and Prussia have never done anything. My hopes slightly lifted at hearing that piece of information.

_But that still doesn't mean he's going to come running into your arms Ludwig. Or did you forget that it's Prussia that he loves?_

I gripped the wash-cloth harshly as I pictured my brother and Italy together. It made me want to beat the shit out of someone. I felt my blood come to a boil as I remembered my Bruder and Italy kissing; how the very thought of those two together drove me nuts.

_He's probably tending to his beloved Prussia right now._

"Dieser Scheißkerl! Er sollte hier bei mir sein und nicht mit meinem dummen Bruder rumficken." I scrubbed my arms harder as I grit my teeth in frustration. I suddenly stopped my insistent scrubbing and tried to take a deep breath. _Italy said he would be right back so I'll just wait for him._

And then we can continue this little discussion.

* * *

**Thanks again for all the reviews everyone. I love hearing what you have to say about the story.**

**And no, I couldn't think of ****a clever title for this chapter. When I finally finished up with this chapter it was like 2:30 in the morning so the title is basically how I felt when I was done ****writing. I can only imagine how tired Italy must be after going through all that crap wi****th no sleep.**

**Until next time everybody  
**

**mcpidy**

* * *

**Translations****:**

**Italian****:**

Dio – God

Grazie molte – Thank you very much

Mi dispiace fratello; veramente io sono. – I'm sorry brother; really I am.

Tu sai che io ti amo, ma devo farlo per mantenere al sicuro tutti e due. – You know I love you, but I have to do this to keep us both safe.

Questa è tutta colpa tua stupida. – This is all your fault stupid.

Stronzo – asshole

**Spanish**:

Buenos dias – Good Morning

mi buen amigo – my good friend

amor – love

pequeño hermano – little brother

**German:**

Verflucht – God dammit

Scheiße - Shit

Zur Hölle – Fucking Hell (there is no combination of those words in the German language..so I just translated them like this. The meaning is nearly the same)

Danke – Thank you

Dieser Scheißkerl! Er sollte hier bei mir sein und nicht mit meinem dummen Bruder rumficken. - That fucker, he should be up here with me dammit! Not fucking around with my stupid brother.


	10. Chug!

**Chapter 10 – Chug! **

**This chapter now has the translations. Sorry it took so long, been busy with everything!  
**

**The German in this chapter was translated by : Nelniel  
**

* * *

I filled up a small bucket with warm water as I looked for a clean wash cloth. The smell wasn't as bad when I walked into the living room but it still wasn't pleasant. I carefully carried the bucket and wash cloth into the other room as I knelt down next to the large mess on the floor. I felt my stomach lurch as I cleaned up the vomit that covered the floor. The contents were mostly liquor but there were chunks of something in the puke; probably wurst.

I hadn't even cleaned a fraction of the entire mess when I realized I was going to need another wash cloth. The one I was using was already was covered in vomit and beyond filthy. I held the dirty rag between my fingers as I quickly threw it away and found some more towels. _This is gonna take longer than I thought._

When I came back to the living room with a handful of towels I noticed Prussia starting to stir from his sleep. The man slowly began to crack his eyes open and sit up in the couch as he carefully touched his bruised nose.

"Verdammt seist du West! My fucking face iz killing me." Prussia mumbled to himself as he rubbed his tired eyes.

"How are feeling Prussia?" I asked as I moved some of the ashen hair out of his face to check the bruising.

"Like total shit. Vhere is my stupid bruder anyways?"

"He's up in his room. I don't think he remembers a thing from last night."

"Zats no excuse! He's going to get quite a talking to vhen I see him again."

I ignored Prussia's ramblings as I walked into the kitchen to grab his sleeping medicine. I came back with a tall glass of water and handed Prussia the two little pills. He grabbed them disdainfully and swallowed them with a grimace.

"Vhy does it smell like shit in here?" Prussia asked sourly as he looked around the living room.

"Germany threw up on the floor when he woke up and I'm trying to clean it up right now." I said as I motioned to the mess behind me.

"Jesus Christ..."Prussia ran his pale hands threw his hair as he stood up and wobbled towards the kitchen. I watched worriedly as he shakily made his way to the basement door all the while bumping into things in the kitchen. _That stubborn man is going to fall right down the stairs._

"Here Prussia let me help you; I don't want you falling down the basement steps." I caught him just before he started to descend down the stairs.

Prussia refused at first; saying how he was man enough to walk down the damn stairs by himself and that he didn't need any help. He eventually gave in when he almost slipped going down the first step. The Prussian collapsed onto the bed as soon as we got to his room. I was about to go back up the steps when I felt Prussia's unyielding grip on my arm.

"Stay down here vith me." It was not a question.

"I have to clean up that mess in the living room." I said while trying to pry his hand off me. Prussia looked as if he were about to argue but eventually sighed in defeat and began to remove his clothes.

"Vake me up for dinner ok?" Prussia said with a yawn as he took off his shirt.

"Si, try to get some rest."

"Ja ja."

I quickly turned back for the stairs when Prussia stood up and started to undo the belt buckle on his pants. I bristly walked back into the living room; glad to be away from the undressing Prussia. _How terrible is it that I'd rather be in here cleaning up Germany's vomit than with Prussia when he's getting naked?_

After many minutes of wiping up the putrid mess and trying my best not to throw up myself; I eventually got the living room cleaned up.

"Finalmente ho finito." I stood up and cracked my back as I tossed the dirty rags into the muck filled bucket. I walked into the kitchen and washed my hands in the sink; doing my best to get the rancid smell off them. I was just about to walk up the stairs and back to Germany's room when I heard a loud knock at the door.

_Is that be Japan? No, if it was Japan he would just come right in_._ So who could that be?_

Curious, I opened the door and found Germany's senior officer standing tall and proud in the doorway.

"Northern Italy, sir!" The officer saluted me in a practiced military fashion.

I quickly saluted him back; still confused on why exactly the man was here. It was then that I noticed Germany's troops standing a few feet behind him. There they stood, all in perfect lines and waiting for their next order.

"I came to ask vhere commander Ludvig is. Ve have training scheduled for zis afternoon." The large German man said as he straightened his back and patiently waited for a response.

_Crap! Germany scheduled a training session for today? This is just perfetto..._

"Uhh...ok...umm...uno momento per favore! I'll be right back." I quickly excused myself and ran up to Germany's room. I had almost forgotten that Germany was in the bathtub when I last left him. I knocked on his door and hoped the man was out of the bathroom and dressed in his clothes.

"Ja come in!"

I hastily walked inside and found that Germany's clothes were still sitting on the bed where I had left them. I felt my face begin heat up once again at the thought of being in the same room as a naked Germany. I still didn't know why I got so damn embarrassed. I was perfectly fine being naked around other people so why does the thought of a naked Germany make me blush like a young school girl?

_Well it's not like I haven't already seen him naked..._

"G-germany? Your troops are downstairs; the commander said you scheduled some training for today." I said timidly as I poked my head into the bathroom. Germany looked like he was just relaxing in the bathtub. His hair was all cleaned up and pushed back like it normally was. Overall he looked much better.

"My troops...shit! I completely forgot!" Germany slapped his forehead and pinched the bridge of his nose as he scolded himself.

"What should I tell them?" I asked as I leaned against the bathroom door.

Germany heaved a loud sigh before looking up at me with his trademark neutral face.

"Just tell zem za truth. I'll have to cancel training and reschedule it for anothza time." Germany sunk lower into the tub as he glared down at the water. I knew Germany hated neglecting his troops like this; but we both knew there was no way he was up for any kind of training today. A thought crossed my mind as I considering helping Germany out once more.

"I could train your troops for today."

Germany looked like I had walked up and slapped him in the face with a salmon. I knew the thought of me training his troops was flabbergasting but there was no need for him to drop his jaw to the floor. I was the commander of my Italian troops before Germany came along after all. _Well maybe that's not such a good example..._

"**You** vant to train meine troops for za day?" Germany asked with utter disbelief.

"Well it's not good to cancel a scheduled training session and I've watched you command your troops plenty of times to know what to do. So what do you think? I'm willing to train your troops with your permission of course."

Germany sat and pondered the idea for a moment. I had no clue if he was going to give me permission or not. I was fine with either decision really; even if he said no that just meant I could finally get some sleep.

Finally Germany let out a long breath as he looked back up at me with those intense blue eyes of his. He straightened his back and looked me dead in the eye with such seriousness that I knew he meant business.

"Ok, I vill let you train zem for zis afternoon. But I vould feel better if you had Japan vith you...vhere iz zat man anyway?" Germany asked with a slight tilt of his head.

"Japan left a note saying that you kicked him out last night after an argument you two had. His note said he would be back in the morning but I haven't seen him."

Germany's eyes widened at hearing that he and Japan had gotten into an argument. He looked more surprised than I did when I first read the shocking note. Germany seemed to struggle for words like a fish out of water.

"Vhy...Vhat did...fuck..vergiss es. Are you sure you can handle zis? Zhese are my troops after all." Germany gave me a hard look as he ran his hand through his blonde locks. Honestly I wasn't sure if I could handle Germany's troops. They were a tough, no-nonsense bunch that were raring to fight in the war already_. And I was just meek, little Italy to them. Would they even follow my orders knowing I had Germany's permission?_

"I can do this." I said with determination as I saluted Germany.

Germany looked confused for a moment before a saddened look dawned his face. His mouth turned down in a scowl as he clenched his jaw. Something about this obviously upset him.

"Vhy are you doing this?" Germany whispered as he looked away from me. I studied Germany for a moment. He looked almost guilty; like a kicked puppy. _I suppose it would seem strange for me to help him; considering everything he's done up until now._

I looked up at Germany with a sad smile.

"Because you're my friend. Best friends forever remember?" I held up my pinkie in remembrance of our pact. Germany looked hurt by my gesture; as if he were about to break down and cry at any moment.

"R-right." Germany stuttered as he nodded his head with permission.

I left the bathroom promptly; not wanting to linger with that awkward feeling suffocating the room. I knew that awkward funk would have caught up to Germany and I sooner or later. Germany felt bad for the things he did to me the other day and I felt bad for turning his life into shit by writing that letter. I knew unless one of us apologizes we'll keep having that awkward feeling every time we see each other.

Walking downstairs I quickly thought up a game plan to train the troops for this afternoon. _My idea is pretty damn good too if you ask me._

I walked outside and into the bright sunshine as I watched the troops eye me up with scrutiny. I lost my nerve for a second before I remembered my idea and pushed forward. I stood in front of the senior officer and saluted him; the large man doing the same to me.

"At ease soldiers."

The troops relaxed there stances but remained in their perfect lines. I took a good look at Germany's troops. Most of them were pretty young; some in their early twenties while others looked like teenagers. They may all have looked different but that steely determination shined bright in all of their eyes.

"Germany will not be down here to direct your training today. I'm afraid he and Prussia got into a fight last night and that neither of them are in good enough condition to be out here today." I said loud and clear to the rows of troops. I tried to speak as clearly as I could since I knew my heavy Italian accent threw them off at times.

"Is training cancelled for today sir?" The senior officer asked directly.

"No, I will be taking Germany's place just for this afternoon."

The troops all gave each other sideways looks as others whispered and looked at me with uncertainty. The whispering got louder as more of them turned to talk to their fellow comrades.

"Ruhe! Keiner von euch hat die Erlaubnis zu sprechen!" The senior officer yelled at the troops as they all quickly shut up and resumed their positions. _I hope this all goes smoothly._

"Now your training for today will be to play a game of football!" I yelled excitedly with a clap of my hands.

...

"Football sir?"

"Yes! Football is an excellent sport that practices teamwork and endurance; it's the perfect way to train and have fun while doing it." I smiled at the stunned troops as they stared at me like I'd grown a third arm. Once the shock wore off though the troops straitened their backs and saluted as they got themselves organized. The senior officer split the troops up into two teams and elected himself to be the referee.

I stood on the sidelines and directed the soldiers as they played an intense game of football. Much like Germany; the troops played liked their life was on the line. The soldiers moved like tanks as their kicks rocketed over through the ground. They were all no-nonsense and straightforward as they kicked the ball across the field and practiced their teamwork skills. The German troops played hard and fast as the two teams fought for victory. It was one of the most intense games of football I'd seen in years.

I did have to help direct them at times. Again like Germany; the troops had trouble staying nimble on the field. Some of them did trip over each other while fighting over the ball or trying to make a pass. Others had a bit too much umpf to their kick and nearly took out other members of their team. But the troops did take my directions without question. No surprise considering they were Germany's soldiers. I had to commend them for their efforts.

"Va bene! Good work today everyone!" I congratulated the troops as they stood around and tried to catch their breaths. Although none of them said it out loud; I could tell they had some fun today.

"Thank you for today Northern Italy sir!" The senior officer saluted me as did the rest of the troops.

"Dismissed soldiers." I saluted the troops with a proud smile on my face.

I rubbed my tired eyes as my muscles screamed from the strain of being up for so long. I was about to turn and walk back towards the house when I heard someone clear their throat from right behind me. Five of Germany's troops stood with sheepish grins and playful smirks. I noticed that these were some of Germany's younger troops; most of them between the ages of 17 and 20. The tallest of the group came up to me with bright enthusiasm in his gray-blue eyes.

"Permission to speak, Northern Italy sir?"

"Please call me Feliciano."

The man smiled brightly before he continued.

"Some of us were wondering if you'd like to come to the pub vith us" The soldier motioned to his friends beside him. The troops next to him were chuckling and whispering to each other as their large friend tried to convince me to come up to the bar with them.

"Any other time I would love to but I've had a long day and-"

"But you have to come up! Ve're all going up to za Bierwirtschaft to have a good time! Please you have to join us; it'd be insulting if you didn't." The German pleaded with big blue eyes as he looked at me with his boyish charm. My will wavered for a moment. It was true I was beyond exhausted from being up with no sleep but I had always wanted to have drinks with Germany's troops. I'd heard plenty of crazy drinking stories from Germany about his troops and it made me want to join them on their alcoholic escapades.

"Ok!"

* * *

"******Trink! Trink! Trink**"

The German troops chanted and cheered as I downed my seventh glass of German beer and slammed it back onto the table. I hiccuped before letting out a loud belch that I'm sure the people in France probably heard.

"JA!"

Plenty of the troops slammed me on the back and laughed at my silly drunk behavior. It felt good to just let loose and have fun for a while. I'd been having such a stressful week that I had almost forgotten what it felt like it act to be a fool and have some fun. I grinned happily as the troops ordered another round of beers and passed them around jollily. Germany's soldiers sat around and told funny stories from their time spent in the military.

Lutz, a new grunt, had been target practicing in a wheat field when one of his bullets ricocheted off a piece of metal and nearly hit him in the crotch. Lutz said he had been begging the doctors to do everything they could to save his 'German balls'. An older officer, Klaus, had been walking down a dirt road by himself when a partridge flew out of the bushes and onto his head. Klaus's friend had come running up the road hearing his screams, and found him wrestling with the bird on his head before tripping and rolling down a nearby ditch. On his first day on the job, field medic Bernhard had been treating a wounded soldier on the field when a large bug had flown into his mouth causing him to choke. The soldier he had been treating ended up having to give him the Heimlich maneuver.

I laughed alongside Germany's troops as we all shared stories of our own. I felt a tug on my shirt and found the grey-blue eyed soldier, Christof; holding up a packet of cigarettes and motioning for me to follow him outside. It had been a while since I had a cigarette, and so I followed the large German outside for a quick smoke. The cool fresh air hit my face as we walked into the cool night streets. Christof and I walked into a nearby cobblestone alley and leaned against the wall as we lit up our smokes.

"Schöne nacht ja?"

"Yes, I love these cloudless nights. I think the stars look especially beautiful in your country."

Christof looked back at me with tenderness before smiling that boyish smile of his. I couldn't help but grin back; his smirk was contagious. I stared up at his young face; his dirty-blonde hair was combed back while some stray hairs fell to the sides and on his forehead. He was one of the youngest soldiers in Germany's army despite being one of the largest men in his military. He was muscled and yet lean in his stature; a perfect German soldier. And yet he was so care-free and sociable. So much unlike the certain German I knew.

"So tell me, vhat is Italy like?" Chistof asked with eagerness.

"There is so much I could say about Italy that I wouldn't know where to start. Well it's lovely for one thing. There's just this certain feeling in the air that you can't find anywhere else. Waking up in Italy is one of the most pleasurable things you could ever experience." I said in a very dream-like state.

I didn't notice the lusty look in Christof's eyes as he took another drag of his cigarette.

"Feliciano, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

Christof looked as though he became flustered at what he was about to ask. He tried to loosen the collar of his uniform before glancing at me bashfully.

"Do you recall zat day vhen you and Prussia...kissed?"

"U-uh Si."

"A-are you and Prussia...you know...t-together?"

I was a bit stunned at what he was asking. I was even more confused as to why he looked so embarrassed. _Maybe this kind of topic is uncomfortable for all Germans?_

"No, there's nothing going on between me and Prussia. That kiss was just how my people say goodbye to good friends." I didn't want the whole world to find out about my situation back at the house. Christof looked surprised by my answer before blushing once more.

"S-so you're single ja?"

He looked so flustered; like a kid asking out his first crush.

"Um I suppose so, yes."

From hearing those words Christof suddenly had a determined look on his handsome face. He flicked his cigarette away as he stood in front of me and timidly leaned down for a kiss. His actions took me completely by surprise; the mass amounts of alcohol slowing down my reaction time. Christof nervously brought his hands up to cup my face as he deepened the kiss. I tried to resist at first but after a few moments I found myself melting under his touch. He was so careful and yet passionate. I ran my hands up his broad chest as I wrapped my arms around his neck. After what felt like an eternity of making out under the moonlight; Christof broke the kiss and leaned down to whisper into my ear.

"Do you vant to come home vith me?" The man was breathless.

I looked into his bright, young eyes so full of love and promise. I felt safe in his large arms as he held me against him. I didn't want to leave his comfort. There was nothing else on my mind but this strong boy in front of me. At that moment, it was just me and him.

"Yes."

* * *

**Hope you all liked this chapter! **

**Here are the translations. Now that the apartment is situated I have to go freak out about school. Nooo!  
**

**Until next time**

**mcpidy**

**Translations:  
**

Verdammt seist du West! - God damn you West**  
**

Du – You

meine- my

Fuck...Vergiss es (Germans also say fuck because the direct translation would make no sense xD it's more related to sexual context) - fuck never-mind

Ruhe! Keiner von euch hat die Erlaubnis zu sprechen! - Quiet! None of you have permission to speak!

Trink! Trink! Trink! - Drink! Drink! Drink!

Schöne Nacht - Beautiful night


	11. Sunshine

**Chapter 11 – Sunshine  
**

**The German used in this chapter was translated by: Nelniel  
**

* * *

I blinked my dreary eyes as I rolled over on the soft bed. Despite my pounding headache I felt relatively calm. I hadn't felt so relaxed in weeks; it was quite pleasant to say the least. I hummed into the pillow as I felt warm rays of sunshine hit my face. I pulled the soft covers more towards me as I listened to the distant sound of a large clock ticking. I suddenly felt the covers being pulled away as the cold morning air rushed through me. With my eyes still closed I felt around for the covers and hauled them back over to me as my body bristled from the cold air. Just as soon as I pulled back the blanket however, they were once again snatched away from my shivering body. I grumbled and rolled over on the bed to see what the heck was up. My sight was still blurry as I tried to focus on what was in front of me. Lying on my side, I watched as a large lump rolled over as well and opened his bleary blue eyes at me. We both stared at each other as the minutes slowly went by. It took us both a great while before our brains finally caught up to us.

"AAAHH!" The two of us both fell off of the sides of our bed as we realized who our bed partners were.

I fell onto my butt as I looked up at the flustered German trying to scramble off the bed.

"Northern Italy sir!" Christoff stood up straight and saluted me. With his hair a compete mess and his uniform ruffled he made for an interesting sight. I looked around the room in confusion as I tried to recollect how I got here. I didn't recognize the room at all. The room looked somewhat like a pub loft. The rooms the pub rented out to people who needed a place to stay for the night.

"Where are we?" I croaked out, my throat still raspy from last night's drinking.

"I think ve are in a Gästezimmer. I'm not sure vhich one though." Christoff ran a hand through his messy hair and sat down on the end of the bed.

I looked at the ruffled sheets on the bed with dread in my stomach.

"Did we..." It was barely a whisper.

"Nein...I don't think so." Christoff motioned down to our fully clothed bodies.

I slowly got up off the floor and sat down next to Christoff. I rubbed my hands down my face and looked down at the wooden floorboards. Christoff laid back down with a grunt, mumbling things in German. The memories from last night were slowly starting to come back to me. We were having a good time at the pub and I was enjoying the company of Christoff's presence. I remembered talking with Christoff in the alleyway and sharing a few cigarettes. I remember the large German taking my face in his hands as he kissed me.

We kissed.

"Oh mio dio santo."

Christoff sat up right then and looked at me worriedly.

"Feliciano?" I looked into Christoff's beautiful grey-blue eyes. They reminded me of storm clouds forming over a lake. The boy looked so worried by my flustered frame. He licked his lips before timidly moving some of the hair out of my face. I was touched by the simple gesture. It gave me a slight comfort.

I turned my head away while rubbing my temple. "I'm ok. I'm just very...I don't know." I looked over at the clock and saw it was 9:15 a.m.

Christoff opened his mouth to say saying, but quickly closed it. He did this for a few moments as if trying to find the right words to say.

"Do you...regret it?" It broke my heart to see the hurt in his eyes but I didn't know how to respond. I was confused, embarrassed, scared and everything in between. But did I regret the previous night? I didn't know.

I looked up at Christoff and was suddenly amazed at how young he was. A young man like him with the rest of his life ahead of him should not be fighting in a war. Throwing away his life away for the demands of an insane leader. Committing heinous acts in the name of his country. Sullying his hands with the blood of the enemy. This boy should have no part in any of that. He should be in school or working on his career. Not fighting in a pointless war.

"I understand if you do Feliciano." I looked back at Christoff as he stared at the floor with understandable rejection. He pushed back some of the dirty blonde strands that had fallen onto his forehead as he took a deep breath.

"But just so you know...last night was one of the best nights of my life." His eyes shined brightly as he flashed me a dazzling smile. I laughed and smiled back. I couldn't help it, that smile of his was contagious. I blushed when I looked down at our hands. I hadn't realized that he'd put his large hand over mine. Or that he was leaning towards me slightly.

My breath hitched in my throat as Christoff slowly leaned down towards my face. His eyes flashed up to mine for a moment. Hesitant. As if waiting for me to make a run for it. I neither leaned forward not did I push him away, I just remained still. Christoff then closed his eyes as he placed his rough lips on top of my own. He brought his other hand up to run through my hair and pull me closer. I felt his tongue run along my bottom lip as I opened my mouth to grant him access. I heard Christoff moan in approval as he delved his tongue into my mouth and prompted me to do the same to him. I hesitantly returned the kiss, moving closer to him as I did so. We both teased each other's tongues as we French kissed right on the bed. He was both shy and yet passionate at the same time. I loved it.

_If I had wings, I think they'd be fluttering right now._

I wasn't sure what I was doing, all I knew was that it felt nice. This boy held me so gently and kissed me with such passion. While living at Germany's house I was so controlled and dominated. It felt nice to do something of my own accord for once. It was nice being able to just kiss someone and not feel obligated to do so. It was such a relief to not have someone force my touch and become angered by having to do so. This young man didn't force me to do anything. I suddenly realized that I wanted to kiss this man. I wanted to be with him in his company. I wanted him to hold me and make me feel safe. I wanted this warm feeling to go on forever.

Christoff broke the kiss and looked at me with hazy eyes. Looking into his unsure gaze and tentative expression, so full of innocent puppy love, I felt myself melt a little. I took his face in both my hands and chastely kissed him on the lips. I felt him smile against my lips as he brought his arms around me and held me close to him. I loved how safe I felt with Christoff. The boy was so young and full of promise that I couldn't detect an ounce of bitterness in him. I wasn't sure what I felt for this boy, but I did know that I wanted to stay in strong embrace for as long as I could.

Christoff and I continued to kiss on the bed before I heard him grunt and sit up, placing me next to him. His face was blushing red as he ran his hands down his thighs and clutched at his knees. I was particularly confused by the whole thing until I noticed the very prominent bulge in his pants. I felt my own blush brighten my face as I stared down at his nether regions. It seemed as though the young German was easily excitable. Christoff caught my glance and quickly stood up, avoiding all eye contact.

"U-uh...I'm j-just going to...u-use za b-bathroom real quick." Christoff practically ran into the bathroom and quickly shut the door behind him. It didn't take a genius to know what he was doing there. I got up from the bed and walked over to the bathroom door after a few seconds went by.

"I'll be downstairs when you're done Christoff!" I said loudly while trying my best not to listen to the noises coming from the other side.

"J-j-ja!" The man could barely respond from the embarrassment in his voice. I smiled at his embarrassment and made my way out the door and down the steps. We were indeed in a pub. The downstairs bar area was empty except for the bartender setting the chairs onto the floor.

"Guten Morgen der Herr" The stubby bartender turned to me with a smile.

"Good morning." I took a seat on one of the bar stools and waited for the bartender to come around for my drink.

"What can I get you?"

"A glass of water please. Thank you."

I chugged the small glass and politely asked for another one. The cool water was doing wonders for my throbbing headache. I was on my fourth glass when Christoff took a seat beside me. His face was still flushed as he sat down and asked for a glass of water as well. The silence between us was beyond uncomfortable. Neither of us really knew what to say to each other as we sat and sipped our drinks. Finally the silence became unbearable as I turned to say something.

"Christoff...I..."

"Would you like to get some coffee with me?" Christoff interrupted me with a hopeful look. I was torn for a moment. I knew I was already treading in dangerous waters. I didn't tell anyone where I was going last night. If Germany and Prussia were up and trying to find me they wouldn't even know where to start looking. _But that's assuming they're up, they could still very well be asleep. And a hot cup of coffee sounds like heaven ri__ght now..._

"Ok but I can't be too long. I have to get back to Germany's soon." I couldn't shake the ominous feeling in my gut. I wanted to stay with Christoff but I was unsure if I could continue this. I did not want this man to get hurt by my own follies.

_A quick cup of coffee and that's it. _

Christoff took us to a usual coffee spot of his. It was a quaint little shop with an outdoor feeling to it. As it turned out we both took our coffee the same way: very sweet. I had to hold back a chuckle at the cheesiness of it all. It felt like we were a young couple going on their first date. I even got the butterfly feeling in my stomach whenever Christoff turned to smile at me. We took our seats at a table next to the window and slowly sipped our coffee. The sweet brew warmed my stomach nicely.

Christoff looked at me from across the table with a nervous smile.

"Did you know zat Germany has one of ze oldest coffee shops Europe? Coffe Baum opened up in 1694 and has been serving some of the best coffee in Leipzig ever since. If you ever get the chance I vould definitely recommend going there some day. I've heard their coffee is fantastisch." I could tell he was tense. I had a feeling that Christoff wasn't used to doing this sort of thing. Neither was I really, but for some reason I didn't feel anxious at all. Being near Christoff put me at ease; like I didn't have a care in the world.

"Have you ever been there?" I asked with a calming smile. I wanted to ease his jumpy nerves.

"Nein I've never been there myself, but I'd like to go there one of these days. I've been told zat they serve ze best coffee in Germany and some of ze best pastries as well." Christoff gripped his mug with both hands as he looked down at the cup nervously. He still spoke anxiously and his leg kept bouncing from all of the jitters he must have been feeling.

_I wonder if he's ever even been on an actual date before…._

"You should visit Italy some time. The coffee there is so much different from the roasts you get here. I'd even say Italy brews some of the best in the world." I smiled with pride as I thought back to the cup of coffee I had at my brother's house.

"Best in ze world? I don't care how different your Italian coffee might be, it cannot compare to Germany's." Christoff was grinning teasingly as he sipped his coffee. His earlier jitters slowly started to dissipate as he finally began to relax. I laughed at his teasing attitude and relaxed in my chair along with him.

"How would you know if you've never tried it? I'm telling you; once you've tried Italian brewed coffee you'll never want anything else."

"I'll have to go there sometime and try zis amazing coffee then." His smile was one of unwavering passion. The tiny gesture made my heart jump.

_What are you doing Feliciano? It could never work out with this boy and you know it. Or did you forget about your situation with Prussia?_

As much as I desperately wanted to forget about that awful situation, it still poked at the back of my mind. How could I forget about the crazy man living in Germany's basement? The man that took what he wanted and gave me nothing but grief in return. Prussia who guilted me into a fake relationship and beat me if I didn't comply with his whims. I did not want to leave this wonderful man to go back to that monster in disguise.

_But I don't want to put Christoff in danger…._

"Christoff…we can't do this." I set my cup on the table and looked away

The beautiful smile fell from his face as he looked at me with sadness.

"Vhat do you mean?" He sat up straight and took on a worried expression.

"We cannot continue this thing. You know as well as I do that these types of relationships are not allowed in the military. If someone were to find out it would spell trouble for both of us and I don't want you to get hurt." It was the truth. Relationships such as these were strictly forbidden in the military. If someone were to even suspect something you risked losing your position in the army. Not to mention these kinds of things were greatly frowned upon by other people.

Christoff slumped back in his chair and contemplated my words in his head. So many emotions ran through his face before a determined look dawned on him. His eyes were still cautious as he leaned forward on the table and looked me with conviction.

"Ve can keep it a secret Feli. Ve don't have to let anyone know. I know these are dangerous vaters we're treading in, but to tell you za truth; zis is ze happiest I've been in a long time." His lip quirked up in a crooked smile as he glanced up at me with a dream-like expression. The morning sun light from the window made his grayish eyes look even brighter.

He picked up his spoon from inside his napkin and began to stir some more cream into his coffee. I watched as the coffee turned into a light caramel color.

"I don't know if you remember zis but the first time ve met was vhen Germany first introduced you to ze troops. It vas my first time in za army so I was scared shitless. Ve all stood up straight as Germany approached us vith you right beside him. You introduced yourself so flagrantly it took me completely by surprise. I'd never met someone as cheerful and optimistic like you before. You vere like a varm ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. I hadn't realized how fast my heart vas beating from vatching you goof around vith Germany. I guess I liked you right from ze start Feli." Christoff was still looking out the window as he took another drink of his coffee. His boyish face saddened as watched the cars go by.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I'd never known the young man felt so strongly.

Christoff laughed dryly as if scolding himself.

"I vas too shy to say anything to you. You vere a charismatic Italian and I vas a socially awkward German. I didn't vant to make a fool out of myself and end up saying something stupid to you. So I just admired you from afar. Admiring za way you always seemed to brighten the training field." His smile was laced with sadness and want. There was a giddy feeling inside me knowing that someone had a crush on me. No one had ever spilled there heart out to me before. It felt nice to be wanted. To know I was someone's sunshine.

_I want to get to know this boy._

I leant forward on my elbows as I flashed him a charming smile. "Please tell me about yourself Christoff."

The young man was surprised by my sudden request but obliged me none the less. I sat quietly in the humble coffee shop and gradually sipped my delicious coffee as I listened to the young German. My full attention was on the man in front of me, there was no one else.

Christoff was born in Germany on September 18th 1922. He grew up in the countryside with his parents, his older brother Lars and his little sister Gretel. His little sister always followed him around like a little duckling growing up. She was also a little explorer as he told me, always wanting to do new things. Christoff was only 7 when Gretel got to close and spooked one of their horses. He told me he was busy playing marbles when she took off towards the stables. He didn't think anything of it since she loved to help mom feed the horses. Gretel was behind the horse she'd accidentally spooked and was trampled instantly. Christoff told me even though his parents never said it or treated him any differently; he knew they blamed him for that incident. His brother Lars always told him otherwise though. Told him he was an idiot for even thinking such a thing.

His mother was a seamstress while his father ran a modest bakery which he and his brother had also worked in. Their family's bread was some of the best in town. People would come for miles to buy their father's fresh baked bread. It was their pride and joy. His father, Otto Baecker, served in World War 1 as one of the many German soldiers in the trenches. Otto was only in the army for 1 year before he was killed on August 6th 1915 by extensive burns from a mustard gas attack. The loss of his father took a great toll on his family. He and his older brother Lars had to run the bakery themselves to keep the family afloat. Their mother became deathly ill and could not help them during those times. Christoff told me his mother's sickness was because of the loss of their father. They were able to make it through the war though. Lars ended up taking over the bakery while Christoff did his best to get an education. Their mother returned to her sewing but she was very different after the loss of their dad. Christoff told me she was never the same after that.

Things were ok for a while. Lars loved his job at the family's bakery, their mother started to smile again and Christoff was furthering his education just like his father had wanted him to. Christoff's family was one of the few that got by ok after the war. Most of their friends and neighbors were not as lucky however. It seemed as though the whole country was in an uproar over Germany's outcome from the Versailles Treaty. It wasn't long before talk of another war reached everyone's ears. Of course Christoff's family wanted nothing to do with another war after the tragic loss of their father. Their mother started to become increasingly worried when Adolf Hitler became the chancellor of our country. Christoff's family was very wary with the coming of the National Socialist German Workers' Party and Hitler's private SS soldiers. To Christoff it was like they were above the law. Like they could do whatever, they wanted as long as it was for the good of the country.

"It was scary" Christoff was looking down at the table as if reliving the memory.

"They just kept increasing in numbers until I realized my own friends and neighbors vere vearing zose verdammten Zeichen. Soon I noticed people started to flee za country in fear. Others I noticed disappeared altogether. My family didn't know vhat to do. Ve didn't vant to leave our home of Germany; I loved my country dearly as did za rest of my family. But it wasn't long before the military came knocking on our doorstep and mein Bruder and I were recruited into za army."

The look on Christoff's was a weary one. _A man that has had a long life._

"Do you support what your leader is doing?" I needed to know.

He looked unsure of himself. I'm sure the question was tough for him. I knew deep done that Christoff loved his country and that he wanted Germany to succeed but I think he also knew that what his leader was doing was wrong.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know." He ran a tired hand down his face. "I try not to think about the atrocities my people have been doing to the Jewish community. I try to turn a blind eye to it all...but those thoughts still poke at the back of my mind. Faces of people I've seen. People I grew up vith. Little children being carted away, never to be seen again. I vant to help my country get back on its feet but I feel like ve're going about it za wrong way. None of zis feels right. Do you support what your country is doing Feli?" His eyes were so innocent. I knew he had not yet committed those atrocities himself, but we both knew that day would rear its ugly head eventually.

I took a moment to ponder his question."No...in this case I do not." I did my best to be truthful.

"I knew it was a bad idea from the start. Italy was still crippled from the first war and my people did not want to fight again. I knew when my country's boss began to listen to that maniac Mussolini that my people were in trouble. I had no choice though. I had to go along with what my boss told me, no matter how much I didn't want to at first."

"At first?" Christoff quipped quizzically.

I smiled sadly before I continued.

"I didn't have any friends at that time, all I really had was my brother Romano. When I first met Germany, I was instantly captivated by him. He was strong and determined and I knew he would make a great ally. I started to follow him around after that, enjoying the company of another fellow nation. After a while I grew quite fond of Germany and his robust attitude. It wasn't long before I started to call him my friend. I cherished our friendship dearly even though Germany refused my offer countless times. Germany eventually accepted my offer of friendship after some time and we became allies. We even made a pact that we would be best friends forever." I closed my eyes and recalled that day out in the grassy fields. There was a slight breeze that day.

"Za Pact of Steel ja?"

"Si, Germany and I made a pact that we would always look out for one another. I was so glad to be helping Germany when we first became allies. I felt proud of myself to be fighting alongside such a powerful nation like him. I really wanted him to win this war..."

I took a long sip of my coffee.

"But then I started to hear stories. I didn't want to believe them at first. I told myself it was just France spreading mean rumors again to try and make Germany look bad. I was in denial for so long until I saw the stories for myself with my own eyes. It was here in Germany that I saw it. People were being dragged out of their homes and put to death right in the middle of the street. I had never seen anything so horrific in my life. I turned and ran after witnessing that. Germany told me not to do back there again, that I didn't need to see such things. I knew Germany hated it just as much but his hands were tied. Like me, he had to follow his boss's orders no matter what anyone thought." I finished up the last of my coffee and stared out the window. The city was bustling out in the streets.

"I'm glad I'm not za only one who feels za same vay as I do." I smiled and allowed him to put his hand over mine. I liked how well his palm fit on my hand, like it was meant to be there.

"So am I." I rubbed by thumb along the skin of his hand. We sat there in relative silence as we held hands. I completely lost track of time while in the boy's company. He was just so enthralling. I looked up at the cuckoo clock on the wall and saw it was almost noon.

"I need to get going." I made no attempt to move my hand away from his.

"Can we see each other again...like this?" His face was so full of undying hope.

I hesitated for a moment. I had that sinking feeling in my gut telling me this was a bad idea. That I should cut all contact with this boy and go back to Germany's. _Back to my little slice of hell..._

I looked into his beautiful eyes. The way they looked at me with such love and adoration. I wanted to stare into those eyes forever."I would very much like to see you again Christoff." I just couldn't say no to him. I wanted to see him and feel that warm feeling again. I wanted to be with him and feel safe.

Christoff grinned his boyish smirk and quickly glanced around the shop to see if anyone was looking. With no one watching he leaned over the small table and captured my mouth in a heated kiss. It only lasted for an instant but I deeply wished for it to go on forever. Sitting back down with a sheepish smile he finished up his coffee and walked me to the door. We walked down the sidewalk for a few blocks until we stopped at a crossroad. Christoff said he had to check in with one of his officers on this street.

"Can we meet here again at this very spot? I have a weekend pass for this week so I will have time to see you." He spoke so jubilantly, he was positively glowing.

"Yes we can do that. We have to be careful though. No one can know about this."

"Whatever you say Sonnenschein."

I smiled at the little nickname. It sent my stomach in a flutter of butterfly wings. Still smiling, I leaned up on the tops of my toes to kiss him on both cheeks. I laughed at the slight blush I caused him. Christoff straitened his back and saluted me with a charming smile before making his way down the street.

With a little jump in my step, I happily turned around and walked back to Germany's house. My worries back at the house completely forgotten in that moment.

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**I hope you all like the new chapter. What do you guys think of Christoff and Italy by the way? I'm kind of curious :)  
**

**A big thanks to everyone that has reviewed so far. You guys rock!  
**

**Until next time  
**

**mcpidy  
**

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**German translation**:

Gästezimmer - pub loft

Guten Morgen der Herr - Good morning sir

fantastisch – incredible

verdammten Zeichen – damn Symbols

Sonnenschein - sunshine


	12. Only a matter of time

**Chapter 12 – Only a matter of time **

**Hello again! I know it's been a while ;p I'm hoping this lengthier chapter will make up for my absence. **

**First off let me just say how much I enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts on Christoff. Some of your comments were very interesting. I did notice that the majority of you seem to like Christoff and Italy as a couple; which is understandable. He's a young man in the prime of his life and is crushing big time on our little Feli. He's also not abusive like a certain two Germans. All in all their relationship is very much like your first crush; sweet and innocent. But we'll see if those two can actually work out or not. **

**Also there was only a bit of German used in this chapter so I had a friend quickly translate it for me. **

**I do apologize for such a long absence. School and work take up the majority of my free time these days. Nevertheless, I hope you all enjoy the new chapter :) **

* * *

The walk back to Germany's was surprisingly pleasant despite what was waiting for me when I got home. My thoughts were filled to the brink of the young boy I had kissed just moments ago. My heart did flips in my chest with the image of his boyish grin and bright eyes in my head. I couldn't wait to see him again. To be held so dearly in those strong arms. To hear that charismatic voice filled with hints of timidity. _To have him call me his sunshine once more._ I felt like skipping I was so giddy.

It almost felt weird being with someone and not have to feel obligated to be with them. Christoff was so much different than the two Germans I was normally accustomed to. Despite the boy's diffidence, he was fairly talkative and charismatic. Really, he was generally more pleasant to be around than Prussia or Germany. He really was like a breath of fresh air in my stifling life.

_But could an actual relationship really work with that boy?_

He was so young, practically a kid in comparison to me. I'd almost feel like a cradle robber if I were ever to bed with him. Even if a relationship could work out between us, we'd have such a short amount of time together. When that young boy reached the late age of adulthood, I'd still look the same as I do now. I nearly forgot how short a human's lifespan is compared to us nations that can live for centuries. Christoff has to be aware of this fact. Or is that he simply doesn't care? I would believe that such problems would prove to be no concern of him. He is such a care free man after all. And would such an age difference really matter? Could our relationship not stand the tests of time? Does love not conquer all?

_Wait…_

I stopped walking.

…_Love?_

_I thought Germany was your one and only love?_

My breath seemed to come to a halt as I thought of my strong German friend. "Germany…" I stared at the cracked sidewalk in front of me as I remembered my once dear friend.

The thought of Germany brought upon a crushing wave of guilt. It was like a knife was twisting itself from inside my heart. The shame of my actions was finally catching up to me. I felt like I had betrayed Germany by being with Christoff. For wanting to kiss another man that was not Germany. For taking delight in Christoff's company just like I used to enjoy being in Germany's. I had never wanted to be with anyone but Germany, the mere thought of doing otherwise made me scoff. But now everything seemed to change. I wanted to be with Christoff, to talk about nothing and just enjoy each other's company. I wanted to kiss him and never let go of his study build as he held onto me. I've never wanted anyone but Germany until now. The feeling left my mind spinning with confusion.

_How could I forget about Germany?_

'_You are going to tell him what I told you Italy. Or do you want me to throw you back in that shed again!'_

Germany threatening me.

'_You mean so you can go back and fuck your little boyfriend! Is zat vhat you vant?'_

Germany screaming at me.

'_Tell me Italy, did you like the feeling of mein älteren Bruder inside you? Did you cum like a little Hündin?'_

Germany throwing me into a door.

I squeezed my fists and kicked up a small cloud of dust.

_How could I forget about that?_

What did I have to feel sorry for? It's not as if Germany actually cares for my own wellbeing. He's done nothing but hurt me ever since the discovery of that letter. And even if my letter really did hurt him, it is no excuse for how he's been treating me. I deserved to have a happy life too. I deserved to enjoy myself, not constantly live in fear. Germany and Prussia were supposed to be my friends and protect me from danger, not be the cause of it. Germany especially, he was the one that promised to look out for me and always protect me. _But he's just like his brother. They're both the same._ My face scowled at the thought of them hurting me like they've been doing. As if they owned me.

_Christoff doesn't treat me that way. He treats me with love and respect unlike those two barbarians. I don't need to put up with their abuse when I've got someone that actually cares about me. Someone that smiles at me so tenderly and kisses me with such passion. I don't need Germany when I've got Christoff. _

I watched as a military jeep full of commanding officers drove by.

_But did this mean that I was finally giving up on Germany? What were my feelings toward the man now?_ I walked over to a nearby bench and sat under the shade of the trees. It was turning out to be a dark and gloomy day.

For as long as I can remember I've dreamt of being with Germany. I wanted to hear him tell me that he loved me and hold me just like Spain did to Romano. I've always wanted that same kind of relationship with Germany. That same type of unrequited love I've read about in those French romance novels. Where two people find each other against all odds and live happily ever after with the one they truly love. Germany was the only other person besides Holy Rome that I've ever loved. He was special in that way. I've even dreamed about being able to marry Germany someday. I've always day-dreamed how our wedding would be like and everything. Me in a beautiful white tux and Germany in striking black one. I would have wanted the wedding to be in Italy and the honeymoon in Germany. Everything would be perfect, just like him.

But Germany was not the perfect man I had once fantasized about.

He has his faults just like any other nation. He has a temper. He's easily frustrated. He snaps at people when angered. He can be bitter and spiteful. He yells a lot. He's insecure. He becomes angered when things don't go his way. He can be selfish. He sometimes throws things. His anger causes him to be irrational. He's demanding. He doesn't like to express his emotions. He's prefers to keep them bottled up until he explodes. He can be cold and cruel. He drinks to solve his problems. Or he drinks to drown out his emotions. He swears when he's drunk and says hurtful things. He's hurt me on more than one occasion. He gets violent when he's been drinking and lashes out. He's well known for using threats and intimidation to get what he wants.

He is not perfect.

He is not the knight in shining armor I once thought of him as. Germany is just as human as any regular person on the street. He has problems and flaws that I can no longer turn a blind eye to. It was stupid of me to think differently. Like he was this perfect man that could do no wrong. I knew better now. Germany is a cracked man underneath his strong façade. He has just as many inner demons as any other person. The only exception is that Germany chooses to drown those demons with endless amounts of alcohol. And when the alcohol doesn't work he lashes out at everything around him. Germany was no better than Prussia when it came right down to it.

I hung my head in my hands as I mentally scolded myself.

_How stupid of me to think that Germany would ever hold me and whisper sweet nothings into my ear. Those kinds of things are only found in fairytales. Only a fool would believe that such love is attainable to everyone. It's only for the lucky few, and clearly I am not one of them. _

_But…_

'_Sonneshien'_

That beautiful smile.

Maybe I could be one of them.

"Excuse me sir. Would you like to buy today's paper?"

I looked up to find a young paper boy with today's paper in his tiny hand. The boy couldn't have been older than 8 years old. That bag also seemed a little too big for him.

"Yes, thank you." I paid the young boy and read the large black letters covering the front of the newsprint.

**March 16****th**** 1943**

**Warsaw uprisings spotted in ghettos.**

Apparently there have been a number of Jewish resistance acts in Nazi occupied Poland. The Jews of the Warsaw ghetto have started uprisings and rebellions against the Nazi soldiers over the past several days. There are an estimated number of 400,000 Jews located in the Warsaw camps. A total number of 1,000 resistance fighters have been spotted in the ghettos so far. The total number of rebels continues to rise as the combatants continue to fight back against the German soldiers of occupied Poland.

"They are to be exterminated immediately." My voice was bleak and devoid of any emotion as I read the paper aloud. I knew that life in those camps was beyond unbearable but a resistance movement against Germany was futile. There were just far too many German soldiers for them to rebel against to make any sort of difference in this war. It was only a matter of time before these uprisings were stopped permanently. _Though, I commend them for their valiant efforts._

Before heading back to Germany's I picked up some aspirin from the local drugstore. My headache was starting to come back as it seemed.

* * *

Upon opening the door to Germany's house I was immediately greeted with shouting.

"How long does it take to go to za damn market!"

"I'm sure he'll be back any second now Prussia-san."

"Really Bruder must you make such a racket?"

"Like you're one to talk. You should have heard yourself last night vhen you fell through za damn door! I'm surprised you're not drunk right now considering it's almost noon."

"Shut your goddamn mouth Bruder!"

"Please you two, stop this fighting."

_At least Japan is finally back._ I quietly shut the door and stood in the doorway of the kitchen, my heart pounding from all the stress. Germany looked much better than he had been looking the past few days. He was actually dressed decent and his hair was nicely kempt how it normally was. He had taken off the bandages from his head but I could still see where the stiches were. Prussia was still black and blue. Both of his eyes were bruised and swollen while his nose still looked terrible. He also had a small cut on his upper lip from where Germany had punched him. Japan meanwhile looked very confused and frightened as he stood between the two Germans. _And honestly I don't blame him._

"Buongiorno." All three pairs of eyes landed on me as I suddenly felt like a rabbit caught by its predator. Germany was unsurprisingly agitated. Japan looked extremely uncomfortable. And it didn't take a genius to see that Prussia was beyond pissed. _Too late to run now._

"Vhere za hell vere you?" Prussia marched right up and got in my personal space.

"I already told you Prussia-san." Japan timidly walked up beside us but kept his distance from Prussia. Japan looked as though he were about to say something else when Prussia interrupted him with the foulest of glares.

His voice was a low bark. "I vant to hear it from him." His gaze turned back to me as my heart leapt in fear. Germany came up on the other side of Prussia, looking just as skeptical at my hesitation. I hated being put on the spot like this, especially when it came to my fellow Axis members. It didn't help matters when my mind suddenly decided to draw a blank. I didn't know what to say that would sound believable and calm Prussia's growing rage. _Well Japan did tell them I was at the market._

Clearing my throat, I tried to remain collected. "I was down at the market, getting some aspirin. I also picked up today's newspaper." I held up the paper with a forceful smile. To my own shock, I didn't stutter. Despite the angry glares staring me down, I held my ground perfectly. Prussia even seemed a bit taken back by my lack of fear. I couldn't tell if he believed me though. His glare told me he was still unconvinced.

"Uprisings in Varsaw? I knew something like zis vas going to happen." Germany took the newspaper out from under my arm, breaking the awkward tension in the air. Walking back into the kitchen Germany silently read the newspaper to himself, mumbling various things about the war. Japan begrudgingly followed behind him after receiving another spiteful glare from Prussia. I jumped when Prussia seized me by the arm and dragged me further into the living room. This left me alone with the angered Prussian. Though I kept my face meek, my heart was pounding a mile a minute. Nowadays I hated being left alone with the unruly Prussian. It was like being alone with an unstable time bomb that could go off at any given moment.

Prussia leaned down so that we were face to face and whispered heatedly. "If I find out you vere lying to me, I vill break your fucking legs. You understand Italien?" My eyes met his gaze with what little resolve I had. Deep down I knew perfectly well that Prussia meant what he said. I simply nodded my head in understanding. There was no doubt in my mind that Prussia would actually go through with such an awful threat. I just prayed that he never found out the actual truth. Christoff didn't deserve to get hurt because of my own stupid decisions. Prussia sneered at my continued silence and moved his arm like he intended to back-hand me.

"Italy?" I glanced behind Prussia to find Germany standing in the doorway, eyeing us both with scrutiny.

Prussia moved his arm back down. "Ve're in za middle of something West." He did not take his eyes off of me.

Germany ignored Prussia's comment with a heated glare and continued speaking to me. "Are you going to make breakfast Italy?" I was taken off guard by the question. I hadn't made us all breakfast since this whole disaster began. But right now I would do anything to get away from the steaming man in front of me.

"Si si, of course." I quickly moved around Prussia and went into the kitchen to start breakfast. I could hear Prussia and Germany mumbling to each other as I exited the living room. I briefly wondered if they had talked about the events from last night. _I wonder if Germany has been told about everything that happened?_ I was curious since the man had no recollection of his drunken rampage the previous night. With the two brothers in such a sour mood I was hesitant to ask myself.

Japan aided me in the kitchen while I prepared a simple breakfast. The two brothers begrudgingly sat down at the table while silently cursing each other. Japan looked just as nervous as I felt as we worked in the kitchen. I wanted to pull him aside and apologize a hundred times over for the terrible mess I had unintentionally caused. From the way Japan kept glancing at me, I could tell that he knew something was wrong between the two brothers and me. I faked bright smiles to reassure Japan that everything was ok but the Japanese man remained unconvinced with that impassive face of his. Dread filled me with the thought of Japan confronting me about this mess. I was not ready for such a confrontation, nor did I want my friend to get involved in this dangerous game.

I tried to pry my mind away from the worrisome thoughts and concentrate on my cooking. I decided on making a simple breakfast pizza skillet, a delicious recipe I had learned from my brother. I tried to pace myself and take my time with the various preparations. The longer I was in the kitchen the less time I had to spend with Prussia and his irritable brother. As much as I tried to concentrate on my work, I could not block out the unbearable tension radiating behind me. It seemed as though the brothers hadn't resolved their conflict from the other night. As per usual, they were ignoring the problem and letting their emotions bottle up and fester around them. Other than the slight noises that came from the work in the kitchen, the air was deathly silent. The tension was so bad it was almost suffocating. You could practically feel the hatred coming off of the two siblings. It saddened me to think that two brothers who used to be so close were now constantly at each other's throats.

But then again, this hatred felt as though it had been built up over years of tension. It made me wonder if they've always been like this. They are two sibling nations after all. _Two very stubborn and angry nations with a penchant for drinking I might add._ It was very typical for sibling nations to hold grudges against one another for whatever reason. It was not uncommon in our world for siblings to despise each other. Even I knew that Romano held a slight grudge against me for being Papa Rome's favorite grandson.

_Maybe that letter was their breaking point._

"Fucking nose is killing me…" Prussia grumbled as he drummed his fingers on the tabletop.

"Well maybe you should have ducked." Germany quipped smartly with a hint of detest.

Prussia slammed his fists on the table causing both Japan and I to jump. "Fick dich ins Knie, du Arschloch."

Germany growled at his brother and stiffly got up from his seat. I felt my pulse quicken when he came up beside me and started rummaging through the cupboards. He pulled out a bottle of wine I had hidden away and completely forgotten about. Twisting off the cap with his teeth he took a long swig of the Italian brewed wine. The expensive bottle was nearly gone as he slammed it back onto the counter with a loud clank. I sneered at his gluttonous need to drown himself in alcohol and the fact that he used **my** wine to do it. Apparently Germany was starting to care less about proper manners and more about his own selfish needs. I wanted to say something; to tell him that was my wine he just gulped down without any consideration whatsoever. It wasn't fair that he got to cavort around like a spoiled youth while I had to constantly walk on eggshells. Germany glanced my way when he caught my glare and I immediately turned my head. Despite my anger at him, I did not want to start an argument. Germany on the other hand leant down towards me and scrunched his nose in disgust.

"Vhy do you smell like za pub?" Germany grumbled as he narrowed his eyes suspiciously. I glanced nervously at Prussia; the man was currently staring out the window and not paying attention to us. Before I could even thank god that Prussia hadn't heard him, Germany spoke again.

"I asked you a question Italy." Germany spoke a little louder as his irritation started to show. Now we had Prussia's attention. The man moved his glaring red eyes to me as he directed his full attention towards the two of us.

_Merda_

"Vhat did you say West?" Prussia narrowed his eyes and asked loudly. I gripped the wooden spoon in my hand like a life support as I felt all color drain from my face. If Prussia found out about the pub he was going to lose it. He went nuts when he thought I visited Spain's without telling him. If he found out I went to the pub, kissed a young German soldier, went home with him afterwards and joined him for coffee the next morning…

I may have to break my alliance with the Axis sooner than expected.

Both brothers waited impatiently for an answerer, to which I had none to give. Well I had answers; I just wasn't stupid enough to voice them aloud. I honestly thought about making a dash for the door. I had no idea what to say that would seem even remotely believable. I couldn't cover up the strong smell of the pub or the faint smell of cigarette smoke on my shirt. Moreover I knew that truth or lie, Prussia was not going to be happy with me. Which ultimately meant more physical and mental pain on my end. I did not want to stick around for that to come. Just when I was mentally planning my escape route, Japan timidly spoke up.

"Italy and I were at the pub last night."

My head whipped around towards Japan as stared at me with dishonor clear in his bottomless eyes. I could not contain the fear I felt for my friend or the guilt that came right after it. He knew there was something going on here. The small man was no fool, he saw right through my charade with the eyes of a vigilant hawk. I knew now that it was pointless trying to act for him and pretend to be happy. Japan bought none of it, if his shameful gaze was anything to go by. He may not have known the specifics, but to him they were unneeded at the moment. Japan didn't need specifics when he saw what was going on before his eyes.

Because right now he saw a friend in deep trouble.

"Vhat! Who said you could take my boyfriend out?" Prussia knocked his chair back as he abruptly stood up. The spoon I had been desperately clutching hit the floor with a 'thunk' as I moved back against the counter. I knew these actions were only signifying my guilt but I was too scared to care at that point. I silently pled with Japan to think of a convincing story and calm the mad Prussian. I was almost shaking with fear as Prussia walked around the table to stand in front of us.

Japan looked up at Prussia with a strong resolve. "After you and Germany went to bed, I asked Italy to come up to the pub with me. I knew he had been having a rough week with the war and all so I thought a few drinks would cheer him up. I meant no disrespect." Japan spoke calmly and assuredly to appear as convincing as possible. With Japan's support I was able to collect myself better and stop my trembling. I was slightly grateful for Japan's minor intervention into this situation even though I felt terrible for getting him involved. I just prayed he wouldn't get dragged deeper into this sinking mud-hole of a mess.

"You took **my** Ita-chan out for drinks vithout telling me? Vhile I vas passed out in za basement with a broken nose, you and Italy vere out at ze pub having a grand old time? Did I hear zat correctly?" Prussia stared down the shorter man with clenched fists that were trembling with rage. I quickly glanced over to Germany who was mixture of confusion and irritation. I began to worry when the man made no indication to intervene and stop his brother from getting too close to the fear-stricken Japan.

_What do I do? Germany's no help and this situation is escalating way too fast. I need to calm Prussia down somehow, but what can I do that won't result in more violence? If I try to defend Japan he'll only get more upset. Dio, I will never forgive myself if Japan gets hurt because of this._

An absurd idea popped into my head in that instant and once again, I acted before thinking.

I turned on the Italian charm as I spoke dotingly. "Gilbert mio dolce tesoro, please don't get so worked up over something so trivial. You're still recovering amore." I ran my hand up his arm to sooth his tension and watched as the anger dissipated almost instantly. Though I had zero experience in the relationship department, one thing I knew how to do well was flirt.

I had a feeling that Prussia would be a sucker for sweet talk. As it turns out my suspicions were right on the money. Prussia's tense body deflated as his eyes took on a softer gaze. I could tell he greatly appreciated the tender affection I was giving him. Though it left a cold feeling in my gut to deceive him like this, I didn't allow my discomfort to show as I flashed him a charming smile.

Prussia timidly smiled back, reveling in the attention he was receiving. The smile faltered for a moment when he sent one more glare back at Japan. "Do not take Italy out vithout my permission first. Is zat clear?"

My eyes fell to the floor in shame at being referred to like an object. It was utterly humiliating. Japan, knowing this was no way to treat someone, glanced my way in question. My face still held that forceful smile while my eyes begged him to agree with the Prussian.

_I know he's being an ass Japan…just go along with it…for both our sakes. _

Japan directed his eyes to the side, refusing to meet either of our gazes. "Hai, Prussia-san." The words were clipped with indignation.

"Gute." Prussia straitened his back in an arrogant manner before glancing over at me. I had to hold back a wince when he smirked and roughly pulled me in for a quick kiss. Begrudgingly I returned it despite my extreme discomfort of having his lips upon my own. Forcing my mouth into a grin, I smiled back at Prussia as he sat down at the table in a much better mood. At seeing Japan's gawking face I probably would have laughed if the situation hadn't been so bleak. I was sure he was more confused than ever after witnessing that firsthand.

_What an exhausting morning this has become…and it's not even noon. _

My brow scrunched in confusion when I noticed Japan's rapid change to a fearful expression. My brain caught up to speed as I remembered the person standing behind me. I had nearly forgotten about the irritable German with a bad drinking problem standing in the back this whole time.

Turning around made me wish I hadn't. Germany was staring directly at me with piercing blue eyes of cold hatred. Those eyes made me want to crawl into a deep hole where no one could find me and never come out. I shrunk back from his penetrating gaze as Germany bared his teeth in a sneer. The scornful look contorted his normally handsome features into something grotesque and monstrous. Almost unrecognizable from the Germany I was so familiar with. I couldn't think of a word to say to him. I didn't really want to say anything to him, already knowing that it would be pointless. I felt like we were getting to that stage where neither of us could stand each other.

My voice remained silent as Germany grabbed his coat and stiffly moved towards the exit.

"Are you not going to join us for breakfast Germany-san?" Japan worriedly asked our leader as Germany paused with his hand on the kitchen doorknob.

"I'm not hungry." Germany slammed the door a moment after.

Prussia grabbed the paper that Germany had left on the table and rolled his eyes at his brother's childish behavior. Japan turned back to the counter with a disappointed façade and bristly started chopping the onions. I couldn't believe that such a harmless letter could cause so many problems. This house was falling apart at the seams and it seemed as though there was nothing I could do to stop it. This dilemma couldn't have happened at a worst time either with the nearing of the climax of the war. I was still torn between saving my own skin and wanting to stick by friends. A small part of me still felt terrible at the thought of abandoning them.

"Zat boy needs to get his shit together if he has any hope of vinning zis war." Prussia said aloud as he read todays paper.

"I'm sure Germany is just stressed about the news of the Warsaw uprisings." Japan spoke like he was trying to reassure himself more than anything.

Prussia snorted. "I don't know where you've been, but West has **been** stressed. As a leader he shouldn't be letting his personal problems get in za way of his military duties. Back in my day, I never allowed such things to interfere vith my responsibilities as commander."

Japan said nothing as we finished up the breakfast dish and started filling up plates. I grabbed mine and Prussia's plate while Japan brewed a quick mug of coffee. Setting the newspaper aside Prussia dug right into his meal with vigor. With Prussia stuffing his face I took notice of Japan fiddling with the coffee. What I thought was a bottle of spice in his hand was actually turned out to be a pill bottle. It was Prussia's sleeping aid medication. I returned my eyes to my plate when Prussia noticed I wasn't eating. Pecking at my food, I watched from the corner of my eye as Japan poured a large cup of coffee and handed it over to Prussia.

"Danke." His eyes were still on the food as he grasped the mug.

I poked at my food while Japan and Prussia gradually ate theirs. My appetite had waned over the past several days. Even my insatiable craving for pasta had died down a great deal. I hadn't been feeling like myself since the start of my fake relationship with Prussia. My time here at Germany's had begun to cause me mass amounts of pressure and trauma. This left me feeling unbearably strained and rarely the jubilant person I normally was. My smiles were now forced and my attitude was less than optimistic. Most of the time I felt like the energy was being sucked right out of me, leaving me a drained and empty shell. I felt much older than I was and the feeling left me exhausted. I wasn't sure how much longer I could last in this state without completely losing it. This place that I had once called my second home was quickly turning into my own personal madhouse.

Prussia was the first to finish as he stood up and placed his plate in the sink to thoroughly wash it. When he finished with the overly compulsive cleaning Prussia walked back over to me and planted a kiss to my temple.

"Thank you for ze meal, Ita-chan. Za food vas superb." He whispered against my cheek as I forced another smile onto my face.

"It was my pleasure Gilbert." Pleased with the response, Prussia grabbed the newspaper along with his coffee cup and headed off into the living room to finish reading the paper.

When I was certain he was out of ear shot I spoke quietly. "How much did you put in his drink?"

Japan did not look from his plate. "Enough to give us prenty of time to talk."

We ate in relative silence as I tried to take a few bites of my breakfast. When we finished I poked my head into the living room and found Prussia passed out on the couch. His chest rose and fell in a rhythmic fashion, a clear sign he was fast asleep. I could feel Japan standing behind me as I watched the Prussian snore away.

"Come join me for a walk." I nodded while grabbing my blue military jacket off the coat hanger and following Japan out the living room door. Outside the weather had become much chillier. The wind had picked up and the mounds of gray clouds blocked out the warm heat of the sun. Japan and I both shivered as we walked along the cobblestone wall that accompanied the dirt road leading to Germany's house. I stuffed my hands into my pockets to shield them from the onslaught of icy wind.

"When did you get back? Your note said that you were going to be back by morning." I stared ahead as we slowly walked down the road. The tension was eating away at me.

"I aporogize for that. I came back at the house around the time you departed with Germany's troops. Germany and Prussia were arready in bed and fast asreep when I got back. They didn't wake up until the next morning."

"I see." I hated the awkwardness that had settled in between us. Japan and I always had something to chat about; whether it was pasta or manga. We frequently found ease in each other's company that way. Now it felt like we were total strangers meeting for the first time. I suppose in Japan's case, I would seem like a unfamiliar person with how I've been acting lately.

"Itaria-san, we have been arries for some time now. Over the years I've even come to call you my friend, a person I trust." He spoke with a calm remembrance I was all too familiar with.

Japan stopped walking as he took a deep breath. The man seemed to be contemplating his words. For as long as I've known Japan he has always done his best to remain calm and polite. It was basically his trademark. At the moment my friend was shaking as if he were ready to burst from the onslaught of emotions.

"So please tell me…why did you not come to me sooner!" Japan couldn't contain his frustrations any longer as he turned his infuriated frame towards me. Japan hated raising his voice in any type of situation so he must have been boiling with anger during our breakfast with Prussia.

I smiled tiredly. "Si si, I guess this makes me a pretty terrible friend huh?" Japan bit the inside of his lip to stifle his voice but the anger he felt proved to be too great.

"Stop that! Stop braming yourself! Why didn't you ask for my help? Do you know how frustrating it is seeing your friend in distress and not knowing what is wrong? To have them put on an act for you and pretend that everything is ok? I am your friend so why would you try to hide this from me?" Japan stopped his tirade to stare up at me with hurt-filled eyes. That was the most emotion I had ever heard from Japan. It certainly left me speechless for a minute.

I looked at the ground, unable to meet my friend's gaze. The wind ruffled my hair and sent prickles of ice across my skin. "I'm sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen Japan. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble for everyone. Mi dispiace il mio amico, I've messed everything up. M-mi dispiace." My vision began to blur as warms tears threatened to spill from my eyes. I held back a choked sob as the guilt racked by body. Because it was true, this whole thing was my fault.

Japan's face softened just a fraction. "Please cease that Itaria-san. It is dishonorabre to take brame for something you had no control over. I know you would never intentionally cause your friends troubre; you are not that kind of person. You're a good friend." Japan placed his hand on my shoulder and spoke with the utmost sincerity. I wiped the tears away with my sleeve and moved away from his touch.

I walked over to the cobblestone wall as I spoke. "No, I am not a good friend Japan. A good friend would never lie to their friends on a daily basis or keep secrets from them like I have. A good friend would never continue to hurt their loved ones in the most despicable way possible. A good friend wouldn't be causing so such harm to his friends. If you really do consider me a friend Japan, then I'm a sorry excuse for one." I leant back on the stone wall and ran my hands through my hair, clutching at the scalp. I knew deep down this was all my fault.

_My fault my fault my fault my fault my-_

'**SMACK!' **

"That is enough."

I was brought out of my guilt trip by a quick slap to my cheek. The slap wasn't hard enough to hurt but just enough to break my thoughts and get my attention. I brought my hand up to my face in shock, unable to process that the always-reserved Japan was behind the quick action.

"I will hear no more of your pity party Itaria-san. I shouldn't have to tell you that you are an amazing person and an honest friend. I don't want to hear you berittle yourself when I know how great a person you rearry are." Japan spoke with a strong resolve and bright fire in his eyes.

My mind was still in shock. The guilt I felt just moments ago evaporated and was soon replaced with a warmer feeling. It was like someone dropped a bucket on my head and knocked me out of my blame-filled stupor. Hearing those words from my friend sent another wave of tears through my eyes. Except this time they were accompanied with the overwhelming feeling of happiness. Japan always knew exactly what to say.

"Why are you crying now?"

"Sorry…I'm just really happy now that's all."

My mouth turned up in a genuine smile as I wiped away the warm tears of happiness. I was so thankful to have someone like Japan as my ally and friend. Without his presence, I don't know where I'd be right now.

"Good grief." Japan pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to me. I gratefully took it to wipe away the last of my tears and blow my runny nose.

"Now could you prease inform me of the situation between you and Prussia?" Japan stood calm and rigid as he waited for my answer. I had to take a moment to collect my thoughts and simplify the story. Japan didn't need to hear every dirty detail.

I started off with telling him about my feelings for Germany. Japan seemed a bit taken back from hearing this particular information but remained silent and attentive nonetheless. I tried not to ramble as I talked about Germany and why I hid my feelings for so long. I talked about the letter, how I just wanted to ease the tension and longing in my heart. I told Japan that by sheer force of bad luck and horrible timing the letter found its way to Prussia via Gilbird. I explained Prussia's confession, his suicidal thoughts and his bipolar tendencies. How violent and unpredictable the man got when I first refused him. From there I talked about about Prussia's many forms of abuse. Japan's stoic face slowly became more livid by the second as he listened.

"Is that from him?" Japan motioned towards the faded bruise under my jaw. You could barely see it now but the tiny bits of bruised green were still visible.

"Si." I closed my eyes and tried to block out the memory as it attempted to resurface.

"Are you afraid that he'll kill you? Is that why you won't reave him?"

I considered that thought for a moment. Prussia was perfectly capable of killing me, that I knew for certain. But could he actually go through with it? Somewhere in his subconscious had to be the old Prussia I knew and loved. The Prussia that used to make me laugh and share his beer with me. I honestly wasn't certain if Prussia really had it in him to end my life. I really didn't want to find out.

"I'm not sure if he would really kill me Japan. But I do know that he would react violently if I ever tried to leave him." My voice sounded so beaten. Like I had already given up.

"Does Germany know about all this? He's had to have noticed Prussia's massive shift in behavior and your fabricated cheeriness. Have you not told him that Prussia's been abusing you all this time?" The look in Japan's eyes made me feel even worse about the situation. I didn't tell him about Germany's own abusive behavior towards me. Japan still thought of Germany as our strong and noble leader despite his recent drinking. I didn't want to destroy Germany's good image in Japan's mind and break the Axis even further. But I knew I had to tell him.

"I'm sure you've noticed Germany's excessive drinking lately." I watched as the clouds shifted and moved above us.

"Hai, I assumed it was from the built up stress caused by the war. Especially since the odds are no longer in our favor." I could tell that Japan did not like where this was going. I'm sure his initial idea was to have Germany help with this issue. I know he did not want to think of our fearless leader in any kind of negative fashion. I continued on regardless.

"When Germany found out about the letter he truly believed that it was for Prussia and that I was in love with him this whole time."

Japan's eyes were pleading for his suspicions not to be true.

"Germany became spiteful towards me after finding the letter. During a training session he threw me to the ground, crushed my hand with his boot, and locked me in the potato shed for the entire night. There have been other incidences where he's verbally and physically hurt me. The latest incident was the other night after his bad drinking binge. I was thrown into the door with my back hitting the doorknob." I winced as I remembered the hurtful action and the terrible bruise it left on my back.

Japan's mouth was agape with disbelief and shock. The news of Germany's violent behavior towards a fellow Axis member was a fact deemed unforgivable. I could already see the once noble image of Germany turning into a spiteful one in his eyes. I gave Japan some time to process the new information as he leant back on the stone wall beside me.

"Does your brother know what's going?" Japan desperately stared up at the clouds as if they could provide the right solution.

The thought of my hot-headed brother filled me with a sense of trepidation.

"He knows about Germany throwing me into the door. Other than that specific incident, he knows nothing of what's been going on here." I avoided Japan's probing gaze as he tried to find the answers in my eyes.

"Why have you not said anything to him? Your brother would surely…"

"Exactly."

Japan stopped and tilted his head in confusion.

"If Romano ever found out about the things happening here, he would rush down here and unwittingly pick a fight with the one of the German brothers. Most likely Prussia. A fight he would have no chance at winning." I did not want imagine my big brother in a fight with anyone. Though he had plenty of bark, when it came down to the bite he always came up too short.

"So you're keeping quiet to keep him safe?" Japan seemed utterly dumbfounded by my strategy.

"Si, unfortunately."

Japan pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled exhaustedly.

"Please forgive my bluntness but that is the stupidest pran I have ever heard of Itaria." Japan sounded as frustrated as he looked.

"Which is probably why I'm the one that thought of it." I chuckled with a tired grin.

Japan shook his head at my aloofness and continued. "Itaria-san I cannot allow this abuse to continue. Prussia has no right to treat you this way. Regardless of your status as a nation, you are not a piece of land to be owned. I'm sorry Itaria, but I will not sit back and watch you be subjected to that verbal and mental abuse any longer. I could barely contain myself at breakfast this morning." He glared down at the grass as he squeezed one of his fists into a tight ball, recalling the uncomfortable breakfast from earlier.

"But that's crazy! What are you going to do? Fight him? Are you forgetting that this is Prussia we're talking about here? Germany's older brother and former Teutonic knight? Please Japan you cannot confront him; you've never been around the man when he's angry. É spaventoso." The last part came out as a whisper as I thought back to Prussia's wild eyes and unreasonable voice. The very memory sent shackles of fear up my spine.

"But I cannot allow you to go back to him. Itaria, men rike that don't get better they only get worse. One of these days he's going to take it too far and do something he can't ever take back. I don't want to see you in such a broken state…" Japan trailed off in a broken murmur, unable to finish the sentence.

I knew what Japan was implying. The thought always lurked in the back of my mind whenever I was left alone with the Prussian. It was one of the main things that scared me about him. How demanding and unreasonable he was when there was something he wanted. Prussia had already forced himself on me once so I wouldn't put it past him to take his actions too far another time. I doubt I could fight him off if it ever came to that. The thought left a cold feeling of dread in my soul.

"I know Japan. I hate having to go along with these charades and putting up with all the abuse. I hate living like this. But I don't know what else to do. If I were to leave right now I would have to leave Germany all together. With German soldiers still occupying my country I would have to hide out in Southern Italy and leave the Northern part to fend for itself."

Japan considered my words, his forehead scrunching in thought. He knew how greatly I cared for my people and that I would never abandon them. He knew that I would never leave them to such a horrible fate just to save my own skin.

"And even if I could go through with it, I would never forgive myself if Prussia sunk back into his depression and took his own life because of it. Despite everything he's done, I don't think I could live with that weighing on my conscious. He may be the cause of my abuse but even he doesn't deserve to sink back into that awful misery again." I could see Japan shaking his head in frustration at the selfless words.

"But what about **your** happiness Itaria? You shouldn't have to put up with all this abuse just to make sure someone else is happy. It is not fair to you." It was like Japan was pleading for me to see reason and listen to him. While I saw the reasoning in his words I didn't have it in me to put my own good fortune before someone else's.

"I know." Cupping my hands to my mouth I blew some hot hair onto them and stared out at the grassy fields. The wind had not let up since we started walking.

Japan started to rub his left temple as he spoke. "Then what are you going to do? This farce cannot go on forever." His strained voice told me that my reasoning's were driving him nuts.

With a low voice, I spoke to the ground. "When the safest moment presents itself, I'm going to disband from the Axis and join the Allies."

The silence that followed was unbearably stifling. I didn't want to look at Japan's face and see the hurt that was plastered there. The news of my departure must have still come to a shock to the Japanese man. He knew how loyal I was to Germany and to the Axis. I'm sure Japan never thought in all my years as a devoted Axis member, that I would ever leave them to join the Allies. I could still sense the small sting of betrayal coming off my longtime friend.

"Have you given some thought to this?" Japan settled against the stone wall beside me as he looked onto the vast farmland. I could see the slight look of dejection on his face.

"It was Romano's idea initially. At first I didn't want any part of it; I wanted to remain with the Axis until the very end. But then this happened…" I trailed off with a whisper as I watched a few brown cows move across the pasture.

I couldn't tell what Japan was thinking. I knew he didn't like the idea of me leaving the Axis but at the same time I was sure he knew it was probably for the best. With everything that had happened I don't see my situation getting any better from here. Right now the sooner I left the Axis the better. But I still felt uneasy over Japan's continued silence. I didn't want my friend to hold a grudge against me for leaving the group.

I was almost too afraid to ask. "Would you be angry at me for joining the Allies, Japan?" Turning my head, my frown grimaced even further at seeing his distraught expression. If the situation hadn't been so dire I would never willingly abandon the Axis or my friends.

Japan took a moment to contemplate his words. "I would be sad to see you reave…but I would hold nothing against you Itaria-san."

Looking down at Japan I could see the honest sincerity in his eyes. The relief I felt from his answer was incredibly heat warming. I didn't want to lose one of the few friends I had during these troubling times so hearing Japan's honestly filled me with warmth. So much that the wind was now only a distant bother, the cold no longer biting at my skin. Japan looked more at ease from seeing my relief. We stood against the stone in more comfortable silence, looking out onto the grassy pastures. It had been too long since hung out together like this. Just enjoying each other's company.

Japan was the first to break the silence. "When you say the safest moment…" The question trailed off for me to answer.

"When the majority of Germany's troops have left my country. It's becoming clear that he's starting to run low on soldiers. I've also been told that he's been removing soldiers stationed in Northern Italy to fight in the war." Japan nodded his head as he contemplated my strategy. His back stiffened as he narrowed his eyes in thought.

"And what about Prussia?" From the tone of his voice you'd think he just put a hit out on the man.

These days I tried hard not to think about the situation with Prussia. That whole mess was a million problems shoved into one thing. My thoughts on what to do about him have been vague so far. I'm still not entirely certain how I'm going to handle the circumstances once I leave him. I know once I do, there's going to be hell to pay on Prussia's part.

"I'm hoping the Allies can provide Romano and I with some sort of protection, at least until the war is over." It was the best I could come up with.

Japan's brow furrowed in thought. "And after the war has ended?"

I rubbed the side of temple as another migraine slowly crept its way through my skull. "I'm hoping he will have gotten over it by then."

Japan looked away as he let those words sink in. The skepticism painted on his face was all too clear for the world to see. Japan was a far more sensible person than me. Whereas I put other's happiness before my own, Japan met these types of situations with a clear head and impassive consciousness. He was the one that made more practical decisions in our group.

"That is a sketchy pran Itaria. So many things could go wrong, and then what will you do? I imagine you don't have a backup pran should things go south." Japan spoke in his usual monotone.

Truth be told, I didn't have a backup plan in case things went awry. The plan I had so far was the only thing I could come up with that resulted in as little violence as possible. If that didn't work I believe I would be up shit creek without a paddle.

"I'm sure I'll think of something. I can be resourceful when I need to be." I was the grandson of the great Roman Empire after all.

Japan's shoulders seemed to stiffen as he spoke. "I assume that you'll want me to keep quiet about this, correct?" His voice was cut with outrage and resentment. I began to fiddle with one of the buttons on my jacket as the tension lingered between us. I had a feeling that Japan was not going to make this easy for me.

"I know that's asking for a lot Japan."

"It is."

I heaved a long sigh and let my hands fall to my sides once more. Japan was staring straight ahead with a clenched jaw and stiff back. The very notion of keeping quiet about this whole thing did not sit well with him. This came as no surprise to me; Japan was the type of person that believed in truth and order. He was not the kind of man to spew any kind of lies or dishonesty.

"I don't think this pran of yours is a very smart one Itaria." His words were still tight with ire.

I looked towards the clouds as the wind suddenly died down, finally giving us a break from the icy wind. "I know it's not Japan. But right now it is the only thing I have." I spoke with an exasperated weariness that gave off the feeling of defeat.

Japan's tone softened a bit at hearing my weariness. It had been a long day for the both of us. "I do think that it's a good idea to go to the Arries for protection. America is always eager to help and France would be more than happy to house you and your brother until the war is over. Though you should steer clear of Russia during you're stay with the Arries." We both did an internal shudder at the mention of the large and scary man.

_Yeah no kidding. _

Japan steeled his eyes as he looked up at me. "But I don't know if I can hold my tongue against your abusers Itaria-san. What they have been doing is beyond disgracefur." Japan spoke with heated determination, like a man getting ready for battle.

As much as I desperately wanted for someone to finally intervene and put an end to this fiasco once and for all, I knew it had to wait. It wasn't the right time yet to take my leave and join the Allies. There were still a few more loose ends I had to tie up before it could be safe enough for my country to renounce its alliance from the Axis.

I turned to fully face Japan, a desperate plea in my voice. "Please Japan you mustn't say anything to them. I know it's hard but if word got out about my plan then everything would go to hell in a hand-basket. Please for my both mine and my brother's sake, you must keep silent." I put a little more effort into my tone as I pleaded with my friend. It was crucial for my plans that Japan stayed quiet about the whole thing. I could not afford to risk Prussia or Germany catching wind of my departure. The result of that would be absolutely disastrous.

Japan narrowed his bottomless eyes as he chewed on his lower lip. I could see him mulling over my request to stay quiet in his head. The cogs of his mind moved back and forth, relentlessly trying to find an alternative solution. His face was scrunched in concentration as his eyes darted back and forth in a desperate attempt to fix this ordeal. I watched him in morbid silence, knowing full well that the answers he was seeking were unattainable to us. His tensed features eventually relaxed as he stared at the ground in defeat. My heart churned at seeing the crushed look on his face.

"Per favore amico mio." I brought my hand up to his shoulder as I whispered softly.

Japan softened under the tender gesture and looked up at me with his dark, bottomless eyes. I couldn't tell what was going through his head; Japan has always been a tough card to read.

"I will try Itaria-san." Japan averted his gaze as he spoke.

I needed more confirmation than that.

"Pinkie promise." I held up my pinkie with the most serious of faces.

Japan hesitated for a moment as he held up his pinkie finger. He knew that to break a pinkie promise was like throwing a puppy over a cliff: unforgivable. Japan had told me that pinkie promises were one of the most sacred contractions you could make with someone. I hated giving Japan these ultimatums but I had to know for sure that he would keep his word and stay silent. Japan hesitated once more before steeling his eyes and clasping his pinkie finger around my own.

"I promise."

I could practically feel the scorn in his voice. Japan looked torn with himself, obviously distraught over having to remain quiet about my abuse. I tired smile graced my lips as I tried to comfort my small companion.

"I really appreciate everything you've done Japan. You have no idea how thankful I am to have you here." Japan seemed to relax slightly from the warmth and honesty in my words.

Japan tilted his head quizzically as he spoke in his usual robotic tone. "But I don't understand; I have not done anything."

My smile widened.

"Just being here and listening means the world to me."

Our touching moment of friendship was suddenly interrupted by a needle-like sensation clawing onto my back. I flinched from the pain and hissed as the sharp objects clawed through the fabric of my jacket and into my skin. It felt like something had jumped up and began clutching onto my back. Whatever it was sent me into a frenzy of panic filled fear.

"AAH! What's attacking me?" I turned this way and that to try and shake the attacker off me. With my arms flailing about and my voice higher than usual, I was certainly making quite the scene on that empty dirt road. Japan quickly scurried behind me to remove whatever had just attached itself to me. I tried to cease my erratic movements so Japan could remove the unknown attacker.

My waving arms made me look like a bird taking off for flight. "What is it? England? France? Russia? Aah! Get it off me!"

Japan made a noise of confusion as he carefully removed the sharp pins clawing into my jacket.

"It's just Clove."

"Huh?" My fear was soon replaced with confusion as I turned around to Japan. Sure enough, there in his arms was the little brown tabby. Clove was purring contently as he looked up at me with his lazy ocher eyes and gave a long 'meow' in hello. Japan smiled at the cat in his arms as Clove began licking his paw to clean his furry face.

"I think he was trying to get your attention Itaria." Japan gave a light chuckle at the precarious cat's antics. I smiled along with Japan as I lifted Clove into my arms and scratched at his tiny ears. The cat purred in response as he started to knead his paws against my chest.

_Well he certainly has it now._

"Did you follow us all the way out here Clove?" I asked the cat in my arms as he rubbed his face against my bicep.

"Meow…" Clove responded with a lazy purr.

"I'm sure he gets worried about you too Itaria-kun." Japan said with a smile as he came up to pet Clove's scruffy head.

With Clove in my arms and Japan's calming presence, my entire being seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. It was the most tranquil I had felt in a long time.

I grinned at the two comrades before me. "I'm very lucky to have such good friends then." The bitter wind had completely stopped at this point and left us in a much more pleasant atmosphere. We continued our walk along the cobblestone wall, not wanting to go back to the house just yet. Though there was still a slight tension in the air, at the moment I could care less. There was just me and my friends.

"Hey Japan, can I ask where you were the other morning? It's not like you to be late for anything." This little question had actually been bugging me. It was mainly out of curiosity since Japan has never been one for tardiness. I watched as Japan suddenly turned his face away and mumbled something.

"Mmm? Mi dicpace, I didn't quite catch that." I leant down to Japan's head level so I could hear him more clearly. Japan quickened his pace as he mumbled again. I pretty much had to jog to keep up with him as he avoided my probing questions. Soon the man came to an abrupt stop as he faced me with a slight blush to his cheeks. I had to do a double take as I looked down at Japan's slightly reddened face. Japan never blushed. Ever.

"I was at Greece's and…

Both Clove and I quirked our heads in confusion as we waited for him to finish.

…and I…became preoccupied with his sights and…spent the night…at his place."

It took my brain a moment to finally catch up to speed before my jaw hung open like a gaping fish. I certainly wasn't expecting to hear that from Japan. I didn't even know that he was in to that sort of thing. The man was so emotionally stifled you think he was an asexual. But any thought of that was quickly diminished from the blushing look on Japan's face. That face reminded me of Romano's when he finally admitted his feelings for Spain. I quickly snapped my jaw shut as warmth flooded my system. I was such a sucker for these types of things.

"Oh Clove, amore is the air! Che meraviglia!" I twirled the cat around in my arms like we were a pair of lovebirds dancing under the moonlight. Japan sputtered in shock as the blush on his face was raised to its maximum capacity.

"N-no! You misunderstand Itaria!" Japan stammered as glared at me with wide eyes.

I stopped in front of Japan and winked down at him. "Are you going to woo Greece with your charms? Or is it he that will do the wooing?" Grinning cheekily, I laughed at Japan's gaping face. His head was starting to look just like a tomato.

"No! No! No! There will be no wooing whatsoever!" Japan yelled as made an X with his forearms that crossed over his chest.

I was overflowing with delight as I giggled from Japan's embarrassment. Skipping around with Clove purring in my arms, it was the most fun I had had in too long. All concerns and worries about the future became lost to us. Right then, there were just two friends and a cat having fun. It was bravura.

I looked back at Japan with a charming smile. "Ve~ Do you want me to teach you how to flirt?"

"No!" The man yelled with his hands tightened into furious fists.

I lost track of time in those moments of laughter and teasing. Despite Japan's clearly embarrassed face, I could see the hints of amusement and mirth in his eyes. It was one of those simple moments you think back to in your old age. Where you remember the simple joy of just laughing with your friends.

At that moment there was no Prussia.

Or Germany.

Not even a Christoff.

_Just two friends and a cat._

* * *

**Seems like things are finally looking up for Italy huh? Maybe things will actually turn out for the best...  
**

**Oh if only it were that simple! (Insert evil laughter)**

**Well now that Japan is up to speed what do you think he'll do? What do you think he should do? Should he tell Prussia and Germany to back off or should he keep quiet until Italy leaves? Or should Italy just man-up and tell those two to step off?** **I suppose we'll have to wait and see.**

**Until next time my lovely readers**

**mcpidy**

* * *

**Translations**

**German -**

Fick dich ins Knie, du Arschloch - Go fuck yourself, asshole

**Italian -**

É spaventoso – It's scary

mio dolce tesoro - my sweet treasure

Che meraviglia! - How wonderful!


	13. Having za lady troubles

**Chapter 13 – Having za lady troubles**

**Hello everybody **

**I'm glad you're all enjoying the story so far. I'd like to address one reviewer in particular by the name of Sambull. I gotta say I loved the little scenario you wrote in your last review! It certainly had me cracking up XD **

**The German used in this chapter was translated by Nelniel.**

* * *

**Germany's P.O.V.**

The whiz of the ceiling fan-blades accompanied with the clinking of glasses were a constant drone in the background as I downed my third Heffwiesens. So far I was the only patron in the pub besides the bartender, who was less than happy to see me. While I did provide the bar with plenty of patrons from my army, I also unintentionally scared others off because of my more recent mood. Not that I cared. Right now the only thing on my mind was drowning out these damn emotions that kept plaguing my thoughts.

"Another." I set the empty glass onto counter with a loud 'clank' to get the man's attention. The bartender adjusted his glasses with a roll of his dark eyes as he fixed me another glass. Clearly the man had become fed up with my presence. _Like I give a damn._

The bartender fixed me with a sharp glare as he poured me another beer. "I don't vant you getting plastered in here again Ludvig. Half my normal customers won't come back in because they know you're here." The man's lithe frame was stiff with agitation. A clear indignation he was in no mood for my attitude.

I held his gaze as I clasped the handle of my glass. "I can handle myself Felix. I don't need you harping on me either." The man flinched from my tone as turned back to wiping beer mugs. He knew how quick my temper was.

My eyes fixated themselves on the dark polished counter as I gradually drank my beer. I was thankful for the quiet atmosphere in the bar. It felt like any tiny thing could set my temper a blaze with how on edge I was. I tried to keep my thoughts away from Italy and my brother. It was like neither of them cared how much it hurt me seeing them together like that. How it left a cold feeling in my heart from watching them kiss. I think I died a little inside each time I saw them together. It just wasn't fair.

_Italy is probably still cross with me for hitting his beloved lover. I bet he wants me to apologize to Prussia for breaking his nose too. As if I'm the one that's at fault here. Well I wouldn't be getting drunk every night if it weren't for those two. It's their fault, not mine. Everything wouldn't be going to shit if it weren't for them. It's all their fault. _

I rubbed circles above my eyes. "Oh Gott, wie ich ihn hasse!" I seethed through clenched teeth.

"Vhat za hell did I do?" Felix turned around and asked haughtily.

I snorted in annoyance. "Not you. Somvone else." I took another swig of my beer as I tried to block out the memory of Italy doting all over my brother. The thought made me sick.

Felix and I both looked up when the door suddenly slammed opened and a panting man came rushing in. I immediately recognized the uniform as one of my soldiers, the dark green clothing matching my own getup. The man looked familiar but I couldn't place his name. There were so many soldiers coming and going through the ranks that I couldn't keep track of names most of the time.

The newcomer spoke frantically as he leant his hands on the counter. "Hallo, I vas here za other night und I think I left something. Have you happened to come across a pocket vatch by any chance?" I quirked an eyebrow as the boy spoke. From the man's tall stature and large frame you'd think he was much older in age. But his voice sounded so young, like he was still a teenager. Now that I got a good look at his face he did seem more boyish in appearance. His dishwater blonde hair was a complete mess, as if he had gotten a late start this morning. From seeing the bright exuberance in his eyes, I could tell he had not yet experienced the atrocities of the battlefield.

_But he will soon enough._

Felix was looking through a box under the counter before he came up with a small trinket in his hand. "Is zis vhat you're looking for?" Felix asked as he held up the silver pocket watch.

"Ja! Vielen, vielen Dank!" The boy said gratefully as he took back the watch and quickly put it in his pocket. After securing his treasure, the soldier finally took notice of me. It took him a moment to recognize who I was before the boy scrambled into his military stance and quickly saluted me.

"Herr Germany!" The young man spoke loud and clear as he resumed the required military stance with perfection. I expected nothing less from one of my soldiers.

"At ease soldier." I mumbled into my drink as I turned back towards the counter. The boy relaxed his stance as he looked around the empty bar. I noticed him and Felix sharing an odd glance before the boy looked back at me.

"Mind if I join you herr?" The boy asked a bit awkwardly.

My gaze remained on the counter as I swigged my drink. "Do vhat you vant." I said annoyance clear in my gruff voice.

The large soldier sat down next to me and ordered a beer for himself. The tension in the air was just as bad as it was between Prussia and I this morning. I could practically feel how uncomfortable Felix and this new soldier were being near me. The two of them both sent nervous glances my way as I drank my beer in silence. I had a feeling that Felix was silently begging this new soldier to talk me over and get me the hell out of his pub. The young man fidgeted with his glass as he turned to me with a friendly smile.

"So vhat brings you to za pub? It's a bit early to be drinking don't you think?" The soldier said jokingly, trying his best to break the ice.

My only response was a sour glare from the corner of my eye.

The boy frowned but continued on anyway. "Is there something wrong herr? You seem a bit agitated, like more zan usual." His tone was casual but I could still hear the worry in his voice.

I kept my gaze on the counter as I let a hinge of anger seep into my words. "It's nothing soldier. Just mind your own business."

I looked up at Felix when I heard him give an overly dramatic groan. I narrowed my eyes, angered that he had been listening to us. The bartender scratched his messy red hair as he turned towards me.

The look in his eye reminded me of Austria's when he was in a bad mood. "Vhy don't you stop being such a crybaby und tell us vhat's ze matter? Something obviously has your panties in a knot." Felix said with a grimace as he took out his wash cloth and wiped at the countertop.

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my temper in check. "I don't vant to talk about it." I muttered down at my drink. I had hoped my growing irritation would have been an obvious sign for them to stop talking and leave me alone. It was painfully clear how un-talkative I was at the moment.

The two persisted on nevertheless.

"Is it about za war?"

"Nien."

"Did somevone die?"

"Nein."

"Is it about ze Axis?"

"Nein."

"Did you come to the realization that you're a woman trapped in a man's body?"

My eyes snapped up at the crude bartender. "Vill you shut up already!"

Felix propped himself up with his elbow, resting his chin against his fist as he spoke. "Are you having za lady troubles?" I faltered in my rebuttal as my fingers tightened around my drink.

The question took me off guard. It technically wasn't a girl I was having trouble with but I was having those same troubles nonetheless. My voice remained mute as I glared at the wooden countertop, avoiding the questioning looks next to me. I refused to answer the man's stupid question.

Felix snapped his fingers. "Aha! Zat's it isn't it? Vhat? Did some girl break your heart Ludvig?" He asked with a mocking glint in his eyes.

I had to hold back a growl as I tried to ignore his mocking tone.

The man was apparently unaffected by my growing rage as he continued to smirk at my rigid face. If the man thought he was safe from my fist just because of the young solder next to us he was greatly mistaken. My knuckles cracked in warning as I met Felix's smirk with a cold glare. I was in no mood for any kind of mockery. I could see the large soldier next to me glancing back and forth between Felix and I. I'm sure the boy could tell how irate I was at the moment.

The young soldier interjected before my temper got the best of me. "Hey if you're having za lady problems zen you can talk to us about it. I promise ve won't judge." The boy sent a quick warning glare to Felix who quickly dropped the smirk from his face.

My mood was still on edge. "I don't vant to talk about it." The boy shrunk back from my cold glare as I turned to look directly at him. As one of my soldiers he was all too familiar with my quick temper. I'm sure the boy knew better than to try and test my limits.

Felix groaned and threw his hands in the air. "Zis man is hopeless." I felt my brow twitch in irritation as I turned back towards the counter.

My teeth cracked as I clenched and re-clenched my jaw. Ever since I was as child I had a bad habit of grinding my teeth whenever I became annoyed. Honestly I'm surprised I haven't grinded away the tops of my teeth by now.

The young soldier cleared his throat to get my attention as he took a more direct approach. "If you're embarrassed to talk about it, vhy don't I go first?" I could see the honesty in his bright eyes and could tell that the boy meant well. I felt my anger slowly dissipate at hearing the sincerity in his voice. The young soldier was trying his best to help me out. I couldn't help but feel a little grateful with how shitty my day was going.

Felix glanced at the boy. "Don't tell me you're having za girl problems too?" He asked with a tilt of his head.

The boy ran his hand up his sleeve and avoided our stares. "Vell…sort of." His eyes were in another place as he stared off into the distance.

Felix and I both waited patiently as the boy tried to collect his thoughts.

"There's zis person I've recently met and ve just started to sort of…date…kind of." He mumbled almost embarrassedly. The boy seemed especially nervous talking about this subject. His whole body was buzzing with apprehension. Whoever he was talking about obviously had him by the heartstrings. This was made even clearer by the tiny hint of red on his face.

The boy cleared his throat as he began began to twiddle his fingers. "You see I've never asked anyone out before so I'm completely new to zis kind of thing. I have no idea if I'm doing things right or if I'm messing things up. I'm pretty sure zis person likes me but…zhere's zis little problem." I watched as the boy took a long swig of his beer before wiping the foam off with his forearm.

"Vell zis…_girl_…vants to keep us a secret. I understand vhy she vants to but zis is za first time I've ever done something like this vith someone. I don't like za thought of keeping it a secret. Such things shouldn't have to be kept hidden if you ask me." The young man sighed as a frown etched onto his young face.

"Vhy does she vant to keep it a secret?" Felix asked as he leaned down on his elbows.

The boy glanced up from his beer. "I can't say." The words were barely audible.

I rolled my eyes at his naïve way of thinking. The boy was obviously just experiencing his first case of puppy love. Every young boy worried over their first crush at some point or another. To me it sounded like his troubles were nothing to fret over. Your first crush was as quick and fickle as the wind. It was nearly impossible to grasp and in the blink of eye it was gone. I could never understand why people had such a hard time getting over something as trivial as their first crush. The idea never ceased to amaze me and this boy's case was no different. It was merely the fleeting of the wind.

"Sounds like puppy love to me." I spoke matter-of-factly.

The boy clearly took it the wrong way. "Zat's not it at all!" He sounded almost offended that I would even suggest such a thing. A clear sign that what I said was 100% true.

"Have you told zis girl how you feel about keeping your relationship a secret?" Felix asked as he refilled our drinks.

The boy itched at his untidy hair. "Vell nein but…"

"Zis girl sounds fickle too." I interrupted with a snort.

Again he reacted defensively. "She's not!" Glancing at him, it sounded like the boy wasn't too sure himself. Not that it surprised me. Young love was both unnecessarily complicated and weirdly unpredictable. Even the people involved weren't sure of themselves at times.

"Zen vhy are you getting so defensive?" I asked with a raised brow.

He looked away, mumbling. "Because…"

He looked like he was at a loss of words. Like most men (including me) he seemed to have trouble talking about his relationship issues. It was one of those subjects no man wanted to voice aloud. Relationships were complicated, messy, hurtful and confusing. To put it bluntly, they were one big problem. I held back another snide comment to let the boy finish. Even I knew how difficult this subject was.

"…you don't know her. She's only doing zis because she thinks it's for za best. In a way it is, but zat still doesn't mean I like it. I just vish there vas some vay around zis problem vithout za whole world finding out about it." He said quietly; frustration and hindrance clear in his gray-blue eyes.

I paused midway through my beer as I pondered his situation for a moment. The boy mentioned that he couldn't tell us exactly why they were keeping this relationship a secret. He also appeared to be overly nervous about it. Like it was more than just young jitters. And the way he talked about this relationship made it seem like it was something scandalous.

Or perhaps illegal.

"Zis relationship you two have…it's not anything illegal is it?" The way I spoke made it clear I was not fooling around. As a leader, I had zero toleration for illicit activity in my ranks. I made sure that those kinds of things were met with swift and critical punishment.

The boy nearly fell off his stool as he frantically tried to back track his words.

"Nein! Nein, zat's not za case at all! It's more of a social standards problem. She and I come from completely different families so it makes things difficult." The boy said with a nervous laugh as he pushed his hair back.

It was hard to tell if the boy was lying or not. He spoke with sincerity and yet his body was still racked with nervousness. I decided to let it go for the time being.

_It's probably nothing. My soldiers already know better than to go against the law. I suppose the most I can do is just keep an eye on this one for the time being. _

"I see." I said with indifference.

Felix motioned toward the young soldier with a grin. "You know vhat I think..."

The boy quirked an eyebrow at the mischievous tone while I shook my head. I had known Felix for a few years now and knew how he had a pension for spouting insane notions to his patrons. These ideas of his were usually of the illegal nature and completely out of touch with reality. Despite already knowing this, I listened anyway.

"You two should run away together! Hop on ze next train to Die Schwiez and live out za rest of your days like a modern day Romeo and Juliet." Felix said as he waved his arms with grander. The young boy laughed at his dramatic display while I scowled at his stupidity.

_What kind of suggestion is that? Despite the fact that it would never work you said it in front of the one person you wouldn't want finding out about it. Did the man forget that I'm the commander of the troops? Well considering this is Felix, I shouldn't be surprised by these antics. _

When the boy's laughter died down he spoke with a grin. "Zat does sound like a nice fairytale and all but did you have to pick such a tragic couple?"

Felix stopped to ponder that for a moment. It was quite a tragic couple to pick after all. Though they tried to be together, the story ends with their deaths.

Felix scratched under his chin. "Oh…ja…zen how about…Pyramus and Thisbe?"

"They're even more tragic zan za first one." The boy said with a snort.

_Well not surprising considering they tried to commit adultery. _

"Orpheus and Eurydice?"

"She dies in ze end."

_Because of the man's own error in his excessive anxiety. _

"Paris and Helena?"

"Zat story ends vith ze annihilation of Troy."

_Mostly the man's fault on that one. Paris did kidnap Helena from her people so what did he think was going to happen? _

"Lancelot und Guinevere?"

"Don't zey both die in za end too?"

_Not necessarily, but they don't have a happy ending either. _

Felix grasped at his hair. "Scheisse! Vhy do all these romances end in bloodshed und tragedy? Vhat does zat say about love?" He asked the soldier and I.

"Zat it always ends in sorrow?" The words fell out of my mouth before I even gave it a second thought.

The boy crossed his arms in scrutiny. "Nein nein, zat's far too bleak. Perhaps its zat love is a tricky matter and should be handled more carefully." He said thoughtfully. Clearly the boy believed in such trivial things as love. I had half a mind to warn him of the troubles such a thing would cause him. Love was not necessarily a good thing.

"I still say it causes nothing but trouble." I said before taking a long swig of my beer.

Felix glared at me. "Says Mr. I've-never-been-with-a-woman-but-I-think- I-know-everything-there-is-to-know-about-the-matter." He mimicked my voice in the most asinine manner.

I kept my exspression rigid as the young soldier playfully clasped me on the shoulder.

"Oh come on, zat's just za beer talking. You can't really mean it." Looking into his bright eyes caused a bit of envy to course through me. It must have been nice to be so oblivious to the harsh reality of love. Having never delved into love himself, the boy had yet to experience heartache or loss. _Or betrayal._

Felix motioned towards me with his thumb. "Don't listen to sourpuss over here. Pay attention to zis old bartender now; zis girl will understand your concerns if you just talk to her about. Communication is za most vital part of any relationship, even young ones. Just talk it over and voice your concerns. I'm certain she vill understand and you vill feel better once you have." Felix said with a genuine smile as the young man listened with rapt eyes.

I had to hand it to Felix. Though the man could be a complete dunce at times, he knew how to give good advice. I suppose all those years of listening to others issues gave him a little extra insight into the world. If he wasn't such a sarcastic asshole he'd be a pretty good bartender.

Felix turned to me with a stern look. "Ok now it's your turn. **Rede**."

I sneered at his pushy nature. "I never said I vas going to Felix." The man shared a glance with the young soldier as I eyed them warily.

Felix was persistent. "I don't care. The sooner you get over zis little tiff the sooner you'll quit plaguing my bar. Now tell us vhat's wrong."

From the harsh looks Felix was giving me, I knew he wasn't going to drop this anytime soon. If it were any other subject I might have been more open to talk about it. But this was different.

"It's a bit more complicated zan your story." I said to silence their badgering.

Felix continued to impatiently wait while the young soldier gave me an encouraging nod. They were trying their hardest to get me to open up. It didn't take long before their looks started to get to me. Deep down I knew they both meant well and I had to commend them for their efforts. I wasn't exactly the easiest person to talk to after all. I downed the rest of my beer and took in a large breath to think over my next words. _Suppose it wouldn't kill me to talk about this._

After a long moment of just staring at my beer, I finally began to talk. "There's zis person zat I've known for a long time. We've been good friends for many years now. Zis person is someone zat I trust and deeply care for."

A bitter grimace crept its way onto my face as I spat out the next words.

"Or rather I used to."

Felix refilled my glass, giving me a skeptical eye while doing so. The young soldier casually sipped his drink as he listened carefully. The bar was deathly quiet now, only the drone of the fan blades could be heard over my brusque voice.

"For a long time, I harbored feelings for zis person. I kept it to myself though; I didn't want to ruin our friendship over such a trivial matter. But over za years I began to believe zat zis had started to love me back. They vere always clinging to me like a life preserve and smiling at me like I was a godsend from heaven. I always thought those open gestures of friendship actually meant more. I truly thought zat zis person cared for me like I did for zem." I couldn't help but picture Italy's smiling face in my mind. The image left me with that unbearable feeling of hurt.

I closed my eyes. "But I vas wrong." I could already feel that familiar coil of bitterness wrapping itself around me. Choking me.

Felix and the boy must have caught the anguish in my voice as they both shared a look of concern. Even the eyes of the smart-mouthed bartender softened to a slight degree. They continued to listen quietly as I took in a shaky breath.

"It vas all a lie. I had fooled myself into thinking zat zis person really loved me vhen in fact they vere in love vith someone else ze whole time." That horrible sense of possessiveness coursed through my veins and burned my skin as I thought of Italy with my bruder. How in love he was with him. The burn of my anger quickly turned into one of cold hatred.

"Betrayed. Zat's vhat it felt like. All those years of affection and friendship vere nothing more than lies. As if I vere nothing more than a toy to be thrown away at whim. It made me feel like I vas worth less zan nothing." Self-pity arouse in myself at how defeated I sounded. As the powerful nation of Germany, I should sound anything close to defeated. And yet here I was, blubbering like a child. I hated it. I hated my bruder. I hated Italy. Most of all I hated myself.

The boy was the first to speak up. "So zis person…confessed their love to someone else?"

"And now you're jealous?" Felix asked directly.

The swirl of my erratic emotions came to a boil as I knocked my chair back and slammed my hands on the counter. Felix jumped back from my steaming face while the young soldier stood up to take a step back as well. If it wasn't for the counter separating me from Felix I probably would've punched him.

"I am not jealous!" The force of my hands hitting the counter caused my glass to knock over, spilling the contents all across the polished surface.

Pushing myself away from the bar I began to pace back and forth. I wasn't used to dealing with so many emotions at once. My body felt like an overcharged battery that was about to explode. The fury of my emotions fueled my livid rant as I paced the bar.

"Maybe I am just a little. But it's not my fault dammit! He vas stringing me along for years, toying with my emotions! And for vhat? To turn around and confess his love to my bruder? A brainless jackass that lives in a basement? A former nation? A man that can't even perform the simplest of tasks because he's such a Vollidiot! Verdammt, das ist nicht fair!" All of my frustrations and anger were forced to the surface as I shouted at the near empty bar. Every nerve in my body wanted to hit something and relieve this bound up tension inside of me. I wanted to break everything in this entire bar until my rage was fully sated.

"Zat letter vas supposed to be mine! It should have been me! I'm za one zat's always been there for him! Not my damn bruder! It doesn't make any sense! I've always gotten him out of trouble. Protected him from enemies. Shared my goddamn bed vith him for Christ's sake! And for vhat?" My blazing eyes settled onto one of the mahogany tables as I flipped it over into a mess of other tables and chairs. The booming sound shook the compounds of the building right down to the core.

All of my anger was forced into the one quick action as I stared at the mess with slumped shoulders. My heaving chest slowly died down as my breathing became more regular. The raging fire inside me soon turned into bitter ashes, leaving a wretched taste in my mouth. My fists shook as I bit back the shameful sobs that tried to pry themselves from my lips. This wasn't what I wanted at all. I wanted everything back the way it used to be. Back when Italy wasn't afraid of me. When Japan and I never argued. When my brother and I were on simpler terms. When everything wasn't crashing down all around me. I wanted my old life back. Not this mess in front of me.

With my fire having been burnt out, I slumped into a nearby chair and hung my head in my gloved hands. "Verdammt…" The word was barely above a whisper.

Again that unholy silence engulfed the room as I sat with my face in my palms. How I wished that when I opened my eyes, this whole thing would be nothing more than a bad dream. How I desperately wished that were the case. This whole thing did feel like one big nightmare though. A nightmare I had no escape from. No matter how much endless amounts of mind-numbing alcohol I poured into my system, I could never escape the reality of the situation.

The young soldier timidly spoke up in the faintest of voices. "Zis person…is in love vith your bruder?"

"Do I really have to say it again?" I growled without looking up.

Silence surrounded us again before I heard the young man get up from his stool and walk over to where I was. My face contorted to that of an irate dog ready to bite. Whatever the boy had in mind was going to be caught in my fury. As I waited for the soldier to try and console me, nothing happened. Instead I heard the thumps of tables and chairs being put back into place. The boy was instead rearranging the furniture with the obsessive perfection of any normal German.

I watched as the young man put everything back in place, an unreadable expression on his surface.

With a lengthy sigh I got up from my chair and helped him reorder the fixtures I had knocked over. The tedious labor did help cool my head as we worked. I've always found that repetitive manual labor calmed my nerves whenever I became upset. As we were straitening the chairs, the young soldier finally spoke up and broke the silence.

"I understand vhy you're upset herr…but you shouldn't harbor any ill-will towards zis person. Zat's not fair to zem either."

"And vhy is zat?" I asked with a glower. My anger hadn't entirely diminished yet.

We stood at opposite ends of the table as the boy finished up the chairs on his side. Walking back around the table he mumbled almost timidly.

"You can't help who you fall in love vith."

_Where have I heard that one before?_

"Za boy is right you know." Felix interjected as he wiped up the mess on the counter.

Leaning against one of the tables, I listened with a glower as the bartender continued.

"If you truly cared for zis person then you should be happy zat they're happy. If that's not za case zen you never truly loved zem to begin vith." My eyes widened at that last part. I was left dumbstruck for a moment as I stared at the floor. Felix's words rang in my head, taunting me.

It felt like someone flipped a switch inside of me as my rage came back in full force.

"Vhat ze hell do you know! You don't know anything!" Stomping up to the bar with the frenzy of a raging bull, my tirade was suddenly cut short by a strong grip on my arm.

The boy had a look of empathy and fear swimming in his bright eyes. "W-we're just saying that if you really did love zis person zen you should support their decision and be happy for them. You don't vant to lose zem as a friend too ja?" I pushed my rage aside to consider that option. Losing Italy all together? To never see that smile or hear that bright laughter again? To never feel that warm glow that seems to radiate around him? I wasn't sure if I was ok with that.

"But how can I be happy for zem when I'm so miserable?" Turning to face the boy dead-on, I asked him through pleading eyes.

The boy glanced away but spoke the truth. "I don't know."

Felix chimed in with his usual grace. "You could start off by not being such an ass."

Our touching moment between soldier and commander was instantly broken by that little quip as I turned to give him an annoyed glare. The young man smirked at Felix's remark before quickly dropping the grin, the look on my face instantly shutting him up. The boy glanced down at the floorboards in deep thought before looking back up at me with a more hopeful gaze.

"I know zis must be hard, but you have to at least try to be happy for zem. Zhat's better than losing zis person altogether right?" That same question still sent a feeling of dread through me.

If being happy for Italy meant we could still be friends, could I do it? The thought of him with my bruder still tore my heart into tiny scraps, but I didn't want to lose him as well. I knew that I've been pushing Italy away with my anger and jealousy. My fear was that one day I was going to push too far and sever our friendship forever. I didn't want to imagine my life without Italy. My love for the little Italian ran too deep; I just couldn't bear the thought of cutting him out of my life completely. Even if that meant a lifetime of bitterness.

"I…I guess I could try." I mumbled with a heavy heart.

Felix and the soldier both shouted with praise. "Sehr gut!" They sounded like a psychiatrist that just made a breakthrough with their patient.

"You should do something good for zis person to make it up to them. Get zem something nice." The boy said cheerfully, clearly happy from our progress.

"Or take zem someplace special." Felix said while resting his chin on his knuckles.

My brow scrunched in confusion. "Vouldn't those things just make me feel vorse?" _Honestly are they trying to make me feel worse than I already do? How would doing any of those things help the situation in the least bit?_

The boy shook his head with a small smile. "You forget; zey are not for you. Zey are to make your friend feel better and to show zem you support their decision and hold no grudges."

"Ja, vhy don't you think of someone else's feelings for a change you crab-ass." Felix remarked with a mocking sneer.

Though his word choice didn't exactly move me, he did have a point. If I was going to give this a shot, I had to consider Italy's feelings as well. I wasn't the only one hurt from this mess. However my usual pessimism reared its ugly head as I thought of the many ways this could all go wrong. I didn't want to make things worse by trying to be happy for them.

Running a weary hand through my hair, I asked the young soldier directly. "And vhat if zat doesn't vork? Vhat if it changes nothing?"

The young man clasped me on the shoulder. "Then at least you can say you tried. Zat is all you can do at zis point." His buoyant grin gave me a little hope.

"Zen…I vill try." _For Italy._

The young man laughed. "Genau das wollte ich hören! Give it your best." He said while giving me a hard slap to the back.

Felix smirked along with him. "Ja und try not to fuck it up."

Keeping my inner thoughts myself, I simply scoffed at the man's attitude. _Though I suppose it is good advice._

A weary smile worked its way onto my face as I looked up at the tall soldier. "Dankeschön…for listening." Honestly, I actually did feel better after getting this all out of my system. It truly surprised me to find that talking about my problems really helped. _I should try this more often._

His smile showed off more of his boyish looks. "Nichts zu danken."

"You could thank me by getting za hell out of my pub already." I glared at Felix as he crossed his arms in a defiant gesture. The man was beyond insufferable.

I turned back towards the young man. "I don't think I caught your name soldier."

The pearly whites of his teeth showed themselves prominently as he held out his hand in good nature. "It's Christoff. Christoff Baeker." I grasped his hand in a firm handshake as I nodded in approval. This soldier was a good man.

"Ja, I'll be on my vay zen."

"Hey! Aren't you going to pay for your drinks?" Felix asked with a jeer.

I grumbled on my way to the door. "Just put it on my tab."

I was nearing the exit when I stopped, suddenly remembering something very important. "Vait…I almost forgot."

I could practically hear their confusion as I craned my neck to glance at them from the corner of my eyes. With my head back in the game, I mustered up every ounce of intimidation I had in me.

"If either of you two say anything about zis incident to anyone; I vill make sure zat you are never heard from again. Understood?" My booming voice spoke loud and clear as the two glanced at each other nervously.

"J-ja…"They both stuttered in unison.

I turned to narrow my eyes at the young soldier. Apparently he'd forgotten how to properly address his superiors.

The boy's logic quickly caught up with him. "I-I mean, Jawohl, mein Herr!" He saluted like the perfect soldier I expected him to be. A grunt of approval soon relaxed his stance.

"Gute. Danke nochmal." I said on a lighter note as I walked out of the pub.

Walking out into the cold air felt good on my skin. I've always enjoyed our colder springs here; they were much more vitalizing to the senses. The cold air also helped in clearing my mind, helping me think better. Walking along the cracked and graying sidewalk, my mind pondered on how to address the problem with Italy. Christoff said to do something nice for him, to show him I mean well. But the real question was; what exactly should I do? I was in no way a spontaneous person. My ways of approaching any problem were always by the book. Never going off my own imagination, to which I had none to begin with.

_Well the boy did suggest buying him something…_

With a determined mindset, I made my way down the street to where the shopping stores were located. Though I had been down this street on numerous occasions, I had never actually went inside these stores. I never saw the need to until now. Because of this, I didn't know where to start. There were so many little shops located along the street that I couldn't decide where to begin.

I stopped my hurried pace to lean against one of the street lamps. Crossing my arms over my chest and closing my eyes, I tried to strategize the situation the best I could.

_I need to get something for Italy, which means I need to go into a store and buy it. But first I need to know what to get him. What does his like again? Art, music, cooking, lazing about, football…_

I groused at the thought of getting him any of that stuff. Every German fiber in my being protested the idea of getting him anything like those things. On the whole, those goods were completely useless. Their only usage was meaningless self-gratification or in more basic terms; for fun. The very concept of buying something that was purely for entertainment purposes was absolutely ludicrous. I needed to get Italy something that could actually be put to good use. _Like a K98 mauser knife or a Luger pistol. _

_But somehow I feel like Italy wouldn't enjoy those types of gifts. _

It was a difficult conundrum I was facing. Looking across the street at the first shop I spotted, I decided begin my search there. I had to start somewhere after all. A jingling bell atop my head announced the arrival of a new, potential customer. The shop smelled of dust and lemon polish with a hint of gunpowder. An odd combination if you asked me. Looking around, I found shelves upon shelves of various things. Most of the items were knick-knacks and old antiquities. Picking up one in particular, I examined the little trinket with scrutiny. I never understood how anyone could waste their hard earned money on something so useless. All these things did was take up necessary space.

I looked up at the quick footsteps approaching. "Guten Tag! Kann ich ihnen irgendwie behilflich sein? A jolly middle-aged woman came bouncing out from behind one of the shelves with the thickest of German accents. From the looks of her appearance, I could tell she was raised in the old country.

"Nein, ich schaue mich nur etwas um. Aber trotzdem danke." I said as the woman nodded and smiled politely.

"Lassen sie es mich wissen, falls sie etwas benötigen!" The giddy woman yelled from behind the shelves as she scurried off to her other shop duties. I couldn't help but quirk my brow in confusion as she skipped away. The girl was so jubilant, a very uncommon trait in my country.

Searching around the quaint shop I came across a section filled with books. This section had me greatly intrigued as I considered getting a novel for Italy. The only thing was; I didn't know what types of books he read. I knew how much he loved cook books but the man had an endless supply of those already. Books of the fiction variety were obviously a waste of time. I considered getting him a narrative book but after giving it some thought I decided against it. A book could only be read once for informational purposes before it became ineffectual. Not much use there. Glancing around the rest of the store, I found that I wasn't going to find the perfect gift here.

I left the shop soon after and tried a few more down the block. Unfortunately, most of the shops I came across didn't have what I was looking for. All they ever had was useless junk. Things like record players, board games, music boxes, figurines, art supplies and many other impractical things. None of those items were the right gift for Italy. My search was becoming a desperate one as I walked up and down the street. There had to be something inside of one these shops that had the perfect gift. And I was not giving up until I found it.

At my last stop, I walked into a modest clothing store. The shop was filled with sturdy looking winter clothes such as various hats, jackets and scarfs. A graying old man seated at the counter looked up from his book and gave me a curt nod. Returning it politely, I continued my inspection of the shop. The fabric of the material here looked to be top notch, a good sign that this might be the right place. Winter clothing did have continuous use as it did get rather cold in my country. A simple red scarf sitting on the shelf caught my eye as I picked it up to further inspect it. Removing one of my leather gloves with my teeth, I pinched the material in my hand to see how it felt. The wool did indeed feel as good as it looked. The fabric would most certainly keep someone warm even during the harshest of winters.

I turned my head to make sure the old man wasn't watching as I gripped the scarf tightly in my hand. Usually I found that while some fabrics kept you warm they also ripped very easily. I didn't want to get Italy something that was susceptible to tears. With my glove back on I tugged on the scarf to see if it would tear in any way. I was surprised to find that the fabric held strong against my pulling. I was no fool though. _Maybe a little extra force is needed…_

"See something you like herr?" The old man seemed to appear out of thin air from behind me. I dropped the scarf back onto the shelf, embarrassed that he had caught me trying to tear it.

"I vas just…" Stammering, I tried to think of a logical explanation.

The old man merely laughed as he picked the scarf back up and handed it to me. "Don't worry! Go ahead; tug as hard as you can." I took the scarf back and regarded the old man with suspicion. _If I pull as hard as I can the scarf will undoubtedly tear. This man is ludicrous if he thinks I'll buy a torn fabric._

Using all of my strength, I gripped the scarf in a tight hold and pulled at the seams. I was shocked to find that the scarf didn't even tear a fraction. No matter how hard I pulled, the scarf held tight and refused to rip. It was a good scarf indeed.

"An old family trick zat's been passed down through za years. Za fabric vill keep you varm und resist tears at the same time. You won't find a finer scarf in all of Germany." The old man said with pride.

Unraveling the scarf to get a better look at it I found a patch sewn at both ends. My country's coat of arms was sewn onto the ends of the scarf. The bright, yellow shield contrasted wonderfully against the stark, black eagle located inside it. My country's emblem has always been a strong and notable one.

"If you prefer I do have some scarfs zat have za Hakenkreuz on zem."

I shook my head as my thumb traced the eagle. "Nein, zis one is perfect."

The old man smiled as he looked at the symbol with honor. "Ja, I prefer our country's coat of arms as vell. It looks much better if you ask me."

Looking down at the scarf made me feel almost happy at the thought of getting it for Italy. The man loved receiving gifts of any kind so I knew this would definitely lift his spirits. It was a superb present as well. With how this war was going there was no telling how much longer we'd be here for. It was already looking to be a chilly spring so buying him a scarf was a good idea. And when winter rolled around he could use it again for when the snow storms hit. The gift was perfect.

"How much for zis scarf Bedienung?"

"It's 10 marks. Vould you like me to gift-wrap it for you?" The man asked as he took the scarf up to the register.

"Ja, danke." I smiled at the thought of Italy wearing my gift._ Though I've never been one for fashion, this scarf will look remarkably nice on Italy._

The man handed me the small, wrapped box as I paid him the total. "Have a nice day." He said as I turned to leave. With a curt 'thank you' I left the shop in a far better mood. Though the sky was still gloomy, the air was much more pleasant.

For once I was actually happy to go home. I could just imagine the look on Italy's face after seeing what I got for him. It would be wonderful to see that smile shine my way again; it had been too long since I've seen it. Perhaps this gift idea would actually work in bettering my relationship with Italy. I knew it was going to take more than a simple scarf to get us back to where we were, but I had faith that things would turn out ok. My smile faltered though when I recalled my behavior over the past several days.

_I'm going to have to apologize for that at some point. Might as well do it as soon as possible so we can put it behind us._

My eyes squinted suddenly when a ray of sunshine peeked through the clouds and momentarily blinded me. As I lifted my hand up to block out the light, I was met with a stunning picture. The sight before me looked like it belonged on a canvas. Like the paintings of heaven I viewed in Northern Italy. The white light gave off an ethereal glow as it highlighted the edges of the clouds. I'd never seen anything quite like it before. Though I've never put my trust into something as indecisive as faith, the scene above me certainly left an impression.

I took it as a sign of hope.

* * *

**This has got to be one of my favorite chapters so far; I really enjoyed writing this one. **

**I didn't intend to put that last bit in with the sunshine until the other day while I was driving home. The sky had been cloudy all day and I was just driving back from the store when I saw a bit of sunlight shine through the clouds. It really did look like heaven was peeking through the billows of white. It certainly left me in awe and prompted me to write about it. **

**Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed reading from Germany's perspective. He is quite the interesting character to write. Though if I may ask, do you think Germany deserves forgiveness? Do you think he's wasting his time? Or should Italy forgive and forget so they can both move on? Let me know, I always love reading what everyone has to say. **

**I hope everybody has a safe and happy Halloween! **

**Until next time**

**mcpidy **

* * *

**Translations**

**German**:

Dankeschön – Thank you (Formal)

Nichts zu danken – Don't mention it

Hakenkreuz - swastika

Oh Gott, wie ich ihn hasse - God I hate him

Ja! Vielen, vielen Dank! - Yes! Thank you so much.

Rede - Talk

Vollidiot! Verdammt, das ist nicht fair! - dumbass! It's not fair goddammit

Genau das wollte ich hören - Good for you sir

Danke - Thank you

Jawohl, mein Herr - yes sir

Danke nochmal - Thanks again

Guten Tag! Kann ich ihnen irgendwie behilflich sein? - Good afternoon sir! May I help you with anything?

Nein, ich schaue mich nur etwas um. Aber trotzdem danke. - No, I'm just looking around. Thank you though.

Lassen sie es mich wissen, falls sie etwas benötigen. - Let me know if you need anything!

Bedienung - shopkeeper


	14. A not so happy birthday

**Chapter 14 – A not so happy birthday **

**Hello again! **

**I know I told kara-hime24 that I'd get this updated ASAP, but I totally forgot that this past weekend was Memorial Day weekend here in the U.S. so I had to spend most of Friday and Saturday with family. Still better late than never. I'm going to try and update this fic regularly now that it's the summer. **

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters **

* * *

**_Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man._**

**— Friedrich Nietzsche**

It felt odd waking up without a hangover. I'd been up since 8 a.m. with nothing to do but pace my room back and forth. After a quick shower I dressed in my military attire and smoothed my hair back. This was the best I've looked all week. I glanced at the brightly wrapped box sitting on my desk. It would be a few more hours before Italy finally got up. My mind kept running through the numerous possibilities of today's outcome. Would Italy like the gift? What if he didn't? What do I do then? Do I take it back and exchange it for something else? Christoff and Felix didn't tell me what to do if he outright refused the gift. Do I still apologize? Or not say anything at all?

I sat down on the bed, pulling my hair for the hundredth time. "Shisse."

The last thing I wanted was make everything worse. Well, more than it already was. The gift seemed like a nice idea at first, but now that it came time to give it, I found myself hesitating. Italy and I haven't been on the best of terms as of late. I still wasn't completely sure if this gift was going to make things any better. What irked me the most was that I had no way of completely knowing. It was not like I could call someone up and ask. Japan and my brother were no help and I couldn't just ask Italy. All I could do was sit here and continue to pull my hair out.

_This is absolutely ridiculous. I've always met a challenge head on with zero hesitation. This time should be no different. All I need to do is give Italy the gift and apologize. It is not that difficult. _

And yet looking at that finely wrapped gift still churned my stomach. The box was wrapped in a stunning scarlet wrapping and tied together with a golden bow. It looked bright and colorful, much like Italy was himself. Picking it up, the box felt so light in my hands, as if it were empty. I held the box close as I exited my room and swiftly headed to my office. I felt more in control of myself inside my workplace. My office had been somewhat neglected during my drunken escapades. The room had spots of dust on the bookshelves and a few stacks of papers were not aligned correctly. I suddenly had the urge to start cleaning, my fingers twitching at the sight of dust bunnies.

_At least this will take my mind off of Italy for a moment_

I started on the windows, wiping down each one until the glass was perfectly translucent. Next I dusted off the bookshelves before re-alphabetizing every single book by the author's last name. The repetitive work eased my mind and stopped my nerves from jittering. Cleaning and organizing was like mediation for me. Ironically, actual meditation did the opposite. Trying to relax made me tense. I tried it once with Italy and I didn't like it.

My grandfather clock rang, signaling the time. Italy should be rolling out of bed now. With my work office completely spotless, I smoothed down my hair for the hundredth time and made my way towards the door. Walking down the steps, I could feel my heart racing. I clutched the red package tighter in my hands. The kitchen was thankfully empty. I let out a quick sigh of relief. If Italy were still asleep that gave me more time to think over my next words. Glancing at the basement steps, I tried not to think about what my bruder and Italy might be doing down there.

The phone rang, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Zis is Germany speaking." I said into the receiver.

"Germany—zis is General Hans Oster from the Military Intelligence Office." The man on the other end spoke with supreme authority.

"Guten morgen general, vhat can I do for you?"

"General Ludvig Beck and I are holding a private meeting about the Furur and we need you in attendance."

"Private meeting?" I said skeptically.

"Ja…I'm sure you've taken notice about our leader's lack of judgment recently."

Yes—this war was taking an unimaginable toll on the county and its people. My men were dying each day on the battle field. We were slowly running out of resources and soldiers. Just recently, I had to start pulling men from Northern Italy to fight in the war. It only got worse from there. My boss showed no signs of giving up or pulling back. He was fully prepared to run my country into the dirt.

"Ja, I have." A cold breeze blew in from the window.

"Zen I vill expect to see you shortly."

The other line clicked. I placed the red package down on the counter and promptly shut the window. It looked especially cold outside today. The clouds shrouded the land in a dark overcast. Almost like smoke from a fire. I grabbed my military coat off the rack and quickly left out the door.

The red package sat forgotten in the kitchen.

* * *

"Meow!"

I poked my head out of the bathroom. Clove was inside Prussia's closet and clawing at the wall. Prussia had already left by the time I got up. I finished brushing my teeth and hurried over to the bedroom closet.

"Ve~ Clove, what are you doing in there?"

The little cat continued to at paw at the wall. It was like he was trying to tell me something. I looked at the blank, tan wall. There was nothing unusual about it. No stains or markings whatsoever. Yet Clove continued to claw at it, mewling and glancing up at me.

_What on earth is he trying to tell me?_

I placed my ear against the wall, listening for any odd sounds. Suddenly the wall opened. I fell through with a loud yelp. My face connected with the hard floor, the smell of dust running up my nose. Clove hopped onto my back, mewling in triumph. I poked my head up and looked around the dark room. With only a faint light shining behind me, I could barely make out the contents of the mystery room. Gradually, I got up from the floor, brushing dust bunnies from my shirt. I felt along the wall until my fingers came upon a light switch.

With a simple click, the room illuminated into a vast grander of bookshelves. The room was immense, at least 10 times bigger than Germany's basement. I coughed into my hand. This room looked like it hadn't been cleaned in years. The air was stale and cold. The books themselves were timeworn and moth-ridden. Clove walked further ahead of me while I stared at the vastness of the bookshelves. I picked one up and turned it around. The books all looked the same on the outside. There was no title or anything of the sort. They were all just blank, black covers.

I opened it up and found that the book was actually a journal. Prussia's journal to be exact. This one dated back to the Middle Ages. The handwriting was very simple and childish. It looked to be written in crayon as well. The text read:

_The Great Prussia's diary volume 167 (I am awesome!)_

_ Today was a great day for Prussia! But this is to be expected since I am the great and powerful Prussia. Today WAS a great day though! Those heathen heretics saw a devastating defeat at the hands of my awesomeness! The tears they shed were the delicious icing on a perfect cake. I even had the privilege of striking down their precious leader in front of their very eyes! It was awesome! Just like my awesome self. After our glorious victory we held the ceremonial sacrificing of a horse to commemorate our conquest. The sacrifice went smoothly for once and no one was kicked by the horse! It really was a great day for Prussia!_

Closing the book, I quickly put it back on the shelf. I thought that Prussia's ritual of sacrificing horses was just a rumor. Apparently not. My eyes drifted over the thousands of journals before me. There were so many it was staggering. I've never heard of a country keeping a journal of himself. Most would think that the very idea of it was crazy. But then again this was Prussia. The man was not exactly playing with a full deck.

The thought of Prussia sent a wave of fear through me. If the Prussian caught me here, he'd throw a fit. These journals were obviously kept secret for a reason. I'm sure Prussia would never want anyone to read them. I can only imagine the dark secrets hidden between these old pages. Secrets that date back to the 14th century. Things that Germany probably doesn't even know about.

I glanced at the entrance.

This was my only chance to find out about the real Prussia. To uncover the madness behind those red irises. I needed to know how and why Prussia is the way he is. And these journals held the answers. But where to start? There was no telling when exactly this madness of his started. Prussia is one of the oldest nations and there are thousands of journals in here. I could be in here for days trying to find my answers. And I had such a limited amount of time. Prussia could walk down here at any given moment.

_But I have to try._

I picked up another journal and skimmed though its contents. This one was another from Prussia's childhood. It provided nothing of real significance, just the usual banter of how awesome he thought he was. I scanned through dozens of more journals. Flipping through pages upon pages of silly nonsense. While searching through journals, I made sure to listen for any footsteps coming down the stairs. I didn't want to take any chances in this situation.

I happened upon a journal that wasn't written in crayon. The handwriting was elegant and precise yet it still held the arrogant voice of Prussia. The journal entry was dated June 30th 1866:

_The Great Prussia's diary Volume 618 (I'm still awesome!)_

_That stupid Austrian refuses to give up! He and that fat cow Hungary continue to waste my precious time with their futile battle efforts. Silesia is mine! That region and everything in it belongs to the awesome me. These idiots will feel the true awesomeness of Prussia if my property is not soon bestowed to me. Just the very thought of Austria taking claim to what is mine makes me sick to my stomach. And the way Hungary dotes upon him. UGH! It's disgusting! But then again those two have always been that way, ever since I can remember. I don't know why seeing them together caused me to suddenly feel ill. It's not as if I'm jealous of what they have. Far from it. I just think they look stupid together that's all. Austria himself reminds of that little heathen from so long ago. That determined look in his eye. It makes me want to rip his eyes out of their sockets. I don't ever want to be reminded of that fucking heretic. Or how I felt towards him. Those are memories I never want to relive. I never want to feel that kind of pain again in my life. _

The entry ended there.

I placed it back on the shelf. It wasn't much, but it was something. Whatever happened between Prussia and this 'heretic' must be the cause of this pent up aggression he has. Clearly the Prussian was jealous of Mr. Austria and Ms. Hungary's relationship. Seeing them together for so many years must have got to him. Why else would he behave in such a way after all? But there was still more to uncover. Now I needed to find an older entry of Prussia's. The one that mentions this heretic.

_I bet the entry is during Prussia's days as a Teutonic Knight. _

"Meow!"

Clove was standing on one of the shelves and knocked over a journal. A cloud of dust poofed up when the book hit the floor. The little cat hopped down and started rubbing between my legs as I picked up the dusty journal. This one looked especially tattered. The pages were slightly ripped at the edges and the dust almost made the text illegible. Despite that, I did manage to read a few select parts the entry. This one was the most legible:

_The Great Prussia's Diary Volume 129 (I'm Awesome!) _

_I finally met with the heretic nation today. It was the same guy I met at Jerusalem all those years ago. He still looked as weak as he did then! Puny and unthreatening. You should have seen the pathetic arsenal he had set up. As if his bows and arrows would actually be a match for the awesome me! Ha! I pointed and laughed in his face, just like when we first met. I told him that he's still weak. To my surprise, the little nation held his ground. He defied me, saying that I was the weak one. There was a blue fire in his eyes. It made my stomach feel weird. This pathetic nation actually had the balls to stand up to me? _

_I fought him of course. There's no way I'd allow someone like him to talk back to me. He lost just as expected, but he didn't look defeated. Even as he picked himself up off the ground, that blue fire pierced right through me. Twisting my gut and making my heart race. I hated it. I hated him. Someone like him deserved to burn at the stake. Not only was he weak, he mocked the very God I believed in! His entire nation was one big cesspool of heathens. Those pagans actually believed that there was more than one God and that nature should be respected! Can you believe such nonsense? The heretic nation tried explaining his heathen ways to me, but I refused to hear it. I told him that he had two options. Throw away his pagan beliefs and join me in my crusades. Or burn in the coldest pits of hell after succumbing to an untimely death at my hands. The heathen barely batted an eye. He didn't say a word. He didn't have to. The answer was clear in his eyes. Like it mattered. That blue fire will soon burn out. He will know a Prussian's wrath. _

Clove hissed at the entryway, making me jump. I soon heard footsteps coming down the stairs. My stomach dropped on cue. I put the journal back exactly where it was and scooped Clove into my arms. Each pounding footstep caused the world to appear in slow motion. Prussia would be opening the bedroom door in a matter of seconds. By some miracle, I managed to close the massive doors and slip out of the closet just as Prussia walked in.

He smiled with his hands behind his back. "Guten morgen Italien. You look wunderschön."

I smiled back, as forceful as it was. "Grazie."

Prussia kissed the side of my face, his hands still hidden behind his back. It looked like he was trying to hide a small box. A quick glimpse showed me that the wrapping paper was a scarlet red. The Prussian had a cheeky smile on his face. It reminded me of the cat that caught the canary.

"I know zat nations don't usually celebrate their birthdays, but I think in zis case we can make an exception." Prussia held out the scarlet box with a grin.

_That's right, I almost forgot…it's my birthday today._

A golden bow held the box together. It felt so light in my hands, like it could float away at any moment. I smiled happily though I felt miserable on the inside. I didn't want any gifts from Prussia. Anything he got for me just felt like another kick in the stomach. All because of a foolish lie. It's bad enough he got me that horrid birdcage with the trapped bird inside. I could only imagine what was inside this scarlet box. Prussia waited eagerly as I undid the bow and unwrapped the present.

What I found was a beautiful scarf. It felt so soft in my hands, like a mixture of cotton and silk. The scarf itself was the same color as the wrapping paper. At the ends, two patches of the German coat of arms were sewn with perfection. I've always admired Germany's crest. It was stark and proud. Just like Germany. I traced my thumb down the black eagle. A tiny smile traced my lips.

"Do you like it?" Prussia asked.

I quickly snapped out of my thoughts.

"Si, è bello."

I loved the scarf, I just wish it hadn't been from Prussia. Something so perfect couldn't possibly be from him. It almost felt like the scarf was chosen by someone else. This didn't seem like something Prussia would buy. Prussia would want to get something over-the-top or extravagant. Not a simple scarf. But I knew that questioning him about it would have disastrous results. Instead I thanked him for such a lovely gift and smiled politely.

There was a cocky glint in his eye. "You're welcome mein Italien. Only za best for you."

I could hear Clove growling from underneath the bed.

"Here, let's see how it looks on you." I tried not to flinch as Prussia wrapped the scarf around my neck.

It felt like a noose coiling around me. The beautiful scarf now seemed like a snake trying to strangle me. Or perhaps it was more like a lock and chain. Binding me to Prussia. The ashen-haired man smiled proudly at his handiwork. His smiled faded a bit when he glanced at the patchwork. He pinched one end of the scarf between his pale fingers.

"I think za Prussian coat of arms would look much better. Don't you agree?" The way he said it told me there was only one right answer to that question.

I quickly stuttered a response. "S-si Gilbert. I think it would look much better."

He smiled before bringing me into a heated kiss. I moaned in discomfort, but Prussia took it as a sign to deepen the kiss. He gripped my hair tightly and ran his other hand down my back until cupping my butt. The Prussian pulled me flush against him. I found myself trying to break free from his grasp. Prussia saw my struggles as nervous jitters and held me tighter. His tongue ran along my bottom lip. The act felt revolting. I could feel the man's bulge rubbing into my midriff, making me even more uncomfortable. Thankfully he pulled away, allowing me to take in some much needed air.

He smirked. "Gute. Now I've made dinner reservations for tonight so be ready by 8 o'clock sharp."

And with that, he left back up the steps. I sat down on the bed with a heavy sigh. Clove hopped into my arms. His ears were turned to the side as he growled at the stairs. I guess Clove wasn't too fond of Prussia either. I scratched behind his ear, trying to calm us both down.

Today felt like it was going to be a bad day.

* * *

I waited in the kitchen for Prussia. The red scarf around my neck was starting to make me sweat. The man was still trying to fix his hair in the bathroom. I told him it looked fine, but he was not convinced. He told me he wanted tonight to be special. Honestly I just wanted to get this day over with. Birthdays were nothing special when you were a nation. They were only fun if you had loved ones to celebrate it with. Romano surprisingly called earlier today. Not only to wish me a happy birthday, but also to check up on me. I told him everything was fine. He didn't buy it. Though truthfully, today was going alright. Neither Prussia nor Germany have yelled at me today or tried to strike me.

_In fact, I haven't seen Germany all day today. Where could he be? I hope he's not out drinking again. _

The front door opened followed by a string of German curses. That was definitely Germany. The large man walked into the kitchen and froze upon seeing me. To my astonishment, he didn't look drunk or hung-over. His hair was washed and his military uniform looked clean and spotless. I tried to greet him with a smile. He didn't return it. He just kept staring at me. As if I were a ghost or something.

"Germany?"

A quick flash of anger hardened his face. I stepped away from him, instinctively going on the defensive. Germany halted his movements, looking hurt. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"Vhere did you get zat scarf Italy?" His words were stiff.

I tried not to stammer. "Prussia gave it to me. It's a birthday gift."

At the mentioning of his brother's name, Germany clenched his jaw along with his fists. He looked ready to explode. That familiar tingle of fear trickled up my spine. Germany was scary when he was truly angry. I think even Russia would be frightened of him at this moment. Maybe.

"Ready to go Italien?" Prussia asked as he came bounding up the stairs.

He stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw Germany. The grin on his face paled slightly at the sight of Germany's steaming features. Prussia soon bounced back though and sported his trademark smirk. He came up beside me, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Shall ve?" Prussia asked, pulling me towards the door.

Germany stopped us.

"Vhere did you get zat scarf bruder?" He nearly barked.

Prussia smiled. "I bought it for mein Italien za other day. Don't you like it?"

Prussia ran his finger down the scarf. He held me closer, smirking at Germany all the while. Germany looked utterly speechless. Like he couldn't comprehend what he was seeing. He looked like he wanted to shout and punch the wall. I waited for the initial outburst. Germany glanced at me, his face softening for just a moment. He moved aside and allowed us to pass. He kept his eyes on the floor as he practically ran out of the room. For a flashing second, I had the strongest urge to go after him. To apologize for everything and finally come clean. I wanted to so badly it hurt. But Germany had already left, leaving me alone with Prussia. The room felt so empty without him.

"Let's go Italien." Prussia pulled me out the door and into his jeep.

On the drive to the restaurant, my head was clouded with so many thoughts. The war. Christoff. My country. Romano. The Allies. Germany. The Axis. Prussia. The letter. So many problems with so few solutions. I doubt even grandpa Rome would know how to get out of this situation.

I smiled sadly. _What am I saying? Of course he would. He was the great Roman Empire. My grandfather could do anything._

Prussia pulled up to a fancy-looking restaurant. The place looked expensive. Walking inside, I was hit with the strong smell of beer and sausage. There were lots of people inside. I noticed a few of Germany's troops near the bar.

A tall server walked up to us. "Guten abend. Table for two?"

Prussia nodded. "Ja danke."

The server led us through a maze of tables. Prussia kept his arm around my waist. The tight grip almost felt like a warning. I happened to glance towards the bar when I heard a round of laughter from Germany's troops. One of them spotted me and waved. I quickly waved back, trying hard not to catch Prussia's attention. The tallest of the group turned around, almost causing me to stumble in my footsteps.

Christoff grinned and waved at me.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone that's reviewed so far. **

**Until next time**

**mcpidy**


	15. Depredation

**Chapter 15 – Depredation**

**Warning: Contains non-con**

* * *

_Grandpa Rome if you're truly watching down on me__—you're doing a real shit job. _

I thought my heart was going to give out when Prussia turned his head and caught Christoff waving at me. My first instinct was to run. I waited for Prussia to turn his snarling face on me, demanding to know why that man was waving at me and smiling. I almost started to tremble in his grasp. That outburst never came though. Prussia merely grinned and waved back. A trickle of sweat ran down my temple.

"It's nice to see za troops having fun for a change. West can be a real prick to zem sometimes." Prussia said as he led me through the restaurant.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Prussia was one to talk. Looking back at the bar, I could see that Christoff had turned back towards his peers. I thanked the high heavens he did not decide to come over and greet me. That certainly would've been a disaster. Prussia released his iron grip as we took our seats. A server handed us two menus before dipping back into the kitchen. My heart was still racing. Prussia grinned at me to which I shakily returned with a weak smile. I wanted to order our food, eat and leave this place as quickly as possible. Normally I'd be ecstatic to eat at a restaurant, especially if someone else was paying. But right now, I had zero appetite.

"Vhat would you like Ita-chan?" Prussia broke my chain of thought.

_I'm actually not familiar with any of these items…_

"Why don't you choose for me Gilbert?" I said politely.

The albino man smiled, placing his pale hand on top of mine. When the server returned Prussia ordered two plates of beef roulade with steamed potatoes. Before the waiter left I asked for a bottle of wine. I had a feeling I was going to need it to get through this night. Prussia commented on how the wine was a good idea for our romantic dinner. I wanted to tell him there was absolutely nothing romantic about any of this. The forced smile remained plastered on my face.

When the server came back with the wine, I nearly attacked him for the bottle. I poured myself a large glass and downed it instantly. The red wine washed down my gullet with ease and erased some of my tensions. Prussia raised his eyebrows at my avarice, but chose not to comment. The bottle was nearly gone when the server came back with our completely breadsticks. I ordered another bottle. The waiter gave me an odd look before bringing back another thing of wine.

Prussia moved the bottle before I could pour myself a glass. "You should pace yourself Ita-chan. You're going to get drunk before za food even gets here."

I chuckled without any humor. "Mi dispiace. It's just been so long since I've had wine."

_Though I hardly ever get drunk. Prussia underestimates the dexterity of Italian's and their alcohol. _

I chanced a quick glance at Christoff. He was laughing jollily with his comrades. I wanted to smack myself for my own stupidity. Christoff didn't know about Prussia. And thankfully vice versa. But it would only take one little slip up for everything to go haywire. It was selfish of me to drag this young man into my problems. He didn't deserve to be put at risk like this. Christoff didn't even know the danger that was sitting just a few feet away from him.

"So have you ever given any thought to marriage Ita-chan?" Prussia asked.

My eyes snapped up to his, wide with confusion.

"Huh?"

Prussia's face remained reserved. "Marriage. Have you ever given any thought to it?"

_What is he talking about?_

I quickly shook my head. "N-no…I've never really thought about it. I've never had to."

It was certainly an odd thing to ask. Marriage between nations was always strictly political. Nations never married out of love, it was always about following our boss's orders. If a country was struggling economically for example, they could marry a more powerful nation in order to retain a better financial status. Marriage was never to be taken lightly. Because it meant that two nations would literally become one. It was a big decision to make. I've never had to consider marriage in the past because my country has always been able to hold out on it's own. Marriage was for nations on the verge of collapsing or trapped in a heated war.

Prussia picked up one of the breadsticks and broke it in half. "Vell I think it is something you should start considering."

His voice suddenly became tense.

"What do you mean?" I asked nervously.

Prussia casually poured himself another glass of wine, a knowing smile on his face. His casualness had me treading on eggshells. Whatever Prussia was getting at couldn't be good. The noises of the restaurant seemed like they were miles away when the Prussian opened his mouth to speak.

"I vould like to marry you Feli."

I nearly choked on my breadstick.

"C-cosa?" Breadcrumbs sputtered onto my chin.

Prussia looked unfazed by my distress. "Swallow your food before you speak Ita-chan."

I wiped the crumbs off my face and tried to regain my composure. This was difficult as my heart threatened to beat right out of my chest. The walls felt like they were closing in on me. What Prussia was asking had me cornered. I could never marry him. My boss wouldn't allow it. Prussia has to know this. He had to be aware that this marriage fiasco was ridiculous. He had to know that the only answer I could give him was no.

"Gilbert—I cannot marry you."

Those crimson eyes narrowed.

"Vhy za hell not?"

My eyes mirrored his. "You know damn well why not."

Prussia and I both gaped in unison. It was rare for me to curse in anger. The wine must've loosened my vocabulary. Although I think it was the combination of stress and alcohol that caused me to swear like that. I swallowed some spit. It felt like a mouthful of rocks. Prussia quickly recovered from my brief outburst. He moved the wine bottle out of my reach.

"Perhaps you've had enough vine for tonight."

Our food arrived a moment later. The steaming plates were set before us as the wafting smell of meat and potatoes hit my senses. The food smelled exquisite, but my stomach had no desire to eat. I would probably just throw it up anyway. There were too many stress knots in my gut. Prussia was never going to drop this subject until he got a straight answer.

Prussia grabbed his knife and stabbed it into his meat. "I vant to marry you. Vhat is wrong vith zat?"

I poked at my food. "My boss would never—"

His fist slammed into the table. "I don't give a shit vhat your boss thinks!"

The table next to us looked up from their plates. Their wide eyes were filled with surprised confusion. The waiter sent us a quizzical glance. I quickly looked away, as did Prussia. Thankfully for me, this wasn't the best place for Prussia to hold an argument. Prussia cleared his throat before speaking.

"I don't give a shit vhat your boss thinks." He said in a quieter tone.

"That changes nothing Gilbert. Marriage will never be an option for me."

I glanced at Christoff again.

Prussia followed my wandering eye. "Vhy not? I vant a valid explanation."

"Marriage is for nations on the verge of collapsing. My country is just buono."

Prussia smirked.

"Is zat vhat you've been telling yourself Ita-chan? Zat Northern Italy is doing just fine?"

I didn't want to answer that.

Prussia's smirk widened. "You've exhausted your country's resources. You're people are divided. You have German troops sectioned in every part of your home. The royal family is probably thinking of fleeing the country and letting the people fend for themselves. Your boss is on the verge of a breakdown. Do you really think your country is just _buono_?"

The silence that lingered afterward was painful.

I've been in denial about my country's status for so long. I never wanted to think about it because it scared me. Everything happened so fast. I never once considered my people's well-being when I joined this war. I only wanted to help Germany. But now that was all coming back to bite me. My selfishness. My stupidity. All of it. And now I was left in a compromising position with this ticking time bomb.

"I-I…u-uh…I…"

"You need someone to straighten things out. To get everything organized and running smoothly. You need me. And the way I can help is by marrying you. Your country could use a Prussian's touch."

My hands shook underneath the table. Everything that Prussia said was true. If he proposed the idea to my boss, I wouldn't put it past him to agree with it. If marrying Prussia meant our country could get back on its feet quicker, my boss would take it. The thought terrified me. I'd rather eat at Britain's house for the rest of my life than go through with that marriage.

Prussia looked towards the bar again. Christoff was looking at us. Or more precisely, me. The young soldier grinned and waved cheekily at us. His comrades looked plastered at this point. Prussia watched him skeptically. I tried to loosen the tie around my neck. My clothes suddenly felt sweltering.

"Do you know him?" Prussia asked.

"Who?" I tried playing dumb.

He motioned to the group of soldiers. "Zat burly one vith za dirt-blonde hair. Za one zat's smiling at us."

I couldn't stop myself from stuttering. "U-umm…s-s-i…I know him."

There was no point in lying. It was clear in the way Christoff was looking at us. I just prayed that he'd turn back to his friends and ignore us. Prussia's knuckles were already cracking. A clear sign that he was not happy. He looked about ready to snap.

"How do you know him?"

I tried to keep cool.

"I took over Germany's training one afternoon that day you and Germany were…_indisposed_."

My eyes rolled at the recollection of their brotherly brashness.

Prussia still didn't look pleased. "And vhat? You chatted vith zem?"

The memory of that night at the pub came rushing back. Japan had to lie for me in order to keep Prussia and Germany from having a fit. I only had a few drinks with the troops, but that's not what I've been trying to keep hidden. My night with Christoff and the morning after. Although nothing happened, we still went to bed together and kissed many a times. Prussia could never find out about that.

"I instructed them just like Germany would." I said as openly as possible.

Prussia didn't even blink.

"You didn't answer my question."

He knew something was up. Prussia was no fool. My foot was already halfway in the grave. This night was slowly edging towards a complete disaster. And on my birthday no less.

And things were only getting worse from there.

Christoff stumbled over to us, a mug of beer dripping foam down his fingers. My heart sped up. Things were quickly spiraling out of control. The young soldier was clearly drunk. He could easily let something slip between his drunken ramblings. I tried to get up from my seat.

"Mi scusi Gilbert…I have to use the restroo-"

Prussia grabbed my arm and forced me back down.

"Vhat are you hiding Italien?" He growled.

"Feli! So good to see you again sonnenschein!" Christoff leaned down and pulled me into a quick hug.

I timidly returned it. Prussia looked shocked, but didn't say anything. Christoff reeked of beer and cigarettes. His hair was also a mess. He resembled Germany on a bender, although Christoff seemed to be a happy drunk instead of an angry one. Seeing his bright face suddenly had me terrified for his life. I would never forgive myself if something happened to him because of my own selfishness.

I patted his broad shoulder. "Christoff mi amigo, you should get back to your friends before they have all the crazy fun without you."

The young soldier didn't catch the distress in my voice or the warning in my eyes. His beer goggles prevented that. Christoff slid into the booth with his other arm still wrapped around me. Prussia's breathing came out in short, quick breaths. He looked to be biting the inside of his lip.

"I've missed you Feli." Christoff slurred.

He leaned closer so his forehead brushed against my temple. His hot breath washed over my panicked face. I tried putting some distance between us, but Christoff only held me tighter. I was too scared to even look at Prussia. I could just feel the pure rage wafting off him. Christoff was so drunkenly unaware of the imminent threat sitting in front of him. I lowered my voice and leaned in close to him.

"Per favore you need to—"

His lips grazed my ear. "Have you missed me too?"

My face blushed. I could feel Christoff's large hand running up my thigh. I stopped his teasing fingers before they could go any higher. This was not the time and place for such things. Despite the teasing voice of big brother France egging me on inside my head. Christoff was not only a happy drunk…he was also a horny drunk. I heard a metallic bending noise coming from Prussia. A quick glance showed me that he'd bent his fork in half.

"Let's run away together…" Christoff moaned.

Prussia knocked the table as he stood up.

"Genug!"

The entire restaurant went deathly silent. Forks clanged onto plates as everyone turned to look at us. The servers whispered between each other, looking distrustful. Prussia slowly took his seat, straitening his uniform out of reflex. He cast his glaring eyes upon Christoff who flinched from the sight. His arm gradually slipped away from me. Prussia's face held no emotion whatsoever.

"Italy and I were in za middle of something solider. I think its best you return to your drunken posse before I remove you myself." His voice was impassive, but I still caught the fuming monster hidden underneath.

Christoff nodded, removing himself from the booth. "Ja…entschuldigen sie bitte."

He turned to me as if to say one last thing, but Prussia stopped him.

"Now, solider."

This time he let the monster slip into his voice loud and clear.

Christoff left soon after that, pausing only to send me a worried look. The restaurant fell back into the normal hum of conversations and scurrying waiters. If it weren't for all these people, Prussia would've physically done something to Christoff. They were the only reason I wasn't facing a snarling Prussian at the moment. But it was the calm before the storm. I couldn't stay in this restaurant forever and Prussia wouldn't allow me to call Japan to come pick me up.

"So…you know him ja? Is zat right?"

I was too scared to utter a word.

"Japan never invited you out to drinks, did he?"

The silence spoke the truth.

"You lied to me."

He sounded hurt.

"And for vhat?"

That anger seeped back in.

"For some fucking no-name soldier?"

This time I looked at him.

He looked betrayed, like any scorned lover should. It hurt to see the wounded look on Prussia's face. Even despite all the hardship Prussia put me through, it was no excuse for my actions. I should have never gotten involved with Christoff. That was a foolish mistake. It was stupid of me to think that a young soldier could be the knight and shining armor to my problems.

"How many other soldiers are you fucking around vith?" Prussia tightened his hold on the steak knife.

I took a deep breath. "I did not sleep with him. We went out for few drinks and passed out at the tavern. We may have kissed a bit, but nothing else happened."

I knew it was folly to try and explain myself, but it was worth a shot.

Prussia snorted. "You expect me to believe that crock of horse shit? You could be fucking the entire goddamn army for all I know! You fucking hure." He spat the last words out.

Now I was starting to get angry. "Don't call me that."

He grinned, a nasty glint swirling in his red iris. "Vhy? It's vhat you are after all. A cock sucking, cum guzzling, open legged, bitch in heat, _puttana._"

Hearing him call me that in my native tongue lit a flame inside me.

I grabbed my half empty wine glass and threw it in his face. The red wine dripped off his pale features and onto his once clean uniform. A slew of gasps could be heard throughout the room followed by hushed whispers. This must have been an interesting night for the restaurant patrons. I slipped on my coat and hurriedly made my way towards the exit. I pushed past the servers, too angry to even offer one 'excuse me'.

Outside, the cold night air hit me like a truck. The streets were empty, to which I was grateful. I moved down the sidewalk, holding my coat tight against me. The scarf Prussia had given me thankfully kept my body a little warmer. I heard the door to the restaurant burst open a second later. The heavy stomp of military boots followed soon after. I wasn't surprised by the iron grip that took hold of my arm.

"Vhere za hell do you think you're going?" Prussia barked.

I pulled my arm out of his grip. "Away from you."

He grabbed both of my arms and spun me around to face him.

"You do not talk to me like zat!"

"Let go!"

Prussia released his grip, causing me to stumble back. We both stared each other down. For once I was more angry than scared. I tried to go around Prussia, but he quickly moved to block my path. He looked determined to keep me with him.

"I could kill him you know."

My eyes widened.

Prussia stepped closer. "I could drag you back into zat restaurant and shoot him right in front of you."

The image burned a hole inside my head. A fierce feeling of protectiveness rose up in me. Something I hadn't felt in a long time.

"You will not touch one hair on his head Prussia. Capisci?" I was starting to sound like my brother.

Prussia looked dumbfounded. I think this was the first time I actually stood up to him. It was a shock for us both. The streets were now completely empty. The quiet that hung in the air was almost frightening. I didn't like this feeling of absolute solitude. It felt like a warning.

Prussia dragged me to the car and threw me in. I could hardly protest in Prussia's strong grip. The ex-nation could easily manhandle me into the vehicle anyway. We drove in uncomfortable silence that felt like an eternity. But he didn't turn back home. Prussia instead drove to a different part of town. One I've never been to. This street was filled with large warehouses that the townspeople hardly ever used. The empty shacks resembled skewered faces. The dark windows were empty eye sockets while the doors laid out were like gaping mouths.

"There is something I want to show you Italy. Something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time." Prussia spoke softly as if whispering a lullaby.

Prussia's sudden mood swing had me nervous. When we pulled up to one of the warehouses, I didn't want to get out of the car. This place was dark and creepy. The building itself looked moth ridden. Still, I knew I couldn't just sit here. Prussia brought me here for a reason and if he wanted me to go inside, he would force me. Prussia waited by the entrance, his hands clasped behind his back. I followed him in. The only light we had to go by was the moon shining in from the windows. It cast the floorboards in a silvery glow. Prussia led me over to an old worktable. He stared off into nothing. His face a blank slate.

I had no time to react when Prussia curled his fist and slammed it into cheek. My back hit the floor instantly. There was a sharp ringing in my ear. Prussia lifted me up by the shirt and punched my face again. Blood spurted out of my nose like a running faucet. Pain flooded my eyes causing them to water and swell up. I couldn't see anything. Just a dark blur of silver hair and crimson eyes. Prussia continued to whale on me. I held my arms up to protect my head. My thoughts were already hazy and disjointed. The sharp ringing only worsened.

Prussia let my head fall to the floor as he stood up. I laid there, tears and blood pouring down my face. My face throbbed. The skin felt so hot I thought my head was on fire. One of my eyes had completely swollen shut. The other was just a small slit too blurred from all the tears. I couldn't breathe out of my nose. It was clogged with blood and broken cartilage. My whole face felt smashed in. I doubt anyone would even recognize me.

Prussia then proceeded to kick me in the gut. I tried to curl in on myself, but the kicks landed everywhere. My shoulder. Collarbone. Ribcage. Stomach. Thigh. Arms. Spine. Knees. Crotch. Everywhere. Soon I lost the energy to protect myself. I just lied there like a dead fish. The throbbing pain spread throughout my entire body. It hurt so much. It even hurt to breathe. The kicks soon stopped and I thought my torment was finally over. I heard Prussia pace the room back and forth. Mumbling to himself.

_Please let this be over._

His boot came down right on my shoulder blade and dislocated it.

It sounded like the snapping of a tree branch. I screamed. The pain was blinding. Like white hot lava being forced into my veins. I tried moving my arm and screamed again. My fingers twitched. I swam in and out of consciousness.

_Am I going to die?_

Prussia grabbed me by the collar and hoisted me up. I felt myself being dragged across the floor and flung onto the dusty worktable. My face hit the table hard, but it was nothing compared to the blinding pain in my shoulder. The skin already felt like it was swollen to the size of a football. Being flung so carelessly caused my dislocated shoulder to flare up again. I moaned from the inescapable discomfort. I just wanted to fall asleep and stay there. Anything was better than this.

It took me a few seconds to realize that my lower half suddenly felt cold. Prussia had yanked my pants down. I didn't understand what was going on until I felt my legs being pushed apart. Prussia was now leaning over my backside with his chest rubbing up against my back. In my blood-filled haze, I now realized what was going on. A surge of panic flooded my system. I tried pleading with the mad man, but I could hardly form a single word. All I could do was lay there and cry.

A new kind of pain cut me. It tore through my body and sliced into my very being. The pain from before was butterfly kisses in comparison. I raked my nails down the table. My stomach threatened to spill its contents. I felt sick. Blood trickled down my shivering thighs. Prussia kicked my legs further apart and sped up the pace. Every thrust stabbed into my soul and tainted it with malevolent filth. I would never be clean again. I could hear Prussia's grunts and moans from above. His fingers dug into my sides as he moved in and out of me.

I don't know how long the torture went on for.

I just know that I passed out watching the moon rise over the sky.

* * *

**Ok now before somebody forms a lynch mob, please know that the last scene was extremely difficult to write. I've written dark scenes before, but doing this to Italy almost hurt. I've already put him through so much shit that **_**this**_** part just felt cruel to write. Still, the good will seem so much better compared to the bad now. Also I'm sorry for making everybody hate Prussia in this story. I just wanted him to be the antagonist. If I ever write another Hetalia fic with him in it, I promise not to make so dick-ish like I've done here. **

**Leave a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter and how the last scene turned out. **

**Until next time**

**mcpidy **

* * *

**Translations**

**Italian**:

Mi dispiace – I'm sorry

Cosa - what

Mi scusi – excuse me

Per favore – please

Puttana – slut

Capisci – do you understand?

**German**:

Sonnenschein – sunshine

Genug – enough

Ja…entschuldigen sie bitte – Yes…please excuse me

Hure - whore


	16. Konsequenz

**Chapter 16 – Konsequenz **

* * *

"Italy?"

No response.

"Italy!"

Still nothing.

I was too afraid to check his pulse. Afraid that I might find an absent heartbeat. Italy lay sprawled on the floor. Blood coming out of all ends of his body. The moonlight cast him in an eerie glow. It was so quiet. Only my raspy breathing could be heard. Every inch of skin was covered in dark bruises. I hardly recognized him. There was still the aching urge to hurt him some more. He deserved it for hurting me like this.

But seeing him motionless had me scared.

I didn't want to kill him. Italy was still my lover. I just wanted to punish him for trying to go behind my back with that solider. He needed to be taught a lesson and that's what I did. I corrected him. Italy should have known better than to betray me. I am the great Prussia. No one deceives me. And those that do-know my wrath quite well.

A spurt of blood and spit came out of his mouth. Italy tried coughing again. This time more successfully. I knelt down next to his head. His chest rose and fell unevenly. Very gently, I cradled him. Being mindful not to move his shoulder. His right arm dangled from its socket. The bone protruded outward from the upper bicep, like it was trying to escape. I picked him up bridal style and carried him out to the car. If Italy was conscious I would've been able to relocate the shoulder myself. But it was nearly impossible with a limp body.

I placed him in the back seat. Using my coat, I propped his head up the best I could. Italy moaned something unintelligible. It sounded like 'stop'. I slammed the door shut and hopped in the driver's seat. The night air was freezing. My teeth chattered. I gripped the wheel tighter. Speeding through the streets, I paid no attention to the other drivers. I even drove though a couple stop signs. Flaring car horns came from all directions. I didn't care. I just needed to get Italy to the Doc as quickly as possible. The car came to a screeching halt when I finally reached my destination.

The lights to the house were all dark. No surprise. With great care, I picked Italy up and carried him up the door. He felt so light in my arms. I kicked the door with the toe of my boot.

"Doc! Wach auf! Ich brauche dich!"

After a few more seconds of pounding, the lights flicked on. I could hear curses and grumblings from the other side of the door. The door opened, a pissed off doctor looking me dead in the eye.

"Gilbert."

He didn't even need to ask.

There was no shock on his old face. Doc had seen worse than this. He moved aside to let me in. The room smelled like sterilizer and cinnamon. I heard a gasp from the kitchen. Doc's wife stood there in her pale night gown, one hand covering her mouth. An unexpected wave of guilt hit me. She didn't know that I was the one responsible for this beating. Doc knew better. He knew me better than most people. I followed him into the other room and laid Italy down on the table. Doc took off his sleeping robe and slipped his glasses on. He flashed me an accusatory glance. I looked the other way.

Italy looked even worse under the luminescent lighting. His bruises were a dark purple with blotches of green and yellow around them. Both eyes were black and swollen. His nose was red and crooked. A large gash traveled down from his upper lip. There was so much blood. He looked terrible. But this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for his selfish actions.

Doc rolled out his medical tray. "Go vait in za other room."

I silently obliged. The living room hadn't changed much since my last visit. Pictures of family and friends decorated the walls. The smell of freshly baked bread drifted over from the kitchen. Doc's wife collected porcelain horses which sat on a shelf next to the record player. It was a nice little life Doc had carved out for himself. The kind of life I always dreamt of growing up. I always wanted to live in a nice house with a loving family and good friends to share it with.

_Life has a funny way of screwing you over though. _

Doc's wife brought over a hot cup of tea.

"Here you go dear."

I gave her a weak smile.

"Danke."

She smiled back before joining her husband in the other room. Doc's wife used to work as a field nurse back in the day. That's actually how they first met.

_I think I remember that day. Germany had just entered the First World War. The two of us were stuck in the muddy trenches with nothing to pass the time but an old deck of cards. Britain, the dumb oaf, actually managed to find an opening in the trench and shoot me in the arm. Doc's wife was the first to get to me. The wound was bad and she couldn't stop the bleeding. I had to get driven to a hospital. It was inside the ambulance that Doc and his wife first met. Even while they were working on me, I could see the spark between them. I remember telling Germany about it afterward. He told me people fell in love all the time and that this was nothing special. I told him he was only being sour because he had never fallen in love._

"Gilbert?"

My head snapped up. The hot tea had long since gone cold. The sun was now just starting to peek over the hilltops. Doc's wife had splotches of red on her nurse apron. Her fingertips were crusted with dried blood. She looked exhausted. Her eyes looked a little red and swollen. Almost as if she'd been crying. She motioned for me to follow her into Doc's office. I set the full cup of tea down and shuffled into Doc's room. He was already sitting at his desk, an opened bottle of liquor in his hand. Doc's wife closed the door behind me.

Doc wouldn't look at me. He just kept on staring out the window. His hands were washed up, but there were still spots of blood on his once clean, white shirt. A few crickets chirped outside the window. It had been a long time since I watched the sun rise. I took the seat in front of his desk.

"How is he?" I finally asked.

Doc took a long swig of his bottle.

"You've done a lot things Gilbert. The kind of things people take to their graves."

My hands clenched.

Doc rubbed his eyes. "But _zis_…"

"I asked you how he's doing."

His bottle slammed onto the desk. I jumped in my seat. Doc was glaring at me now. Except he didn't look angry. He looked disgusted. My back straitened instinctively as he got up from his seat. The old man circled around me. It felt like I was being prosecuted.

"You vant to know how he's doing? Vell, let me tell you…"

He paused to pick up his medical clipboard.

"A fractured skull. 3 broken ribs. A broken nose. Two black eyes. Internal bleeding from blunt trauma. Numerous contusions. Laceration of the upper lip. A dislocated shoulder and severe tearing of the rectum." He finished by throwing the clipboard on my lap.

"You could've killed him."

I stood up, knocking my chair back. "He deserved it!"

The doctor threw his hands in the air and shouted at the ceiling.

"Vicious dummkopf!"

He paced the room, pulling a cigarette from his shirt pocket and striking the match. Doc kept shaking his head. As if trying to will away last night's encounter. I knew what I did was bad, but I refused to admit it. My actions were completely justified by Italy's betrayal. The boy had it coming.

"You've gone too far zis time Gilbert! You've done some bad things in the past, but to do something like zis to a _friend_…to your own comrade…you should be ashamed!"

I threw my chair against the wall. "Shut up!"

The wood broke and splintered onto the floor. The sound itself shook the room. Doc hardly even flinched. He was used to my tantrums by now.

"Are you proud of vhat you've done? Huh? Does it make you feel like a man? To push others around and hurt zem!"

My chest heaved. I refused to answer his stupid questions. I had every right to punish Italy in whatever way I saw fit. With everything that's happened, I deserved some sort of retribution for what Italy did to me. He was the one at fault here, not me.

I met his steely gaze. "You vouldn't understand. No one vould."

"Nien. **You** don't understand Gilbert. Vhat you've done is punishable to the highest degree. You vill stay away from him. If I so much as catch you looking at zat young man, I vill report you to straight Germany."

I took a step back. Doc wasn't kidding around. He knew I was responsible for Italy's injuries. All he would need to do was show Germany the medical report and point the finger at me. West would persecute me in an instant, no questions asked. We've already been at each other's throats. This would be the perfect opportunity for West to get me out of the picture.

I squared my shoulders. "You have no proof. It vill be my word against yours."

Doc sighed, a sad smile on his face. He took one last drag of his cigarette before stubbing it into the ashtray. All this arguing had drained the energy out of the old doctor. The tired lines on his wrinkled face screamed of exhaustion. I could barely recall when this old doctor was as spry as a newborn colt. It all seemed like so long ago.

"Really Gilbert…after all I've done for you?" He mumbled sadly.

My shoulders slumped. Doc has always been there for me and West. Even at the worst of times. He's put up with a lot of our shit and still picked up the phone when we called. Doc was one of the rare things only a few nations have ever had. A friend. The only other human I've had the privilege of calling my friend was old Fritz. And he's been dead for over a hundred years.

_But the thought of getting Italy taken away… _

"I don't care. Not if you're going to get between me and Italy."

Doc's pokerface stayed strong. His expression gave nothing away. The old doctor shuffled back over to his leather chair and plopped down with a grunt. I stood my ground. There was no way I would give in to his demands.

"I vill report you."

My fist slammed onto his desk, knocking over a picture frame.

"You can't keep him from me! He's mine!" I stomped my boot to emphasize the point.

Doc reached over his desk and moved the office phone in front of me.

"I'm not giving you an option."

I glanced down worriedly.

"Vhat's za phone for?"

"I'm sure zat young man has family that will come get him. I vant you to call zem. After zat, I vant you out of here." Doc got up from his chair and made his way towards the door.

He paused in the entrance, his back towards me. "If you do not comply, I vill report you as soon as you leave."

Doc closed the door after that.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Romano please put this coat on. It's freezing out here amor."

The stubborn Italian ignored me as usual. We'd been sitting out on this park bench in Northern Italy for over an hour now. Romano has been wearing the same expression since we got here. It really seemed like that constipated face was permanently stuck on him. I was starting to get worried.

"I talked to some of the villagers." His gruff voice piped up.

My shoulder leaned onto his as I listened closely.

"They told me the weather was going haywire here last night. Snow and rain with crazy wind and lightening. They said it went on for hours."

_That explains the cold weather this afternoon._

"And then it just stopped. Like God flipped the switch off or something. The villagers say it's been freezing cold ever since."

His hands shook. I took them in my own to stop the shivering. It didn't take a genius to see that Romano was worried about his brother. Even though he would never admit to something like that out loud. I hated seeing my little tomato like this. He's been depressed ever since this war started. What's worse was that I couldn't even help him thanks to my broke-ass boss. The only thing I could do was give my emotional support.

I placed my arm around his shoulder. "Have you tried calling him?"

He nodded. "This morning. There was no answer."

I frowned. _That's not good. _

Romano shivered from the strong gust of wind. I slipped my coat around his quivering shoulders. He took it with little resistance. I grabbed his hand and led him off the bench. We needed to get out of this cold. This was no place for a Spaniard and an Italian.

"Come on— let's go inside and try Italy again. I'm sure everything's ok. You'll see." I tried to get him to smile, but Romano merely rolled his eyes.

That was good enough for me.

Italy's house was the same as he'd left it. Every known recipe for pasta littered the kitchen with numerous IOU's stuck to the refrigerator. His art hung on almost every wall with clay sculptures sitting on most of the shelves. The rooms were all bright and colorful. A mirror image of Italy himself. Romano went straight into the kitchen to whip up some hot chocolate. As I hung our coats on the rack, the phone rang.

"Spain! Get the phone!"

I smiled. "Romano, remember that little talk we had about manners?"

"Fuck you! Just get the phone!"

_I'll let him off the hook this time_

"Hola—this is Spain."

"Spain! Finally, I've been trying to reach you. Vhy are you at Italy's house?"

My brow scrunched. "Prussia? U-uh Romano wanted to visit the northern side of the country so we decided to stop by Italy's place. Is everything alright? You sound nervous."

"U-um…n-no…no…everything's not alright."

I held the phone a little closer. "What happened?"

The line was silent for a few seconds before Prussia spoke again.

"Italy got hurt."

I glanced toward the kitchen and lowered my voice to a whisper.

"Qué! Que paso? Is he alright?"

Prussia cleared his voice.

"He's stabilized at the moment."

My eyes widened. "Stabilized? What do you mean? Tell me exactly what happened."

The line went silent again.

"Prussia?"

More silence.

"…yeah I'm still here."

There was a bad knotting in my gut.

"What happened."

It was no longer a question.

"We went out for dinner last night."

I listened intently.

"At the end of the night we got into an argument and Italy stormed off. I lost track of him down the streets."

_Italy getting mad and storming off? That doesn't sound like him. _

"I found him a little while later. He was badly beaten up…and his clothes were torn open…"

The way his voice trailed off said more than his words did.

"D-did something _happen_ to him?" I couldn't even say the word.

"Yes."

I sucked in a gulp of air. Now my hands were trembling. I looked over at the kitchen again. Romano was thankfully still busy with the hot chocolate. I ran a shaky hand through my hair.

"Ay dios mio."

I could hear Prussia's shaky breathing on the other end of the line.

"Spain—I need you to do me a favor."

"What?"

"I need you to come pick Italy up."

"Why can't…"

"West and Japan don't know vhat happened."

This time I was silent.

"I don't vant the whole world finding out about zis."

That made sense. If I were Italy, I wouldn't want anyone to know about this either. The same probably went for Romano too. This needed to be kept under wraps so Italy could heal and move on easier.

"I understand."

"Gute. Vhen can you get here?"

"As soon as I can."

I got off the phone and slipped my coat back on.

Romano was stirring the coco mix. "Who was that? Probably someone Feli owes money to I'm guessing."

I walked up behind him and kissed the back of his head.

"My boss just called. I have to make a quick trip back home."

Romano grunted, slightly leaning into my embrace.

"For what? More sucky flower arrangements?"

I tried to laugh.

"Something like that. I'll be back soon mi tomate pequeño."

"You better." Romano turned his head and planted a quick kiss on my lips.

_Dio this is gonna be a long day _

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

The kitchen was completely empty. An odd thing for this time of morning. Usually someone was in here making breakfast. I sat down at the table and read the newspaper aloud to myself. More shit about the war. Just what I needed. I threw the paper down and got up to make some coffee. After a bit of rumbling from my stomach, I got out the frying pan and threw some eggs and bacon on. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs a second later.

"Good morning Mr. Germany."

I noticed Japan was carrying Clove in his arms.

"Guten morgen Japan. Vould you like some coffee?"

"Yes, thank you."

I poured him a cup and handed him the steaming mug. Japan sat down at my spot and picked up where I left off on the newspaper. Clove jumped on the table and rolled onto his back. Obviously wanting to get petted. I shooed the fat feline away and disinfected the spot he was rolling around on. Cat fur always seemed to stick everywhere.

_I don't know why I let Italy keep that cat in the first place_

"Have you seen Italy today?"

Japan looked up from his paper. "No, not since yesterday."

It wasn't a shock for Italy to sleep in, but it was for my brother. He never slept in this late. Ever. It was especially weird not to see either of them respond to the smell of food. That was usually the one thing that got Italy out of bed in the morning. I poked the bacon with my spatula, occasionally looking over at the basement steps. When the food was ready, I didn't touch it. I just kept waiting for Italy to come bounding into kitchen.

A sharp ringing sprung up from the phone.

"I'll get it." I said, stopping Japan who was just about to get up.

"Zis is Germany speaking."

"Finally! Why can't you krouts learn to answer the phone when I call?"

I groaned. "Hello Romano. Vhat is it?"

"I want to talk to my brother. Where is he?"

"I'll go get him, just vait a second."

"Don't tell me what to do you asslic-"

I set the phone down with Romano's sharp voice screaming obscenities into the receiver. Japan went back to the newspaper with Clove purring on his lap. For a second, I wondered why Clove was up here and not down in the basement with Italy. Those two were usually inseparable here at home. I descended the steps, not caring if my loud stomps woke them up.

"Italy! Vake up! Your bruder's on za phone!" I pounded on the door.

There was no answer.

"Italy get your lazy ass up!"

If my brother was in the room, he surly would've gotten up by now. This told me it was just Italy in there. For some reason that made me feel better. Now that I sober again, it seemed much clearer that my brother was not a good match for Italy. The latter always looked uncomfortable around him. His smiles always seemed forced.

"Italy?" I asked, opening the door.

There was one in here. The bed was still neatly made. Almost as if they never came home last night. I looked around the room for any clues. Nothing. The bathroom was empty as was the rest of the basement. I practically ran back up the stairs. Japan looked a bit startled by my demeanor.

"Is everything alright?"

I slammed the phone down, putting an end to Romano's nagging voice.

That seemed to answer Japan's question. My head snapped up when living room door opened. I quickly went over to greet the newcomer, hoping to find Italy. Instead I ran into Prussia. My brother looked tired. Dark rings hung under his eyelids. His uniform was stained and ruffled. He looked like a mess. Prussia's appearance plus the absence of Italy had me even more worried than before.

"Vhere were you? And vhere is Italy?"

Prussia looked at loss for words. Japan got up from his spot, glaring at the Prussian. Clove hopped under the table, growling and hissing. I noticed Prussia had Italy's scarf in his hands. There were dark crusted stains all over it. I felt my heart drop.

"Vhere is he!" I grabbed him by the collar.

Prussia knocked my hand away.

"Spain came by to bring him home. He should be at his brother's house shortly."

My brow wrinkled as did Japan's. We both shared a troubled glance. Prussia was keeping something from us. I could tell by the way hung his head and avoided any eye contact. This was the same stance my brother took when he did something he shouldn't have. I snatched the rumpled scarf from his hands. The crusted spots were indeed blood.

"What did you do?" Japan asked, stepping forward.

Prussia immediately went on the defensive. "I didn't do anything! You think zis is my fault?"

Japan was about to retort when I slammed by brother into the door. I held him there with both fists bunched in the front of his uniform. My gloves tightened in warning.

"**Vhat**. **Happened**."

For once Prussia looked nervous.

He gulped before answering. "Italy and I got into an argument last night."

I did not loosen my grip.

"He stormed out of za restaurant and I lost track of him outside."

I pushed him further into the door. "And vhat? Tell me vhat happened!"

"Someone attacked him alright!"

The room became quiet.

Prussia shoved me away. "I found him in an alleyway. He was badly beaten and…"

"Liar."

We both looked at Japan.

"That someone was you, wasn't it?" Japan stated coldly.

I was shocked by Japan's boldness. The small man came up beside me, glaring directly at my brother. I noticed he was holding his katana. The hand grasping it looked to be shaking. As if some pent up aggression was dying to break free. I stepped aside so Japan could face my brother head on. Prussia tried to intimidate the smaller nation, though he still seemed nervous.

"How dare you accuse me of zat! You fish-faced nip!"

Within a split second, Japan drew his sword and pointed it at Prussia's throat. A line of blood trickled down from his Adam's apple. Prussia stayed perfectly still. We've all seen enough of Japan's kendo practice to know how good he was with that sword.

"I berieve that you and Itaria got into an argument, but I do not berieve that you rost track of him. Your story reeks of bullshit."

Prussia winced.

"Tell us what rearry happened."

Japan pushed the tip of his blade under Prussia's chin.

My brother clenched his jaw.

"Fuck you." He spat.

His response told us the truth.

Japan didn't flinch. He slowly lowered his blade. The small man took deep even breaths to help keep his composure. When his sword was sheathed, Prussia let out a breath of relief.

That was when I cracked him upside the jaw.

It was like a reflex reaction. I sent Prussia flying back into the door. He grabbed his jaw, moaning painfully. Japan kept his face impassive, although there was a slight satisfactory glint in his eye. I wanted to hit him again. I wanted to beat the shit out of him, but I held myself back. I wanted to be the bigger man here.

"Get up." I ordered.

Prussia glared at me, but slowly got to his feet.

I stared my older brother down. "Are you za one zat hurt Italy?"

Prussia looked away.

My fingers clenched so hard I thought they would break.

"Vhere did you take him?"

Prussia closed his eyes and sighed. "Doc's."

I sneered. "Of course you vould make him clean up another one of your messes."

Prussia didn't say anything, he just continued to stare at the floor.

"I vant you out of zis house Prussia."

A quick flash of hurt painted his face.

That was the first time I had ever called him by that name. Prussia has always been Bruder to me. Just as I have always been West to him. But now…I didn't know what Prussia was to me anymore. He felt like a stranger. I didn't even want to look at him.

Prussia looked like he wanted to say something, but stopped himself short. What was there left to say after all? Now it could've been my eyes playing tricks on me, but it looked like there were tears in his eyes. That was ridiculous though. Prussia never cried. Not even when old Fritz passed away. I doubt the man was even capable of shedding tears. Prussia flung the door open and left.

I should've felt better with Prussia gone, but if anything I felt worse.

"Japan, can you call Italy's brother and ask if Spain made it back yet?"

He nodded. "Yes of course, but where are you going?"

I slipped on my coat. "To the doctor that Prussia took him to."

Japan rubbed his temples and turned back to the kitchen. I felt a headache of my own coming on as well. My migraine only worsened when I pulled up the old doctor's house. I could imagine the hardship Prussia put Doc through this morning. It took a few knocks for someone to finally answer the door. It was Doc's wife. She too had dark bags under her eyes. The poor woman must've been up all night.

"Guten morgen Mrs. Heinrich. Is your husband home?"

She smiled and led me inside. "Ja, he's in his study."

Doc was sitting in his leather chair, a large book in one hand. He didn't look up when I walked in, he merely stubbed his cigarette in a nearby ashtray. The air felt so tense in here. Doc looked as though he'd aged another 10 years.

_I'm betting Doc had it out with Prussia too. _

"I had a feeling you vould come by." Doc mumbled.

I closed the door behind me.

"Vhat did he do? I vant to see za medical report."

Doc gave me a hard look.

"Before I show it to you, I vant you to promise me zat my office vill still be in one piece afterward."

My stomach churned a little.

_Why do I feel sick?_

After agreeing not to demolish his office, Doc handed me the papers.

Ludwig Beethoven could be heard playing in the room.

I punched my fist through the wall.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

I couldn't breathe out of my nose.

Nor could I see much really. It hurt to move in any direction. I could hear someone humming beside me. The voice sounded familiar. With great effort, I turned my head and tried opening my eyes. The person was just a blur, though I could see they were slicing something red in their hands. I coughed to try and get their attention.

"Italy? Are you awake mi amigo?"

_Spain…_

I blinked my eyes a few times. Though they still felt badly swollen, I could see Spain's face somewhat. He was smiling, of course. It felt good to see a bright, smiling face for a change. I tried to return it.

"~V-v-e…"

Spain got up and fixed my pillow.

"Don't overdo it now. You're still healing pequeño."

I snuggled further into the warm bed.

"Do you need pain medicine? The doctor gave me these pills." Spain said holding up the bottle.

I shook my head. "R-rom-mano?"

Spain sent me a sheepish grin. "I'm afraid he's down at the clinic right now."

I tilted my head.

"He broke his knuckle punching the walls earlier. I'm still cleaning up the mess in the kitchen."

I sighed, more so from relief.

_It's so good to be home again._

Spain smiled and pulled my covers up. "You get some sleep now. I'll be right here if you need me."

My eyelids drooped as I listened to Spain's humming. It sounded like a Spanish serenade. The song was warm and soothing. Just like the bed I was nuzzled on. My pains slowly ebbed away.

It wasn't long before I fell into sweet slumber.

* * *

**For those that don't know, nip was a derogatory racial slur used for the Japanese during World War 2. Of course that's not what set Japan off. That little guy knows a lie when he sees one. But a lot sure has happened in this chapter. So much that I have another question for my readers.**

**We all know Italy is a tolerant soul and could possibly forgive Prussia over time, but what about Germany? Now that he knows the full extent of what Prussia did, do you think he can ever forgive him? Is their brotherly tie forever broken? Does Prussia even deserve forgiveness? **

**Until next time**

**mcpidy**

* * *

**Translations:**

**German**

Konsequenz – Consequence

Wach auf! Ich brauche dich! – Wake up! I need you!

Danke – thank you

Dummkopf – idiot

**Spanish**

Qué! Que paso? – What! What happened?

Ay dios mio – oh my god

tomate pequeño – little tomato

pequeño – little one


End file.
